As I'm sure you've noticed, one of the things I really enjoy studying is belief systems. I got well-educated in Christianity as a youth, and later, went on to study Eastern beliefs. One of my favorite's is Zen.
Buddhism actually began in India, but didn't get much traction there. When it reached China, it was similar enough to Taoism (from which we get the Yin-Yang) that it really took hold, and traveled further East to Japan, where it developed into Zen.
Zen has more to do with practice than belief. To practice Zen, simply sit and mind your breath. That's it. Just pay attention to the physical sensations as you're drawing, then expelling air. (This is where Buddhism came full-circle to the Yoga tradition, which is traditionally focused more on breathing exercises than stretching.)
If you've tried this, you will have quickly seen the difference between 'simple' and 'easy.' In order to pay proper attention to the breath, you must ignore the mental chatter that fills our heads at all times – that's the point. Most of it is either re-living the past (“ooh, I wish I'd have said that! That would have been perfect!”), or rehearsing/dreaming of the future (“Wonder what's for dinner?” “Next time I see Al, I need to ask him about...”).
Practicing Zen can really bring you into the now. I kinda wish I was more up-to-speed on my practice, but, you know, life happens. When I was practicing, I was surprised at just how much is going on around me at any given time, and just how difficult it was to be bored! Between the ordered chaos within my own mind and body, and the symphony of my surroundings, there wasn't a moment when there wasn't something fascinating happening.
More importantly, I realized just how much judgment happened in my mind. Somehow, instead of seeing things happen, my mind would layer “Meaning” from my own experiences. For example, I'd see an old station wagon with the imitation wood on the side, and I'd think of my grandmother taking us to the cottage, then I'd think of unpleasant family drama. BAM! It's just a car, but suddenly, I've got an eye-twitch and heart burn! None of this was impacting my life at that moment, and if I was being mindful, I could have the detachment necessary to see that.
At the same time, being mindful of what's going on in my head also gives me the mental tools to see when I'm hearing from a more Eternal Voice. Recognizing the mental chatter helps me seperate it from the more important messages.
A fascinating book that takes these practices and gleans the gems from the cultural color & trappings is “Wherever You Go There You Are” by Jon Kabat-Zinn.
Have you taken some time to just Be lately?
Friday, April 30, 2010
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Yes
One of the most infamous romances in Rock 'n Roll history began when John Lennon went to an art exhibit. In the foyer was a step ladder (that Yoko Ono had “borrowed” from her land lord) and a magnifying glass hung from the ceiling. When John climbed the ladder and looked through the looking glass, he found a tiny word written on the ceiling: “Yes.” He was instantly smitten with the artist.
There are few words one would rather hear. Sadly, as a parent, I'm afraid I'll need to use it sparingly. “Can I play in the mud?” No. “Can I play with your guitar?” No.”Can I play with your sword?” NO! “Can I have a cookie?” It's almost dinner time.
But, oh, how they light up when I do get to say 'Yes.' “Is Santa coming tonight?” “Yes, if you're in bed by seven.” Fat chance. “Is Gramma coming over today?” Yay, quarters and gum for all! “Are we going to the water park this weekend?” Yay, water-wedgies for all!
And, “Is the baby asleep?” YES! We've got half an hour, better make it count! Who says that romance loses it's excitement when a baby arrives?
Sometimes it's really difficult, like “Do it's time to start trying for a child?” We had a plan, and it was time to get to it, but there was a lot of fear involved. Thankfully, with an understanding wife, experienced friends, and Blogging, I was able to vent my fears in safe environments, and I'm so glad I said “Yes!”
Mostly, it's fun to say 'Yes.' Have you ever said 'yes' to someone who needed help moving? I swear, you can see three pounds of pressure drop from their face, and their shoulders loosen too! Or at work, when a customer is looking for an item. When I can track it down for them, it just seems to make their day. I may be blowing it out of proportion a little, but they are genuinely appreciative.
I'm sure that you say 'yes' to people several times a day, but try to be mindful of it; see the affect it has on them, and on yourself. See how it seems to brighten the room just a little.
There are few words one would rather hear. Sadly, as a parent, I'm afraid I'll need to use it sparingly. “Can I play in the mud?” No. “Can I play with your guitar?” No.”Can I play with your sword?” NO! “Can I have a cookie?” It's almost dinner time.
