Saturday, March 20, 2010

Witless Wonder

Good Lord in Heaven, has it really been more than a week since I've written? Well, I've got a good reason: I'm witless.

I first realized this last Tuesday. I packed-up Callie and took her to my parents for a visit (about a 40 min drive). I always enjoy the drive because my work-commute is 4 Km (about 2 ½ miles, I think) with about 10 stop lights. No shit, it's ridiculous. Plus My wife's car is set-up with the child seat, and she has a CD player (my '94 Cavalier only has cassette – remember cassettes?). So my little girl and are are barreling north, enjoying sunshine and Stevie Ray Vaughn, nothing could go wrong with this plan.

When I got there though, I realized that I had nothing to offer for conversation. “So, what's new?” “Well, we had a two-poop day last week...” It was a little embarrassing, I'm glad it was family. Just to show that I'm still a shit-disturber, I left a diaper under my dad's pillow. It was un-used; I'm not a complete asshole!

Speaking of which, I found a balled-up diaper in the parking lot at work, and I thought, “Really? Did someone really leave a sewage-pack for someone else to pick up?” Ph'kn rude! But just when you think that can't be topped, others have found used condoms in our parking lot. Nothing says 'Romance' like nookie in a retail parking after hours. No wonder Darwinian Natural Selection seems far-fetched when such ignorant bastards still try to breed.


  1. haha I have found both. Its extremely disturbing. I have found condoms, and both poop diapers and diapers that are just so full and heavy of urine.

    lol ah cassette tapes, long time, but great memories.

  2. You need to teach the little one to talk too..

    My husbands car is around 19 years old.. still runs, just please don't make me drive it.

  3. Once my friend and I went to Austin for a press conference and stayed in a pretty nice hotel that was close to the capitol. We got there, checked in, commented on the nice room and went out. The next morning when we woke up, I thought I saw something under her bed, but I wasn't sure, so rubbed the sleep out of my eyes before screaming, "HOLY SHIT, THERE'S A USED CONDOM UNDER YOUR BED!!!" Needless to say, we didn't have to pay for the room since we hadn't had company the night before.

  4. I remember walking out of my apartment last summer and getting to my car, and all of a sudden I realized there was a used condom right behind it. So now ever since I have been all traumatized, wondering if they had sex up against my car? UGH. WHAT is WRONG with people??

  5. remind me to stay far away from your parking lot :D