I've been reading Blogs this morning and the last new one I read was Heim Binas Fiction (Great writing blog, by the way), and it was about how you compose yourself for the public. Do we actually put on a face for those around us? I think most of us do.
When I'm at work, I'm working with the public, so I'm pretty out-going & personable. I've had people tell me that they always come to my line-up, 'cause I'm fast, and they appreciate my demeanor. It's not hard, 'cause we're far enough from the City (Toronto) that we've still got a small-town feel. But here's the thing; I'm naturally a shy introvert who closes the curtains and screens calls on my own time. I'd rather hole-up in the basement and write than go out, of have people over. I mean, I enjoy having friends over, but maybe once every 3 weeks or so!
But when I'm at work I'm pretty convincing. So much so, that when I was telling a manager that I think my baby might be a shy one (when, in utero, she wouldn't kick for me), she said “She must get that from her mother.” I'm not being insincere, but I sure exaggerate that aspect of myself. I think I started thinking about this seriously after hearing Paul McCartney singing of Elanor Rigby's face in a jar by the door. I've come to liken it to a musical performer. I mean, Alice Cooper or Rob Zombie clearly enjoy the comic-macabre, but do they run around the house with fake blood dripping off their chins? AC golfs! And looks like a long-haired version of the other golfers at the time!
I think the point I'm trying to make is that sincerity isn't the same as consistent appearance. The human spirit/mind is too big and complex to be portrayed the same way, all the time.
And on to parenting news. We had a discussion on whether it was “Callie” or “Calli,” and my first thought was “Who cares?” But on second thought, it would be smart to be consistent. Good thing we got that worked out, she'll be reading any time now.
I also found out that I've been deceived. It seems that when people told me that their child was sleeping through the night, they really meant that they slept for six hours through the night. Maybe my standards are too high, but six hours is most certainly not “sleeping through the night.” It's like saying “I ran five miles! Well, it was five kilometers, so it might as well have been five miles!” (I'm not sure of the math, but I believe a mile is between 1 ½ – 1 4/5 kms.)
Pregnancy Stupids Log: Day...Plenty. As usual, I was up at 6:30 for first feed. I started the bottle warming, waited awhile, changed Calli, fed her, then went to write & read Blogs. By 9:00, I went to see if Mom was up. As I was passing her off, I noticed her sleeper seemed wet. I figured that since she was bundled-up and in a bouncy chair, she'd been sweating. It made perfect sense, until Andrea asked “Why doesn't she have a diaper?”
I am so smart. S-M-R-T.