Fatherhood & Other Common Terrors

My New Home.

2012-01-01T20:10:00.000-05:00

Hi! I've moved, so come on by to my new home at Somewhat Epic. Look forward to seeing you there, and I hope that you all had a great Christmas & New Years.

Up for a potential sh*t storm.

2011-12-16T06:07:00.002-05:00

It’s 5:45 in the morning, and I’m up. Boo. It didn’t mean to, but Chickerdoodles decided that she would be awake. This doesn’t happen very often, and I suppose that I should be grateful for that, but not at the moment.

Usually, I’d just let her fuss away until she settled herself down, but she has been getting her second-year molars, and she’s been fussy and fevery. Not a big deal, but she’s also been filling her diapers with Gusto! Oh yeah, changing her just won’t do; she’s had to be showered. Last Tuesday, “it” made its way down to her foot. I should really be sharing this story at high schools – “Now do you want to wear condoms?” One morning, she got up and she had been in such a condition for a while, and had a diaper rash that looked like a burn. It was down-graded to ‘red’ by the next day, but it was pretty awful for her.

Mostly though, all is well with her. She’s still too young to understand what’s going on with Christmas, but she’ll be pretty excited to unwrap presents, I think. I’ll keep you posted on that. I think that it’s only going to get better as we get to enjoy Christmas through her eyes. Right now though, we’re just re-decorating the tree as she pulls off the ‘treasures’ to run around the house with, and we repair and re-hang them. We usually put up the tree on the first Saturday of December, but it may change to the Monday before Christmas for a few years, since it’s getting maddening. Oh well, in ten days, it will all just be a fridge full of memories.

Another Triumph!

2011-12-05T21:26:00.000-05:00

That’s right; I snatched victory from the jaws of defeat, and got my 50 000 words for NaNoWriMo. On Sunday the 27th, I was already behind, and had had a particularly rough day at work. (It was my own fault – I let my energy get sapped by being pissed off at a co-worker.) I got a modest 1000 words that day. I was nearly ready to throw in the towel.

So, on Monday, I really knuckled-down after work and did a record-breaking 2700 words. Then, I had a couple glasses of wine (a writer’s vice if there ever was one), and thought, ‘I’m going to set-up my next scene,’ and got another 450 words done. It was starting to look like something that could be saved!

Tuesday, I usually have Daddy-Daughter-Day, but through the miracle of wife-taking-the-day-off-for-a-doctors-appointment, I was able to get a solid hour of writing in the morning, plus two-hour space between dinner and Bath/Bed procedure, in addition to nap-time, and after Chickerdoodles went to bed, I got a barn-burning, Rip-Snorting, Record-Breaking 4200 words in a day! By Wednesday the 30th, I only had 660 words, and, well, the story kinda tells itself after that.

I really owe this victory to my wife. Not only was she so understanding about the countless hours I stayed up late and got my word count in. She was also my biggest cheer-leader when I wasn’t keeping up, and kept my spirits up when I was feeling defeated by the size of the task.
I’m looking forward to getting back to Blogging now, and getting re-acquainted with you all. Thanks for your patience in my absence.

Before I finish, I have to share a Proud Papa moment. I was sitting on the couch, watching TV with Chickerdoodles on my lap, and I did something kinda loud and rude, as men are wont to do in their homes. She said “Puba!” (Toddler-ese for ‘Kuma’). That’s right, she blamed the dog! It was one of those moments that I dreamed of when I first learned that I was going to be a dad. I spent the next day at work, telling everyone who would listen, and many who wouldn’t. Then, about a week later, she farted, then blamed the dog. It was just as funny the second time.

Review of Melody Hill, by Jessica Bell

2011-11-07T22:19:00.001-05:00

As I mentioned last week, I got Jessica Bell’s album, Melody Hill; On the Other side. I was excited about this project long before I heard the album. Part of my interest was because Jessica is such a delightful & supportive Blogger (find her at The Alliterative Allomorph), but I was especially intrigued that she released an album as a soundtrack to her book. As I said last week: How cool is that!?

One of my pet-peeves is when I ask someone about a band, and they say “They’re good.” Well, The Beatles are good, and Rage Against The Machine are good, so you really haven’t told me anything. I really enjoyed Melody Hill, and I will try to give a more detailed review than “it’s really good.”

Having said that, it’s a really good album, but I am having one problem with this. I enjoy this type of acoustic-based singer/songwriter music with female vocals, but it’s been years since I’ve listened to it, so please forgive me if my comparisons are somewhat dated.

