The World My Child's Born Into

Currently listening to The Tea Party: “Edges of Twilight.”

I think that a lot of new parents wonder what kind of world they're bringing their child into. My generation was brought into the Cold War, so I'm sure many of our parents wondered if we'd live to see adulthood. But having watched The Terminator, we were more excited than frightened for the post-apocalyptic world. Ah, blessed naivety. But there's always been something – wars, plagues, tyranny's, witch-hunts – to make expecting parents nervous. But I'd imagine it's like public speaking; if you're not a little scared, you just don't care enough about what you're doing, and it will show in your performance.

On the up-side, my child is coming into a world with a Brother in the White house, to which so many people just like me said: “I never thought I'd see the day!” (If you'll forgive a brief digression, I was reading Jeffery Deaver's “The Twelfth Card” the week of the election, and about three days after Obama won, I came to a scene where two characters were in Harlem, one asking if someone was out of prison. The response was “there'll be a n***** in the White House before he gets out.”) There are plenty of reasons why this is a great time to bring a person into the world, and focusing on the negative surely won't do anyone any good.

However, we are in a time of women's hair styles that are just awful. Let's look objectively at this reverse-mullet, short-back with long sides. I've seen beautiful, wonderful women who look just stupid, and I'm sorry if anyone takes offense, but honestly, people! I just want to tell them “Make sure you get lots of pictures. Dozens, even, so that you will never, ever forget just how cool you look right now.” Now, if you're younger than 22, you're expected to follow the fashions. That's what young people do! But if you're older, as many of these short-long wearers are, haven't you had a few regrettable style faux pas'? Don't you have pictures that make you say, “I can't believe I thought that was cool”?

THIS IS ONE OF THOSE STYLES!

Same with it's close relative, the forward-sloping bob. You've been warned. And I'm not too keen on the “BumpIt's” either. More novelty silliness, leaving yet more photos in it's wake to be brought out when the subject's due to be embarrassed.

Wow, that was quite the vent! Again, sorry if you're offended. It's just my opinion, and apparently, many disagree. I know many women bearing this style, who are great people, and some dear friends, who happen to look ridiculous. I also have two friends who bore these styles before it was trendy, one with short hair & long bangs, one with a subtle forward-slope bob, and it was cool before everyone was doing it. Both have altered their style in the last year.

If you're really POed at this point, and you're running for your Voodoo Doll, allow my to offer a truce: Let's agree that it's high time for the young lads to start pulling up their pants. As a former boss said, “I don't want to see anything I didn't pay to see.” (Hope you see this, K M) I was optimistic when studded belts became fashionable, but apparently, they didn't come with instructions!

The only other regrettable thing about bringing a child into this time is “Reality TV.” I sure hope that it burns itself out, and, like Variety Shows, is seen as a product of it's time.