Saturday, November 14, 2009

She Smiled! kinda

It was hard to believe when it happened, but lo and behold, there were the beginnings of a smile there. Mostly, it was a lop-sided grin, with a bit of an Elvis curl. I had to listen to her middle for a moment, because such a look has been, up to this point, a herald of things to come, things that have earned her the nick-name “Thunder-Pants.” I’ve often told people, “It looks like she’s smiling at us, but I know it’s just gas,” and I was often told “Oh, you’re taking the fun out of it.” But when I’m not inflating the truth (get it? “Inflating”) it means so much more when I get the real thing!

It kinda reminds me of what a friend & I were talking about yesterday. He said that when a good writer is writing for someone else’s site (in more of a Home Page context, not Blogging. Or maybe Blogging, if that’s what a client wants), they can make them look better than they really are. We agreed that that’s not the best idea, since an accurate representation will pay off better than an exaggerated one. Like someone in Top Gun said, “Your mouth’s writing checks that your ass can’t cash!” (I think I was about 12 when I saw that, and I got the ‘check’ metaphor, but was confused as to how an ass could, even metaphorically, fulfill the promises. Typically literally-minded child) I think my favorite take on that is L’il Kim’s “My shit’s paid for, your shit’s loaned out.” (Will They Die 4 You, on Chef Aid, The South Park Album).

In other news, we got our Christmas Help in at work now. I got three of them to go to managers, and ask for the basement keys. Little did they know, the only way they’d find a basement was with a shovel. It was even better when the managers weren’t in on the joke, giving our poor Newbies a what-the-hell-are-you-talking-about? Look. One who didn’t fall for it had been a manager at a fast food joint, where they sent their newbies looking for the bacon-stretcher. Anyone else got any good Initiation stories? Within reason, of course – I don’t wasn’t to hear about the Limp Biscuit.


  1. How old is the little one now? Once the smiles start it is onward with all kinds of excitement. Hey I'll trade my 15 yo with you :D... no? didn't think so.

    sorry no initiation stories here... although it would be fun, we do have a new guy starting at the end of the month.

    How's the puppy?

  2. That totally counts as the first smile. Congrats!

    We just had our daughter's first pun -- after saying "I love you" and "I love you, too" she told her daddy to say "I love you three." I live for these moments, I tell ya...

  3. I was so excited when my baby nephew started smiling and giggling. They are so adorable.

    haha I still laugh hysterically everytime i think about what you go them to do. That was just perfect!

  4. smiles from a baby is like a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day.

    great initiation story.

    we recycle all paper at work with customer info, meaning we have huge bins that we have a company shred and recycle. We have mass amounts of paper waste at the end of the day and have special blue bins on the floor that we dump into locked containers with a little slot on them so we can put waste in, but can't stick out hands in to grab stuff.

    they are all locked with a master lock and we have a key. So I told the new kid to dump the burn bins into the big one. He asked for the key and then entire staff said we didn't have one for security reasons, so he sat there for an hour shoving paper into the tiny slot.

    When he was done I had a post it note to put in, so I grabbed the key, unlocked it, put my post it note in, and relocked it all in front of the new kid.

    We all started laughing [including him] when he realized the joke was on him.

  5. responding to your comment,

    i didn't post a link because my bosses keep an eye on my blog and i know it. it's nice to track IP addresses.

    so I wanted to get a blog out there, and keep it semi anon from my coworkers who read.