This music could easily be played in the same concert with Jewel or Alanis Morisette (being a little more rock-based than the former). I should think that either would be pleased to open for Jessica Bell. It also reminds me a little of Sinead O’Conner’s first album, The Lion and The Cobra, if anyone remembers that. I believe that I’m also hearing a hint of Portishead in there. Her voice alternates from wine-glass-sweet to a rich purr, with an indefinable accent occasionally teasing its way through.

While the music on Melody Hill seems to have been written with a one-person-with-acoustic-guitar in mind, (see: coffee house), it has been beautifully augmented with keyboards, drums, bass, and tasteful electric guitar. Some songs are more introspective and slow, like “If You Were Me,” or the lullaby-like “Selfish Heartbreak.” Then, we’re treated to the more upbeat and expressive “Don’t Break Me,” or “Love is a Bitch of a Wine (Whine).” “Famous,” featured on her book trailer, is simply haunting, and I’ve had to return to her Blog to hear it again after it ran through my head all day before Melody Hill was available.

Much of the lyrics are filled with longing and conflict, and if I didn’t know that this was a soundtrack, I’d be concerned for the artist’s marriage. There is no shortage of clever lyrics, and it’s clear that Jessica is a diligent student of the craft. I really enjoyed the phrasing of “I wanna wake to see you, pleased to see me” in “Wash Me Away” The pause in the singing gave it a surprising quality that printed word wouldn’t allow.

My only problem with this album is the order of the first two songs. Melody Hill starts with a six-minute introspective that escalates towards the end, and the second is more of an up-beat rock song. Typically, an album starts with the song that the artist would start a concert with; a Here-we-are-let’s-go! song. I haven’t read the book yet, so I don’t know how this song-order serves the soundtrack function, but I would have reversed this order.

I’d really recommend Melody Hill: On the Other Side, and I look forward to listening to it as I write for NaNowriMo (I use the future tense because I’m posting this eight days into NaNo, so I’m writing this on Halloween). Don’t forget about the Amazon Rush on October 11.

Insecure Writer's Support Group

2011-11-02T06:25:00.000-04:00

I’ll bet that I’m not the first to use the Insecure Writer’s Support Group Blogfest to write about NaNoWriMo. The obvious concern is that I won’t finish, but if I park my arse in the chair for 25 days out of the thirty, that’s 25 days I haven’t written yet, and thousands of words that aren’t on the page yet. On the other hand, I’ve told several people that I’m doing this, so I certainly don’t want to go back to them with my tail between my legs.
But I also want to use this time to let you know that I won’t be around much. I’m sure that you understand that most of my extra minutes will be spent writing. I’ve been trying to get up early to have Bloffee time before Chickerdoodles gets up. I have a feeling that I won’t be too creative in my first minutes of the day, so NaNo-writing may not work. I may feel that getting inspiration from my Blogging Buddies will serve me better, but no promises. I’ll also be staying up late to write, so I could forfeit that early time.
There will be two exceptions to the November NaNo Blogging Sabbatical. This is the first (that I’m writing on Saturday), and the other is a review of a project that I think is just brilliant.
Many of you know Jessica Bell, of The Alliterative Allomorph fame. On November 11th, she will be releasing her book String Bridge on Amazon. On October 24, she released the album “Melody Hill; On the Other Side” as a soundtrack for the book. How cool is that!? Many artists I know have a “major” and a “minor;” like musicians who write, or sculptors who draw, but I haven’t heard of this before. On Oct 8th, I will be posting a review of this album, now available on ITunes.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rv-hRMA0kqQ

NaNoWriMo, year two.

2011-10-26T06:55:00.000-04:00

I’ve been on the fence this year as to whether or not to participate in National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo). I did it last year; I didn’t finish my story, but I got to 50, 000 words. I had the greatest feeling of triumph as I danced around, listening to Aerosmith’s “Roadrunner,” singing “I finished NaNo, I finished NaNo…” on November 30th.

A couple of days later, it snowed. It occurred to me that if it had of snowed in November, the shoveling would have knocked me out for the night, and making my 1,667 words for the day would not have been possible. And wouldn’t you know it; someone told me that the Farmer’s Almanac had forecast snow for November.

When I shared these sentiments with my beautiful wife, she said “Why not? I mean how much could it snow in November?” By ph’kr, she’s right! It certainly could snow like a mofo, but more likely, we’ll get a couple inches, here and there.

When I decided to throw my hat in the ring, I got excited. Talk about following your gut; mine’s saying “buckle up, brother.” The thought of staying up for an extra few hours, with my music and my Starbucks – my buckle-down brew – it just seems like a great time!