But, oh, how they light up when I do get to say 'Yes.' “Is Santa coming tonight?” “Yes, if you're in bed by seven.” Fat chance. “Is Gramma coming over today?” Yay, quarters and gum for all! “Are we going to the water park this weekend?” Yay, water-wedgies for all!
And, “Is the baby asleep?” YES! We've got half an hour, better make it count! Who says that romance loses it's excitement when a baby arrives?
Sometimes it's really difficult, like “Do it's time to start trying for a child?” We had a plan, and it was time to get to it, but there was a lot of fear involved. Thankfully, with an understanding wife, experienced friends, and Blogging, I was able to vent my fears in safe environments, and I'm so glad I said “Yes!”
Mostly, it's fun to say 'Yes.' Have you ever said 'yes' to someone who needed help moving? I swear, you can see three pounds of pressure drop from their face, and their shoulders loosen too! Or at work, when a customer is looking for an item. When I can track it down for them, it just seems to make their day. I may be blowing it out of proportion a little, but they are genuinely appreciative.
I'm sure that you say 'yes' to people several times a day, but try to be mindful of it; see the affect it has on them, and on yourself. See how it seems to brighten the room just a little.
Xandali the Faery Martyr
Xandali was the first of the Faery to propose the idea of cross-breeding with humans to infiltrate humanity (see my post from March 27), a generation before the project actually began. While the Faery population responded well to the idea if infiltration, poor Xandali couldn't convince them that the humans didn't carry a contagious pathogen that caused baldness. Faeries have always been quite vain.
Xandali appealed to their outrage at the Druids for scaring them underground with a giant paper mache hippopotamus, but only got the support of those who were mad at their fathers, being the most natural rebels of any culture. His true motives, however, were kept to himself.
There was a particularly lovely cat herder named Diloa. Xandali would hide behind rocks, and watch her, dreaming of excuses to “have relations” with her. Faeries were not, at that time, skilled in romance, so wooing her with tales of vengeance on the Druids was the best he could come up with. Getting his family in on the infiltration idea would be necessary, since his mother had her heart set on him marrying a certain cobbler's daughter.
After a discouraging argument in a Faery barber shop, trying to convince his brethren that the humans wouldn't think of them as “Easy,” Xandali went to the cat pastures for some voyeurism. Diloa was harder to find than usual; cats are not easily herded. Poor Xandali spent the day wandering, and wound up in a small town by the sea. The people of this town had never seen a Faery, and were awed by his red hair. They didn't believe his story that it was from falling asleep while picking raspberries, and assumed that he was a messenger from the gods.
Seeing that there was no escape from their adorations, he spent his days preaching a message of peace and tolerance of the balding.
When the Faeries of his home cavern discovered him missing, his followers spread the rumor that he had been abducted by Druids and spun into gold. Faeries hate being mistaken for Smurfs almost as much as they hate being mistaken for Leprechauns. Having a martyr got the hybrid-infiltration project the approval it needed to proceed.
Diloa was never seen again, and was presumed dead by salmon attack.
Xandali appealed to their outrage at the Druids for scaring them underground with a giant paper mache hippopotamus, but only got the support of those who were mad at their fathers, being the most natural rebels of any culture. His true motives, however, were kept to himself.
There was a particularly lovely cat herder named Diloa. Xandali would hide behind rocks, and watch her, dreaming of excuses to “have relations” with her. Faeries were not, at that time, skilled in romance, so wooing her with tales of vengeance on the Druids was the best he could come up with. Getting his family in on the infiltration idea would be necessary, since his mother had her heart set on him marrying a certain cobbler's daughter.
After a discouraging argument in a Faery barber shop, trying to convince his brethren that the humans wouldn't think of them as “Easy,” Xandali went to the cat pastures for some voyeurism. Diloa was harder to find than usual; cats are not easily herded. Poor Xandali spent the day wandering, and wound up in a small town by the sea. The people of this town had never seen a Faery, and were awed by his red hair. They didn't believe his story that it was from falling asleep while picking raspberries, and assumed that he was a messenger from the gods.
