For “J,” I had an idea that I wasn't entirely comfortable with, but once it lodged it self in my mind, it just wouldn't allow another idea to take hold. So, I'll write of my old nemesis, Jealousy.
As most people know, jealousy is the fruit of insecurity, which we all have to varying degrees. Mine also came from childhood conditioning, and an unfaithful girlfriend when I was 16. (the guy was actually pleasuring her while I was on the phone with her. I don't have the words...) It showed itself several times when Andrea & I were early in our relationship, and when we were planning our wedding, she said that some of her friends may want to see strippers. I lost my cool, and said some pretty ugly things.
It was all but purged two summers ago. There was something I was uncomfortable with, and after about three days of stewing on it, I asked her about it. Her response was so sincere, I instantly saw how silly I had been. She offered to close her Facebook account (to avoid contact with the subject of my bilious feelings), and give me her email password. That put the whole thing in context, and since, my jealousy has been held pretty firmly in check. It has been invaluable to be with a woman who I can be totally honest and open with. It also helps that we're good at laughing at each other, so neither of us are taking ourselves too seriously.
Part of my problem came from my misunderstanding of the Club Scene. I've always been more of a metal/rock fan, so from the outside looking in, clubs look like a pheromone cult/meat market. (Thanks to Slipknot for the term “Pheromone Cult”) I didn't understand that people often go there to just dance and have a good time.
That was a difficult thing to learn, and I'm very grateful to have a woman who was so patient with me – Thanks Baby!