But would it be cheating if I used the opportunity to finish my stalled work? Last NaNo, I wrote a prequel that has occupied the rest of my year. Now the original work has sat neglected for…well,long enough that a fresh approach will hold some surprises for me. I’m OK with it, since it’s a no-prize competition. The point of it being to inspire and build community.

Who else is doing NaNoWriMo this year? You can Buddy me as Will Burke93.

Breakthrough, by Steven Tremp.

2011-10-21T06:33:00.000-04:00

Say what you will about Dan Brown, he does give us a nice point-of-reference when describing stories. When I say that a story is a Dan Brown style mix of science and murder-mystery action story, I can give you a pretty good idea of what to expect.

Recently, I had the opportunity and joy to read Steven Tremp’s “Breakthrough,” and it can easily appeal to the same audience.

The protagonist is drawn into a murder-charge of the scientist who discovers how to create a stable wormhole, making him able to get in and out of a place without the inconvenience of vehicles or doors. With this discovery comes the conflict of whether this will be used by benevolent forces, like candy-grams, or by the highest-bidder delivering bombs to crowded stadiums.

Immediately, I was impressed with the action. Mr. Tremp was able to portray a detailed fight without stalling the action. He plainly did some study of martial arts to deliver this really well.

For those of us who have been reading Breakthrough Blogs, the affinity for science is no surprise. This was also included in the story without losing the reader in jargon. Whether or not you have an interest in the science of the time-space continuum, the part of the story that relies on it will be interesting.

The protagonist, Chase Manhattan, has a history of CIA-style missions, but what he’s done and who he worked for isn’t spelled out. While I hope this is revealed in later books, it isn’t necessary to the story, and gives a backstory-texture to the work, without the dreaded ‘info dump.’

Chase also relies on the help of his friends more than the average hero. This added some colorful characters to the story, andI liked the ‘team’ feel.

I highly recommend this book for any fan of a good action-and-intrigue story. It spans audiences, and in the end, it’s a good story, well told. I really look forward to the next installment of the Chase Manhattan series.

A Woman's Wrath.

2011-10-18T06:18:00.000-04:00

This is a very amusing and somewhat frightening story about my niece, Emma. It begins eight years ago, when she was five. She was at my parents place, just her and Papa. After she went to the bathroom, she wanted Papa to wipe her bum. This is a boundary that Papa just won’t cross.

She was stubborn, but so was he. In an act of compassion, he brought her a small table with a coloring book and crayons. Nana came home (I think it was four hours later) to find her asleep on the toilet, sprawled over her coloring.

Flash-forward eight years. Papa’s routine involves going straight to the can after getting home from work. You guessed it – there was no toilet paper. Eight years later, Emma finally got her revenge. As an act of compassion, she left him a coloring book. For the coup de gras, it was open to a picture of a donkey.

Tune in Friday, when I’ll have a review of Steven Tremp’s novel “Breakthrough.”

Happy Thanksgiving!

2011-10-10T11:45:00.000-04:00

This weekend, in Canada, it’s Thanksgiving. I think that we’re a month earlier than the US because of our earlier harvest season, but that’s just a guess. And why England doesn’t celebrate Thanksgiving is beyond me – if getting rid of boatloads of religious Fundamentalists isn’t cause for a national holiday…

It’s pretty easy to remember to be grateful when I’m getting two turkey dinners. One was here, so I can be grateful now that the house is so clean, but it was a busy week to get it into this shape. With Saturday being “Showtime,” it was especially busy, and we were in bed by 8:45. That’s right, we’re hardcore.

With a family like mine, it’s easy to be thankful. On the nights when I’m home at 6:30, I’m greeted by a super-happy dog, and a little girl saying “Daddy!” She’s really more interested in playing with my travel mug, but she’s happy to start playing with my eventually. My beautiful wife will also have coffee ready for me. For many people, this is a nice gesture. For us writerly types, it’s more like communion.

Andrea and I realized years ago that it was important to show our gratitude on a regular basis, especially for the small things. “Thanks for putting laundry on.” “Thank you for doing the dishes.” And the all-important “Thanks for getting up with Chickerdoodles this morning.”

About twenty years ago, when I was going through a particularly religious phase, I heard a song by the Christian band Petra called “Grateful Heart.” At that time, I prayed for a such a sense of gratitude, and I’ve been lucky to sustain that since then. Not always, but often enough to keep from getting all Goth and self-destructive.

I’m glad that we have Thanksgiving. Though most of us have lost touch with the farming cycles that birthed the holiday, it’s very beneficial to remember to count our blessings every now and then. It’s quant and a little hokey, but the truth is that an attitude of thankfulness can balance out some rough times. What’s the alternative; complaining? That just makes me miserable and unattractive.

"...but don't look like you're trying to write well...Idon't know; just write casual."

