Monday, January 11, 2010

They're Ba-a-a-ak...

Remember the Mini-Pops? Back in the early 80’s, some label got some kids who could sing, and got them to do cover versions of popular songs. You may recall nine-year-olds singing “Hungry like a Wolf” and “Who Can It Be Now.” I’d imagine that these kids are now worse off than the real pop stars, who can at least still get booked at County Fairs.

Well, they’re back. Funnily, they’re re-doing “Africa,” since it’s back on the charts. A cover-of-a-cover, if you will. I can smile at that little piece of nostalgia, but when I heard some child singing Lady Gaga’s “Poker Face,” I went white. I’m especially troubled by the “…bluffin’ with my muffin…” line. Before I found out that (s)he was trans-gendered, I thought she was championing the cock-tease; not something I believe should be promoted among out eight-year-olds, and certainly not a good idea for any woman. Men tend to get very angry at such misunderstandings.

On the other hand, when I started paying attention to popular music, Prince’s “Purple Rain” was all the rage, and I think it helped me be very appreciative of gender-benders. That music was also very explicit, and it didn’t mess my head up too much. My sexual morals still reflect my parents more than the culture at the time. But that’s the furthest thing from my mind when I think of my little girl singing “…you spin me right ‘round when you go down…” I may be getting a little ahead of myself, since she’s barely linked vowel & consonant sounds.

I know that some of you have teenage girls – do I have my knickers in a twist over nothing, or is it time to buy a hydro-less cabin in the boonies, and go Amish?


  1. No I wouldn't say your knickers are in a twist about nothing. It is disturbing to hear youngsters singing these songs and having them sold, preferably, to little kids. Might start a dialogue"Hey mom/dad whats bluffin with my muffin"

    Holy hell, what people do to make money.

  2. Go Amish. Trust me. Maybe we can get neighboring farms...

  3. All I have to say is that...

    Purple Rain is the shit!

    Go Amish. That stuff bothers me a lot too. I try to ignore, but I suppose it'll resurface if I ever have kids. In all seriousness, my advice, don't be coy about the subject matter and make sure she understands this stuff as she grows. From what I see, fear of these subjects appears to be the biggest problem these days.

    Oh and uh. Don't let her listen to 8 year olds singing about muffins, unless it's a pastry. Like the Muffin Man, but that brings up a whole other bag of "I don't want to know."

  4. I like the way my parents handled things. I was pretty blocked from things like that growing up. I mean of course I learned about it from school but I choose to stick by what I was taught and my own values. I don't think it is something u need to worry about. Your daughter is smart and u guys are great parents.

  5. Thanks for the great comments! I'm glad I don't need to worry about it for about 8 years, then it's off to the farm!

  6. I have tagged you on my blog..come and see :)

  7. I'm with the rest of the people here, we are going to have to go Amish, there is just no other solution :P