Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Pissing People Off

For the Insecure Writers post, our fearless Ninja Leader Alex wrote a thoughtful piece on alienating people, and fear of losing friends.

I recently finished George Carlin’s memoir, “Last Words.” A major theme was how he broke away from the conformity of the status quo. He is abrasive, and proud of it, and he made a good living at it. There are plenty of Blogs that also get abrasive and offensive, and are very popular.

In the Blogging circles I frequent, however, we’re pretty nice. Even when asked, I find it hard to be critical of other Bloggers’ writing. But there have been instances where I’ve read posts where political opinions just rub me the wrong way. In such cases, I’ll put my two cents in, but respectfully. I am figuratively in their house, after all.

On the other hand, in my own space, I’m tempted to go-off on some political stuff sometimes. That wasn’t the purpose I had on setting up the Blog, so I usually don’t, but I sometimes think that something is important enough to bring up. This could get offensive, and of course, I want people to like me. But I think that people (and Society at large) can grow from needing to face difficult questions. Half a century ago, some difficult questions were being raised about Civil Rights, and a LOT of people were upset by this. Many died in this struggle, but now, there a are a lot fewer people against these rights, and there have been generations who treat Blacks, Hispanics, Homosexuals and Women the same as themselves. We have a long way to go, but celebrating the progress helps us progress further.

The big take-away message from the George Carlin book, for me, was how important it is to be genuine. Is it more important for me to be genuinely provocative, or supportive? Honestly, I think that unity should be the end-game, but without provocation, we tend to stagnate. I guess that it’s all about time-and-place. I’m thinking that I should keep this yardstick handy, and to keep in mind that being phony will make me miserable.

16 comments:

  1. I always ask myself 'can I let it go?' and live with myself without saying something about this controversial subject ect... Most often times it's 'yes' and so I swat the debate away like a little fly. And then there are other times where something just seems injust in my eyes and I will step up to the plate and point it out with reasoning as to why it might hurt rather than help.

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  2. I think it all comes down to what our blog is supposed to be about. I've sometimes gone into realms of controversy, but usually try to avoid it. Most readers probably don't know too much on how I believe about issues because that's not what I'm trying to convey. Test the waters now and then and see what kind of reaction you get. In fact, I recall you having done so in a few instances and the repercussions didn't seem to be devastating. What is your message to us and are you ready for the response? If we get pissed and abandon you then you have a better idea of who you've been dealing with all along. I don't think anyone will be overly upset with you if you tactfully express your honest opinion.


    Lee
    Tossing It Out

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  3. I've always tried to be genuine online. If I see a post that really offends, I usually walk away. By nature, I'm just not a controversial person.
    I do have strong beliefs though, and I think it's the omission of certain topics on my blog that speak the strongest. If that makes sense?

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  4. I don't do politics or religion, but other than those I try to be as true to myself as I can.

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  5. Personally I don't like to hurt or upset people, I treat people as I would like to be treated myself.

    There are some areas I don't like to comment on , we all have different opinions on things.

    Take care.
    Yvonne.

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  6. If someone says something that irks me, I'll ask myself if I can let it go. If I can, I do. Interestingly enough, I can generally leave political and religious discussions alone but bad grammar always seems to send me over the edge.

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  7. I miss George Carlin. You are absolutely correct. Being genuine is the only way I find happiness in life.

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  8. Always be who you are. Being genuine is a the way to be! great post Will

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  9. I purposefully try to avoid politics and religion. I think there is something special about being able to interact with so many people and find things you have in common outside of those two things. For a lot of folks, their spiritual and political beliefs define who they associate with... I really enjoy letting that stuff go by the wayside.

    Some folks do tend to be more offensive than others. It's just their thing I guess. I may or may not agree, but I'd rather not alienate folks for no reason. I'm sure I will eventually, but it won't be on purpose.

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  10. I think it is all about authenticity. The subject isn't as important. I think there is a difference between political rhetoric and honest to goodness concern and perspective. I also believe that an honest and pure sharing of spiritual beliefs or thoughts is much different than a regurgitation of religious dogma. Great post.

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  11. Be genuine, even if it can come off as abrasive or confrontational. What'd be the point of hiding your personality on the blog-o-sphere? Besides, I think that two bloggers writing on the same issue with the same beliefs can write two very different pieces, just depending on how they deal with their own gripes and keep, if not professional, at least amicable.

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  12. I agree ~ the people I've met online have been amazing. I have found it to be a very kind and gracious community. Being genuine; I think that's the only way to BE the kind of community we have here.

    And wow. That really didn't make much sense. But hopefully you can decode it ;)

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  13. I don't believe you can go through life without alienating/offending someone. I think our blogs - for the most part - reflect who we are as individuals. What we choose to post about doesn't have to be so opinionated its offensive to get our basic beliefs and ideas out there.

    Opinions are just opinions. We all have them. Some people - and I'm seeing you as one of them Will - know how to assert their own beliefs without trouncing on the beliefs/opinions of others. That doesn't mean you have to put your whole life story out there, or disclose the intimate details of your belief system, it just means you are true to yourself.

    I like your philosophy on the blogs.

    .....dhole

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  14. As you know from reading my blog, I don't give a shit if people don't like what I have to say. Just as one can turn the t.v. to a new channel, if you don't like what I'm saying click on over somewhere else. If I am not genuine, then what am I? That does not make me have lots of friends, but the friends I do have are REAL friends.

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  15. Great post. It is a challenge to step out & not live a conformed life...but I think when we do, we find our true happiness. Have a great weekend!

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  16. Interesting question and I think I have two different answers. One for myself - If I read a topic that irks me, I tend to walk away. It can be difficult with written conversations between people as tone and body language aren't included and I have managed to get myself into some very odd disagreements in text message discussions. Whomever is giving the opinion I'm irked by, doesn't need me to comment on everything they have to say, so if most of the time we're in agreement or find similar things interesting, then I'm ok with that. As the saying goes, it would be a very boring world if we were all alike.

    The other answer would be in relation to your own commenting and posting. I do believe if you feel passionately about something, you should say how you feel and as your profile states, as long as it's conveyed politely then there should be no issues. Being crabby just for crabby sake is not holding a balanced discussion, it's just being crabby. There are ways of going about these things and some people just like the thrill of the arguement and insults. Your blog is your space as other people have opened their blogs up to others, they shouldn't expect people to agree with every word that comes out of their mouths, especially if they post something they know people have varied views on.

    Be yourself. Walking away is me being myself. (Though in reality I sometimes wish I walked away more often!)

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