2011-10-04T20:12:00.000-04:00

How sad is this; I knew what I wanted to write for my second Insecure Writers Support Group post about three days after I posted the first one.

In a Podcast, I heard this discussed, and someone asked if writers were a particularly insecure bunch. The interviewee said “I don’t think so; writers just seem to have more of a license to express it” (I’d love to give credit, but I listen to so many, I’ve lost the details).

Since, in reality, all stories have already been told, the key to writers’ success is “a good story, well told.” I have a TON to learn about story-telling, and I’m OK with that, but it’s the Good Writing that concerns me.
Sometimes, it’s obvious that writers are trying too hard to do Good Writing Adjectives abound, and it seems that at least three thesauruses were harmed in the making of the book. I once read part of a self-published philosophical booklet by a local proprietor of a used CD shop. No lie, it sent me to the dictionary about five times per page. I don’t think I got more than 15 pages into it. I like it when a book introduces me to a new word or two throughout the story, and I like it best when I can get the gist of it from the context of its use.

So, I worry about is writing well, without looking like I’m trying to write well. There certainly is a place for literary fiction, and I enjoy it every now and then, but that’s not what I aspire to. Like any other writer, I love words, and like any other insecure person, I cover it with my vast intellect (my IQ is at least in the triple digits). So, it’s going to be a game of trying hard to get out of the story’s way. Does anyone else worry about trying too hard?

The Toddler Adventure Continues...

2011-09-29T07:17:00.000-04:00

This week, our little Snookerdoodles had her second Birthday. “Where did the time go”; it’s a cliché for a reason. When we first brought her home, I remember reading and commenting on Blogs with her sleeping in the crook of my left arm. Major life change, to be sure, but in hind sight, it was so easy then. Except for her winding-up and crying for 4-5 hours, starting at about 8:30 PM.

Now, she has words. She can actually converse, and it can be mind-blowing, after nearly two years of interpreting the pitch of her wails. The rude awakening came when we were driving somewhere, and speaking with Andrea, I referred to another driver as a ‘douche.’ From the back seat, I heard “Doos.”

We had her party last Saturday, with a ton of family and friends over. It went off without a hitch, after a week of cleaning and other preparation. Beforehand, however, we tried to put her down for a nap (a futile effort that day), and we were eating subs, discussing who would shower first, and we were interrupted with a THUMP! We got upstairs so fast, it was like we had been raptured there, and we found her out of her crib, on her hands and knees, and not too dazed to greet us: “Hi…”

She hasn’t escaped again since, but we’ll have her in a toddler bed really soon, believe you me. We also need to make up the other bedroom for her. And the projects march on.

A few days later, I had a pretty rude awakening. I her effort to master her environment, Chickerdoodles was climbing on the couch, and fell off. The bump on the head and the startling had her in tears, and I was doing the standard Daddy thing; cuddling, with the “Aw, Sweety…” I got the brainstorm to call the dog onto the couch, in the hope of making her feel better. I gotta admit, it kinda hurt my feelings when she preferred cuddling up to the dog in her grief.

This made me think; I’ve gotten into the habit of letting the TV occupy her while I get things done. This can be pretty handy, but I’ve got to put in the time with her too. So on my last day off, We played together more than we have been. We had a great day, and when it was time to put her to bed, she cuddled into me instead of just sitting on my lap for her bottle.

I’ve always known in theory that it’s the time invested that makes a good parent, but I forgot that in my daily routine. I’m sure I will again. But this week, I read the signs, and corrected myself, and hopefully, I can continue being aware of things like that in my home.

2011-09-19T21:37:00.000-04:00

As the big studios are trying to crank-out several Blockbuster Extravaganza’s per year, they are increasingly mining the past. This has often worked well, as was the case with Transformers and even The A Team.

Much of the audience approached these movies with a sense of hopeful nostalgia, and they weren’t disappointed. Well, I’m sure that many were disappointed; nerds are notorious for poo-poo-ing any efforts to revitalize a classic franchise, but that’s neither here nor there.

Which brings me to the colossal disappointment that was the G.I. Joe movie. To be fair, what did they do right? Well, I enjoyed the emphasis on Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow. And, there was some nice eye-candy. I also liked the origins-of-Cobra-Commander part.

How about the classic character of Scarlet? Known and loved for decades, they spent minutes on the character, and her “I-don’t-believe-in-emotions-because-they-aren’t-tangible” speech nearly made me throw my TV out the window. Really? I’m sure that only the most damaged High-Schoolers are buying into that bullshit dichotomy.

