Monday, April 12, 2010

Jealousy

For “J,” I had an idea that I wasn't entirely comfortable with, but once it lodged it self in my mind, it just wouldn't allow another idea to take hold. So, I'll write of my old nemesis, Jealousy.

As most people know, jealousy is the fruit of insecurity, which we all have to varying degrees. Mine also came from childhood conditioning, and an unfaithful girlfriend when I was 16. (the guy was actually pleasuring her while I was on the phone with her. I don't have the words...) It showed itself several times when Andrea & I were early in our relationship, and when we were planning our wedding, she said that some of her friends may want to see strippers. I lost my cool, and said some pretty ugly things.

It was all but purged two summers ago. There was something I was uncomfortable with, and after about three days of stewing on it, I asked her about it. Her response was so sincere, I instantly saw how silly I had been. She offered to close her Facebook account (to avoid contact with the subject of my bilious feelings), and give me her email password. That put the whole thing in context, and since, my jealousy has been held pretty firmly in check. It has been invaluable to be with a woman who I can be totally honest and open with. It also helps that we're good at laughing at each other, so neither of us are taking ourselves too seriously.

Part of my problem came from my misunderstanding of the Club Scene. I've always been more of a metal/rock fan, so from the outside looking in, clubs look like a pheromone cult/meat market. (Thanks to Slipknot for the term “Pheromone Cult”) I didn't understand that people often go there to just dance and have a good time.

That was a difficult thing to learn, and I'm very grateful to have a woman who was so patient with me – Thanks Baby!

13 comments:

  1. Aw, I like this one! I have no tolerance for cheaters, ugh. Well done on working your way through the alphabet!

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  2. I too wrote about Jealous, great minds etc??????
    I enjoyed your post about the subject, I think you did a better job than I.

    Have a good day.
    Yvonne,

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  3. Great to see that you were able to conquer the green eyed monster of jealousy.

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  4. Great Post and so honest. Thanks for letting me visit. Will be back. Drop in on me sometimes.

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  5. Ahhh yes Jealousy...so green and mean...thanks for sharing this one! Have a great day :)

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  6. Hi Will:)

    Greetings and good wishes:)

    I am coming from Lee's blog. You are doing great in coping with the challenge. Congratulations!

    Jealously can be quite serious and most of us have this terrible quality embedded in us. It is quite difficult to control it and sometimes it goes out of control and causes havoc in our lives. I enjoyed reading your post.

    Have a wonderful day Will:)
    Joseph

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  7. Good post! Glad you have (at least mostly) tamed the green eyed monster! :)

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  8. Relationships are built upon trust. But jealousy has a way of creeping in, usually through our own insecurities. Good post.

    Stephen Tremp

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  9. That was very open and honest. Thanks so much for sharing. It is hard to get over a jealousy but its great that you have such an understanding and wonderful partner.

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  10. Jealousy is a very hard thing to get over, but it is possible (as you can see) and it's so awesome that your wife is understanding and patient.

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  11. Jealousy is an ugly thing, but everyone goes through it, and not just in romantic relationships, you can go through with jealousy in all forms for work, family to friends. It all sneaks up on us sometimes. Your girlfriend way back when, sounds like a bitch! Sorry, but its true. My brother kind of had one of those, actually all my brothers did, thats why I am so protective of them. Good Job!

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  12. Happy your partner is understanding...Great post!

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  13. Openness & honesty build the trust that keeps the jealous monster at bay. Your wife had such a loving response to your concerns.

    I came over because of the A to Z challenge and have been slowly visiting other blogs. And I selected yours sooner because I was intrigued by your the title of your blog and wanted yo to know that I found it catchy.

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