Monday, September 19, 2011

As the big studios are trying to crank-out several Blockbuster Extravaganza’s per year, they are increasingly mining the past. This has often worked well, as was the case with Transformers and even The A Team.

Much of the audience approached these movies with a sense of hopeful nostalgia, and they weren’t disappointed. Well, I’m sure that many were disappointed; nerds are notorious for poo-poo-ing any efforts to revitalize a classic franchise, but that’s neither here nor there.

Which brings me to the colossal disappointment that was the G.I. Joe movie. To be fair, what did they do right? Well, I enjoyed the emphasis on Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow. And, there was some nice eye-candy. I also liked the origins-of-Cobra-Commander part.

How about the classic character of Scarlet? Known and loved for decades, they spent minutes on the character, and her “I-don’t-believe-in-emotions-because-they-aren’t-tangible” speech nearly made me throw my TV out the window. Really? I’m sure that only the most damaged High-Schoolers are buying into that bullshit dichotomy.

And how about those power-suits that the new recruits enjoyed? NOT NECESSARY! The GI Joe lore has quite enough to fill a movie, and make it exciting. I’m not 100% sure that there weren’t these Power Suits, but it just came off like a visual gimmick. Granted, it did work as such, but it would have been better in another movie.

And WTF with the Baroness turn-coating at the end? They were plainly setting up a series (or a sequel, at the very least). Having a primary antagonist switching sides at the end just did NOT make sense!

Like a lot of people my age, I have a soft spot for G.I. Joe, and I was very disappointed in this movie. Did they even test-screen it with an appropriate age group? It seems that they were thumbing their noses at us, and trying out some new special effects tricks. If that was the case, good for them, but please, do NOT tack a well-established name on it.

And that’s my spleen-venting for the week. Thanks for hanging in there.


  1. I haven't seen it but I'm not sure I want to now. Thanks for the review.

  2. I think I'm lucky I never got attached to any of this stuff the first time around. I have some fear about the Charlie's Angels reprise, as that was a chunk of my childhood (any group of girls who hung out in 3s in the 70s would say the same) but I have no sentiment at all for comic book stuff. Sorry they mangled your story!

  3. I grew up with GI Joe and hated the movie. Should've put it on my list...

  4. G.I. Joe wasn't my thing, but I've seen the movie and I'm sure it offended fans everywhere.

  5. I didn't mind G.I.Joe, but when I watched it I wasn't expecting much anyway, so I wasn't disappointed ;)

  6. G I Joe looked good to me in the previews and I was looking forward to it. Sad it was such a letdown.

    Tossing It Out

  7. Should have made my Worst Movies Ever Blogfest list. What a stinker! Nanobots was such a cool idea. Alas, just another Hollywood letdown.

  8. I'm tired of all the recycling. A new Charlie's Angels - for the third time???? yawn. It is like there is not an original idea in existence anymore.

  9. LOL I remember talking to you about this when u first saw it. I liked it, but of course I can see why you wouldn't. They were defiantly setting up for a sequel, and I guess in their mind having Baroness brain washed and not going to the dark side on her own terms was not the way they wanted it? Just a thought. They can't make her purely good, because that would ruin the truth of the story