Seeing that there was no escape from their adorations, he spent his days preaching a message of peace and tolerance of the balding.
When the Faeries of his home cavern discovered him missing, his followers spread the rumor that he had been abducted by Druids and spun into gold. Faeries hate being mistaken for Smurfs almost as much as they hate being mistaken for Leprechauns. Having a martyr got the hybrid-infiltration project the approval it needed to proceed.
Diloa was never seen again, and was presumed dead by salmon attack.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Warnings
It's been awhile since I've used this space for a larf, but Andrea & I were poking fun at some Warning Labels, and I thought, “Now there's a rich topic.”
One of Cali's favorite toys is her Exer-Saucer – it;s about 2 ½ feet across, and she sits in the middle, surrounded by toys. A warning label says “Do not spin child in the seat.” While the seat does rotate, there's too much friction to gain any speed. Unless, of course, you take it apart and add ball bearings, or grease. Paints a picture, don't it? “Betcha she'll sleep now!”
On a bag of shelled peanuts, it actually says this on the back; “Ingredients: Peanuts. WARNING may contain traces of peanuts or other nut types.” Ya think?
Here's some more that I found on http://www.rinkworks.com/said/warnings.shtml WARNING: Do not read while consuming a beverage. Do not read with a full bladder.
"Do not use if you cannot see clearly to read the information in the information booklet." -- In the information booklet.
"Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." -- On a bottle of shampoo for dogs.
"For external use only!" -- On a curling iron.
"Warning: This product can burn eyes." -- On a curling iron.
"Do not use in shower." -- On a hair dryer.
"Do not use while sleeping." -- On a hair dryer.
"Do not use while sleeping or unconscious." -- On a hand-held massaging device.
"Do not place this product into any electronic equipment." -- On the case of a chocolate CD in a gift basket.
"Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking." -- On a toilet at a public sports facility in Ann Arbor, Michigan.
"Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover." -- On a pair of shin guards made for bicyclists.
"This product not intended for use as a dental drill." -- On an electric rotary tool.
"Caution: Do not spray in eyes." -- On a container of underarm deodorant.
"Do not drive with sunshield in place." -- On a cardboard sunshield that keeps the sun off the dashboard.
"Caution: This is not a safety protective device." -- On a plastic toy helmet used as a container for popcorn.
"Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks." -- On an "Aim-n-Flame" fireplace lighter.
"Battery may explore or leak." -- On a battery. See a scanned image.
"Do not eat toner." -- On a toner cartridge for a laser printer.
"Not intended for highway use." -- On a 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow.
"This product is not to be used in bathrooms." -- On a Holmes bathroom heater.
"May irritate eyes." -- On a can of self-defense pepper spray.
"Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth." -- On a novelty rock garden set called "Popcorn Rock."
"Caution! Contents hot!" -- On a Domino's Pizza box.
"Caution: Hot beverages are hot!" -- On a coffee cup.
"Caution: Shoots rubber bands." -- On a product called "Rubber Band Shooter."
"Warning: May contain small parts." -- On a frisbee.
"Do not use orally." -- On a toilet bowl cleaning brush.
"Please keep out of children." -- On a butcher knife.
"Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less." -- On a birthday card for a 1 year old.
"Do not recharge, put in backwards, or use." -- On a battery.
"Warning: Do not use on eyes." -- In the manual for a heated seat cushion.
"Do not look into laser with remaining eye." -- On a laser pointer.
"Do not use for drying pets." -- In the manual for a microwave oven.
"For use on animals only." -- On an electric cattle prod.
"For use by trained personnel only." -- On a can of air freshener.
"Keep out of reach of children and teenagers." -- On a can of air freshener.
"Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you." -- On a motorcycle helmet-mounted rear-view mirror.
"Warning: Riders of personal watercraft may suffer injury due to the forceful injection of water into body cavities either by falling into the water or while mounting the craft." -- In the manual for a jetski.
"Warning: Do not climb inside this bag and zip it up. Doing so will cause injury and death." -- A label inside a protective bag (for fragile objects), which measures 15cm by 15cm by 12cm.
"Do not use as ear plugs." -- On a package of silly putty.
"Please store in the cold section of the refrigerator." -- On a bag of fresh grapes in Australia.
