Tuesday, March 22, 2011

The Goldfish Experiment.

For those who are unfamiliar with with the Bloggers Crusade, this challenge is a flash fiction piece, where we all start with the same four words. After the first pass, I had to cut 18 words, and I'll tell ya, it was a great exercise in editing! So without further adieu...

The goldfish bowl teetered on the rail of the ship, and Peasolbottom the goldfish tasted freedom. The expanse called, and Peasolbottom dreamed of the freedom of the sea. But again, the person who put him on the rail caught the bowl before it launched Peasolbottom to his fate. The person laughed; he knew damn well that he was teasing him!
But then the miracle happened! Rope caught the man's ankle. As Peasolbottom met the sea, he realized that the water was different: salty. As his body rejected the environment, he heard “The captain's gonna kill me for losing Peasolbottom!”

25 comments:

  1. That's an interesting name for a fish. It's true, challenges force us to edit!

    If you get a chance, please visit my blog. I'm holding a 500 follower contest. Great prizes!

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  2. It seems all flash fiction is about the same, always trying to pull the rug out from under you like an M. Night Shamaylan movie.

    I actually did 7 or so of these that I'm posting on Friday. I could have done more but it started to get boring.

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  3. Wait, it was 6 goldfish stories in 6 different genres.

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  4. Love the name! great twist at the end.

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  5. Ha, great twist at the end. Be careful of what you wish for, eh? Cute name for the goldfish, too, and a nice unique setting.

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  6. Oh, no! Be careful what you wish for Peasolbottom! I have been AWOL and not seen this challenge... need to get on it! Fun tale!

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  7. Oh, the Captain's going to mad! Nice piece!

    Nikki

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  8. Great twist! Poor Peasolbottom. Awesome name for a fish, by the way.

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  9. Great job. Poor unfortunate fishy.

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  10. I guess freedom isn't all it's cracked up to be =)

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  11. Great job Will. You went with the freedom theme like I did. Loved it.

    Denise<3

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  12. That's a bummer that he didn't like the salt. Poor Peasolbottom. Great job!

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  13. Poor Peasolbottom. Quite ironic, really, isn't it? Nice take on the theme!

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  14. Sounds like fun to do. I like the name Peasolbottom.

    Yvonne.

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  15. Aww, I feel bad for Peasolbottom - love his name btw :P - but I loved the story.

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  16. Poor dear Peasolbottom, such a cruel twist of fate for him! I like how a lot of people's flash fictions have a twist at the end. Very cool.

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  17. Man, I'm totally depressed now. RIP Peasolbottom. May you enjoy your swim in the big (non-salty) ocean in the sky.

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  18. Sometimes what we want isn't really what we want eh?

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  19. Fish don't have ears...at least the ones I buy. You'll have to tell where you came up with the name.

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  20. freedom is sometimes a trifle over rated!!!

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  21. Ah, I like your take on the theme: freedom comes at a price. Great job!

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  22. Cute story. Like the fish name although I cannot imagine how you came up with it. Poor fish. Poor salted fish.

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  23. Great name. I was expecting him to get eaten by a larger fish. The ocean being salt water never even crossed my mind.

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  24. What a unique name! Poor Peasolbottom.

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