"Warning: knives are sharp!" -- On the packaging of a sharpening stone.
"Not for weight control." -- On a pack of Breath Savers.
"Twist top off with hands. Throw top away. Do not put top in mouth." -- On the label of a bottled drink.
"Theft of this container is a crime." -- On a milk crate.
"Do not use intimately." -- On a tube of deodorant.
"Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice." -- On a box of rat poison.
"Fragile. Do not drop." -- Posted on a Boeing 757.
"Cannot be made non-poisonous." -- On the back of a can of de-icing windshield fluid.
"Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage." -- On a portable stroller.
"Excessive dust may be irritating to shin and eyes." -- On a tube of agarose powder, used to make gels.
"Look before driving." -- On the dash board of a mail truck.
"Do not iron clothes on body." -- On packaging for a Rowenta iron.
"Do not drive car or operate machinery." -- On Boot's children's cough medicine.
"For indoor or outdoor use only." -- On a string of Christmas lights.
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." -- On a child sized Superman costume.
"This door is alarmed from 7:00pm - 7:00am." -- On a hospital's outside access door.
"Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted." -- On a sign at a railroad station.
"Warning: do not use if you have prostate problems." -- On a box of Midol PMS relief tablets.
"Product will be hot after heating." -- On a supermarket dessert box.
"Do not turn upside down." -- On the bottom of a supermarket dessert box.
"Do not light in face. Do not expose to flame." -- On a lighter.
"Choking hazard: This toy is a small ball." -- On the label for a cheap rubber ball toy.
"Not for human consumption." -- On a package of dice.
"May be harmful if swallowed." -- On a shipment of hammers.
"Using Ingenio cookware to destroy your old pots may void your warranty." -- A printed message that appears in a television advertisement when the presenter demonstrates how strong the cookware is by using it to beat up and destroy a regular frying pan.
"Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand." -- In the manual for a Swedish chainsaw.
"Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers." -- From a manual for an SGI computer.
"Warning: May contain nuts." -- On a package of peanuts.
"Do not eat." -- On a slip of paper in a stereo box, referring to the styrofoam packing.
"Do not eat if seal is missing." -- On said seal.
"Remove occupants from the stroller before folding it."
"Access hole only -- not intended for use in lifting box." -- On the sides of a shipping carton, just above cut-out openings which one would assume were handholds.
"Warning: May cause drowsiness." -- On a bottle of Nytol, a brand of sleeping pills.
"Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death." -- Stamped on the metal barrel of a .22 calibre rifle.
"Do not use orally after using rectally." -- In the instructions for an electric thermometer.
"Turn off motor before using this product." -- On the packaging for a chain saw file, used to sharpen the cutting teeth on the chain.
"Not to be used as a personal flotation device." -- On a 6x10 inch inflatable picture frame.
"Do not put in mouth." -- On a box of bottle rockets.
"Remove plastic before eating." -- On the wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack.
"Not dishwasher safe." -- On a remote control for a TV.
"For lifting purposes only." -- On the box for a car jack.
"Do not put lit candles on phone." -- On the instructions for a cordless phone.
"Warning! This is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants." -- On the packaging for a wristwatch.
"Do not wear for sumo wrestling." -- From a set of washing instructions. See a scanned image.
One of Cali's favorite toys is her Exer-Saucer – it;s about 2 ½ feet across, and she sits in the middle, surrounded by toys. A warning label says “Do not spin child in the seat.” While the seat does rotate, there's too much friction to gain any speed. Unless, of course, you take it apart and add ball bearings, or grease. Paints a picture, don't it? “Betcha she'll sleep now!”
On a bag of shelled peanuts, it actually says this on the back; “Ingredients: Peanuts. WARNING may contain traces of peanuts or other nut types.” Ya think?
Here's some more that I found on http://www.rinkworks.com/said/warnings.shtml WARNING: Do not read while consuming a beverage. Do not read with a full bladder.
"Do not use if you cannot see clearly to read the information in the information booklet." -- In the information booklet.
"Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." -- On a bottle of shampoo for dogs.
"For external use only!" -- On a curling iron.
"Warning: This product can burn eyes." -- On a curling iron.
"Do not use in shower." -- On a hair dryer.
"Do not use while sleeping." -- On a hair dryer.
"Do not use while sleeping or unconscious." -- On a hand-held massaging device.
"Do not place this product into any electronic equipment." -- On the case of a chocolate CD in a gift basket.
"Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking." -- On a toilet at a public sports facility in Ann Arbor, Michigan.
"Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover." -- On a pair of shin guards made for bicyclists.
"This product not intended for use as a dental drill." -- On an electric rotary tool.
"Caution: Do not spray in eyes." -- On a container of underarm deodorant.
"Do not drive with sunshield in place." -- On a cardboard sunshield that keeps the sun off the dashboard.
"Caution: This is not a safety protective device." -- On a plastic toy helmet used as a container for popcorn.
"Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks." -- On an "Aim-n-Flame" fireplace lighter.
"Battery may explore or leak." -- On a battery. See a scanned image.
"Do not eat toner." -- On a toner cartridge for a laser printer.
"Not intended for highway use." -- On a 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow.
"This product is not to be used in bathrooms." -- On a Holmes bathroom heater.
"May irritate eyes." -- On a can of self-defense pepper spray.
"Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth." -- On a novelty rock garden set called "Popcorn Rock."
"Caution! Contents hot!" -- On a Domino's Pizza box.
"Caution: Hot beverages are hot!" -- On a coffee cup.
"Caution: Shoots rubber bands." -- On a product called "Rubber Band Shooter."
"Warning: May contain small parts." -- On a frisbee.
"Do not use orally." -- On a toilet bowl cleaning brush.
"Please keep out of children." -- On a butcher knife.
"Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less." -- On a birthday card for a 1 year old.
"Do not recharge, put in backwards, or use." -- On a battery.
"Warning: Do not use on eyes." -- In the manual for a heated seat cushion.
"Do not look into laser with remaining eye." -- On a laser pointer.
"Do not use for drying pets." -- In the manual for a microwave oven.
"For use on animals only." -- On an electric cattle prod.
"For use by trained personnel only." -- On a can of air freshener.
"Keep out of reach of children and teenagers." -- On a can of air freshener.
"Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you." -- On a motorcycle helmet-mounted rear-view mirror.
"Warning: Riders of personal watercraft may suffer injury due to the forceful injection of water into body cavities either by falling into the water or while mounting the craft." -- In the manual for a jetski.
"Warning: Do not climb inside this bag and zip it up. Doing so will cause injury and death." -- A label inside a protective bag (for fragile objects), which measures 15cm by 15cm by 12cm.
"Do not use as ear plugs." -- On a package of silly putty.
"Please store in the cold section of the refrigerator." -- On a bag of fresh grapes in Australia.
"Warning: knives are sharp!" -- On the packaging of a sharpening stone.
"Not for weight control." -- On a pack of Breath Savers.
"Twist top off with hands. Throw top away. Do not put top in mouth." -- On the label of a bottled drink.
"Theft of this container is a crime." -- On a milk crate.
"Do not use intimately." -- On a tube of deodorant.
"Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice." -- On a box of rat poison.
"Fragile. Do not drop." -- Posted on a Boeing 757.
"Cannot be made non-poisonous." -- On the back of a can of de-icing windshield fluid.
"Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage." -- On a portable stroller.
"Excessive dust may be irritating to shin and eyes." -- On a tube of agarose powder, used to make gels.
"Look before driving." -- On the dash board of a mail truck.
"Do not iron clothes on body." -- On packaging for a Rowenta iron.
"Do not drive car or operate machinery." -- On Boot's children's cough medicine.
"For indoor or outdoor use only." -- On a string of Christmas lights.
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." -- On a child sized Superman costume.
"This door is alarmed from 7:00pm - 7:00am." -- On a hospital's outside access door.
"Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted." -- On a sign at a railroad station.
"Warning: do not use if you have prostate problems." -- On a box of Midol PMS relief tablets.
"Product will be hot after heating." -- On a supermarket dessert box.
"Do not turn upside down." -- On the bottom of a supermarket dessert box.
"Do not light in face. Do not expose to flame." -- On a lighter.
"Choking hazard: This toy is a small ball." -- On the label for a cheap rubber ball toy.
"Not for human consumption." -- On a package of dice.
"May be harmful if swallowed." -- On a shipment of hammers.
"Using Ingenio cookware to destroy your old pots may void your warranty." -- A printed message that appears in a television advertisement when the presenter demonstrates how strong the cookware is by using it to beat up and destroy a regular frying pan.
"Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand." -- In the manual for a Swedish chainsaw.
"Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers." -- From a manual for an SGI computer.
"Warning: May contain nuts." -- On a package of peanuts.
"Do not eat." -- On a slip of paper in a stereo box, referring to the styrofoam packing.
"Do not eat if seal is missing." -- On said seal.
"Remove occupants from the stroller before folding it."
"Access hole only -- not intended for use in lifting box." -- On the sides of a shipping carton, just above cut-out openings which one would assume were handholds.
"Warning: May cause drowsiness." -- On a bottle of Nytol, a brand of sleeping pills.
"Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death." -- Stamped on the metal barrel of a .22 calibre rifle.
"Do not use orally after using rectally." -- In the instructions for an electric thermometer.
"Turn off motor before using this product." -- On the packaging for a chain saw file, used to sharpen the cutting teeth on the chain.
"Not to be used as a personal flotation device." -- On a 6x10 inch inflatable picture frame.
"Do not put in mouth." -- On a box of bottle rockets.
"Remove plastic before eating." -- On the wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack.
"Not dishwasher safe." -- On a remote control for a TV.
"For lifting purposes only." -- On the box for a car jack.
"Do not put lit candles on phone." -- On the instructions for a cordless phone.
"Warning! This is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants." -- On the packaging for a wristwatch.
"Do not wear for sumo wrestling." -- From a set of washing instructions. See a scanned image.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
My Verbal Girl.
One of the major mile-stones that all parents look forward to is when the baby utters their first word. Before that, there is a LOT of verbal activity. Cali's most immediate noise is the traumatized wail, which roughly translates: “AAH What a bright, cold world!” She quickly learned that the same noise would get her fed, so we got a lot of it.
The first pleasant noise she made was cooing during a feeding, my Papa told us to look for this one, as it had been a favorite for him. Eventually, she learned to make excited noises; little squeals when she sees something that takes her fancy. This is how we knew that she'd come to recognize the dog. She then moved on to making ambiguous vowel noises at us, as though she was mimicking the conversations she watched. My favorite, though, is the gurgling noises, she and I have had many a Wookie conversation.
Last weekend, my lovely girls went to Peterborough (about 2 hours away) to visit Andrea's best friend. (“BFF” would be appropriate, since they've been friends since Kindergarten) By way of a little back-story, this friend – I'll call her Caitlin – is like a fertility avatar. She has three kids, two of which are multiples. After she'd come for a visit a little over a year ago, Andrea tested positive for Bambino. Months later, when we went to visit her, was the first time I felt the baby kick. Last Saturday, Andrea called me from there at 9:30AM to tell me that Cali had said “Mum.” Andrea would have questioned whether she'd heard properly, but Caitlin and her girls were there, looking at her with saucer-sized eyes, and then chanting “mum-mum-mum-mum” to Cali to try to get a repeat-performance out of her.
As much as I'm sorry to have missed it, I'm not surprised. Firstly, because Caitlin is like a lightning-rod for childhood development (did I mention that she's a teacher?). Secondly, Cali and
I had a little chat months ago. “Cali,” I said, “you're mom's really doing the lion's share of the work here, so it's only fair that you wait for her to be present for your first word. I'd like to be there too, but the important part is that mom's there, cool?”
Atta girl.
The first pleasant noise she made was cooing during a feeding, my Papa told us to look for this one, as it had been a favorite for him. Eventually, she learned to make excited noises; little squeals when she sees something that takes her fancy. This is how we knew that she'd come to recognize the dog. She then moved on to making ambiguous vowel noises at us, as though she was mimicking the conversations she watched. My favorite, though, is the gurgling noises, she and I have had many a Wookie conversation.
Last weekend, my lovely girls went to Peterborough (about 2 hours away) to visit Andrea's best friend. (“BFF” would be appropriate, since they've been friends since Kindergarten) By way of a little back-story, this friend – I'll call her Caitlin – is like a fertility avatar. She has three kids, two of which are multiples. After she'd come for a visit a little over a year ago, Andrea tested positive for Bambino. Months later, when we went to visit her, was the first time I felt the baby kick. Last Saturday, Andrea called me from there at 9:30AM to tell me that Cali had said “Mum.” Andrea would have questioned whether she'd heard properly, but Caitlin and her girls were there, looking at her with saucer-sized eyes, and then chanting “mum-mum-mum-mum” to Cali to try to get a repeat-performance out of her.
As much as I'm sorry to have missed it, I'm not surprised. Firstly, because Caitlin is like a lightning-rod for childhood development (did I mention that she's a teacher?). Secondly, Cali and
I had a little chat months ago. “Cali,” I said, “you're mom's really doing the lion's share of the work here, so it's only fair that you wait for her to be present for your first word. I'd like to be there too, but the important part is that mom's there, cool?”
Atta girl.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Understanding -- Are We There Yet?
For “U,” I'm listening to Undercover, Balance of Power. Ten points (of bragging rights) to anyone who remembers Undercover. (Featuring Ojo Taylor, Gym Nicholson, Sim Wilson, and Gary Dean Olson)
For “U,” I'd like to share some thoughts on Understanding. When I was 18, I understood Life, the Universe, and Everything. Now, at (barely) 36, I still understand plenty, but not nearly as much. Through my 20's I often thought that I knew more than the people around me. To be fair, my studious nature didn't hurt; I could quote more than many of those I was conversing with. Having more answers isn't conducive to humility!
Then, I met someone I knew from high school – not a friend, but we shared some classes. The crazy thing was, it was ten years later, and we were in BC, 3000 kms from the school we shared. It so happened that we had mutually-satisfying needs: he needed a roommate, and I needed a place. The co-habitation only lasted a few months, but it had a more profound affect than the years previous. He had a different understanding of Life, the Universe and Everything, because he had been studying from a completely different point of view.
I hadn't necessarily been asking the wrong questions, but I had been asking from the wrong assumptions. At that time, I learned that my understanding had come from certain paradigm, and began the mind-blowing process of seeing the world from a foreign understanding. Thanks Chad, I haven't been the same since!
Seven years ago (when I was 29) was the last time I got a violent snap-back in my understanding. I had learned so much, that I felt I'd surpassed the rest of my species (no shit; I really was that cocky!). Then I heard a song that echoed my “superior” understanding; a song that I'd heard many times, but the concepts hadn't registered. It occurred to me, rather violently, “Oh shit, these guys were in on these ideas the whole time...” Since then, whatever I've learned, through study or experience, I just assume that others have understood it before. I've given others more credit for their cleverness, and I've understood that I'm not the only one who can 'clue-in' to what's accepted as fact by the more mature.
For “U,” I'd like to share some thoughts on Understanding. When I was 18, I understood Life, the Universe, and Everything. Now, at (barely) 36, I still understand plenty, but not nearly as much. Through my 20's I often thought that I knew more than the people around me. To be fair, my studious nature didn't hurt; I could quote more than many of those I was conversing with. Having more answers isn't conducive to humility!
Then, I met someone I knew from high school – not a friend, but we shared some classes. The crazy thing was, it was ten years later, and we were in BC, 3000 kms from the school we shared. It so happened that we had mutually-satisfying needs: he needed a roommate, and I needed a place. The co-habitation only lasted a few months, but it had a more profound affect than the years previous. He had a different understanding of Life, the Universe and Everything, because he had been studying from a completely different point of view.
I hadn't necessarily been asking the wrong questions, but I had been asking from the wrong assumptions. At that time, I learned that my understanding had come from certain paradigm, and began the mind-blowing process of seeing the world from a foreign understanding. Thanks Chad, I haven't been the same since!
Seven years ago (when I was 29) was the last time I got a violent snap-back in my understanding. I had learned so much, that I felt I'd surpassed the rest of my species (no shit; I really was that cocky!). Then I heard a song that echoed my “superior” understanding; a song that I'd heard many times, but the concepts hadn't registered. It occurred to me, rather violently, “Oh shit, these guys were in on these ideas the whole time...” Since then, whatever I've learned, through study or experience, I just assume that others have understood it before. I've given others more credit for their cleverness, and I've understood that I'm not the only one who can 'clue-in' to what's accepted as fact by the more mature.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Teasing
Tarnation, I'm late again! No cookie for me!But I'm off today, so I can get “T” done, and get all caught-up. For “T,” I'm listening to Tool, Aenima. Probably their most accessible album, as they can be something of a “Musicians Band.”
Something I get a lot of fun out of is teasing. Oddly, I used to be a little too sensitive to it. For that reason, I can be pretty “Light Weight” with it, such as “I was feeling pretty handsome before you got here, now I just feel average.” If I'm more comfortable with the person, “How's that ointment working for ya? That rash still giving you grief?”
About a year ago, I had an opportunity to visit with an elementary school principal in his office (regarding a volunteer project that never got off the ground) and he had a poster outlining the difference between Bullying and Teasing. I can't remember the particulars, but I was quite impressed that it was addressed. Teasing among kids is normal social behavior, and can teach people to not take themselves too seriously, which I think is vital to mental/emotional health. Bullying has been getting a lot of press, especially since Columbine, and I'm really impressed that teasing was, in that instance, differentiated, and put into context.
The principal made a fascinating point: in any given sitcom, the comedy is insult-driven. Now we can argue about how appropriate this all is, but when we're done, it will still be so. I don't think it's something to fear, but let's keep it in context. I hope to raise my kids with a sense of what's appropriate, and a knowledge of time & place. (it's easy to still be idealistic when she's 7 months old :) )
THERE! YOU SEE!? I wrote that in my head as a natural extension of my style, and as I typed it, I realized that it illustrated my point nicely. By not taking myself too seriously, I can keep an eye on the goal, while keeping my capacities in perspective.
At work, I get to encounter a lot of kids, and I've seen plenty of reasons to be hopeful. Sometimes, I'll give them a bit of teasing, like “Wow, you must be a really great kid, 'cause that's a LOT of broccoli. When I was your age, I had to clean my room, AND shovel the driveway before I got that much broccoli.” Or, “What a great helper! Want a job? We've got a lot of floor to sweep when the store closes. Don't worry, we have a really big broom.” Kids generally take this pretty well, and have a little giggle. In general, I'm not too worried, and it's one of many things I'm keeping in mind as the role of parenting progresses.
Something I get a lot of fun out of is teasing. Oddly, I used to be a little too sensitive to it. For that reason, I can be pretty “Light Weight” with it, such as “I was feeling pretty handsome before you got here, now I just feel average.” If I'm more comfortable with the person, “How's that ointment working for ya? That rash still giving you grief?”
About a year ago, I had an opportunity to visit with an elementary school principal in his office (regarding a volunteer project that never got off the ground) and he had a poster outlining the difference between Bullying and Teasing. I can't remember the particulars, but I was quite impressed that it was addressed. Teasing among kids is normal social behavior, and can teach people to not take themselves too seriously, which I think is vital to mental/emotional health. Bullying has been getting a lot of press, especially since Columbine, and I'm really impressed that teasing was, in that instance, differentiated, and put into context.
The principal made a fascinating point: in any given sitcom, the comedy is insult-driven. Now we can argue about how appropriate this all is, but when we're done, it will still be so. I don't think it's something to fear, but let's keep it in context. I hope to raise my kids with a sense of what's appropriate, and a knowledge of time & place. (it's easy to still be idealistic when she's 7 months old :) )
THERE! YOU SEE!? I wrote that in my head as a natural extension of my style, and as I typed it, I realized that it illustrated my point nicely. By not taking myself too seriously, I can keep an eye on the goal, while keeping my capacities in perspective.
At work, I get to encounter a lot of kids, and I've seen plenty of reasons to be hopeful. Sometimes, I'll give them a bit of teasing, like “Wow, you must be a really great kid, 'cause that's a LOT of broccoli. When I was your age, I had to clean my room, AND shovel the driveway before I got that much broccoli.” Or, “What a great helper! Want a job? We've got a lot of floor to sweep when the store closes. Don't worry, we have a really big broom.” Kids generally take this pretty well, and have a little giggle. In general, I'm not too worried, and it's one of many things I'm keeping in mind as the role of parenting progresses.
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