And how about those power-suits that the new recruits enjoyed? NOT NECESSARY! The GI Joe lore has quite enough to fill a movie, and make it exciting. I’m not 100% sure that there weren’t these Power Suits, but it just came off like a visual gimmick. Granted, it did work as such, but it would have been better in another movie.

And WTF with the Baroness turn-coating at the end? They were plainly setting up a series (or a sequel, at the very least). Having a primary antagonist switching sides at the end just did NOT make sense!

Like a lot of people my age, I have a soft spot for G.I. Joe, and I was very disappointed in this movie. Did they even test-screen it with an appropriate age group? It seems that they were thumbing their noses at us, and trying out some new special effects tricks. If that was the case, good for them, but please, do NOT tack a well-established name on it.

And that’s my spleen-venting for the week. Thanks for hanging in there.

Spreading Yourself -- When Is Another Blog A Good Idea?

2011-09-12T07:12:00.000-04:00

What a turn out for the Insecure Writers Blog Hop! Great idea, Alex. I already know what I want to write about for October; just goes to show what a rich vein of inspiration our insecurities can be :P

I had a bunch of people start following me that I was already following from the Crusader Challenge in January, so if you aren’t seeing me pop-up as a new follower, that’s why. On the same note, check to see if you may be double-following me. (I’ve done that. No sense in having more in the Blog Roll than you need, eh?)

When I go to visit commenters, I click on the name on the comment and go through the Profile. I’ve noticed that several of you have more than one Blog. How do you decide to start another platform? And, where do you find the time? I’ve played with this idea from time to time, but budgeting the time would be tricky. Lately though, I’ve been getting up an hour before Chickerdoodles a few days a week, and this works well for Bloffee time. I’m really not in a writing headspace at this time of day (6:30-7:30), but it’s prime for visiting.

I also get more ambitious at this time of year. I love autumn, and in September, I still get this back-to-school, time-to-buckle-down feeling. Time to ride this wave, eh?

So do you have a second (or more) Blog? Why, and how?

Pissing People Off

2011-09-07T09:44:00.000-04:00

For the Insecure Writers post, our fearless Ninja Leader Alex wrote a thoughtful piece on alienating people, and fear of losing friends.

I recently finished George Carlin’s memoir, “Last Words.” A major theme was how he broke away from the conformity of the status quo. He is abrasive, and proud of it, and he made a good living at it. There are plenty of Blogs that also get abrasive and offensive, and are very popular.

In the Blogging circles I frequent, however, we’re pretty nice. Even when asked, I find it hard to be critical of other Bloggers’ writing. But there have been instances where I’ve read posts where political opinions just rub me the wrong way. In such cases, I’ll put my two cents in, but respectfully. I am figuratively in their house, after all.

On the other hand, in my own space, I’m tempted to go-off on some political stuff sometimes. That wasn’t the purpose I had on setting up the Blog, so I usually don’t, but I sometimes think that something is important enough to bring up. This could get offensive, and of course, I want people to like me. But I think that people (and Society at large) can grow from needing to face difficult questions. Half a century ago, some difficult questions were being raised about Civil Rights, and a LOT of people were upset by this. Many died in this struggle, but now, there a are a lot fewer people against these rights, and there have been generations who treat Blacks, Hispanics, Homosexuals and Women the same as themselves. We have a long way to go, but celebrating the progress helps us progress further.

The big take-away message from the George Carlin book, for me, was how important it is to be genuine. Is it more important for me to be genuinely provocative, or supportive? Honestly, I think that unity should be the end-game, but without provocation, we tend to stagnate. I guess that it’s all about time-and-place. I’m thinking that I should keep this yardstick handy, and to keep in mind that being phony will make me miserable.

Pea Issues

2011-09-06T13:19:00.002-04:00

I just had such a clever moment, I had to put it on the Internet. As Chickerdoodles was eating her lunch, I excused myself to the washroom. Since she’s nearly two, I keep my ears open, and do what I gotta do, but rarely for more than a minute. When I returned, I found that she had gotten a pea up her nose. I mean, really up there. An average sized pea looked like a small pea, as much of it was around a corner.

I had a similar problem with half a Cheerio, but it wasn’t nearly so far up; it was barely out of reach. I covered her mouth and other nostril, and the cereal just floated out on a wave of air and snot. Problem solved.

I tried this with the pea, but it was clearly futile; the larger item wouldn’t simply float out. Plus, she was looking at me fearfully, and I decided that covering her airways for an extended period of time could cause quite the emotional trauma.

Needing another plan, I tried to get her to mimic me, blowing aggressively through my nose. She found this quite amusing, but not very helpful. I sneeze would have been great, but inducing one would be tricky.
The next best thing was laughing. My next plan was to take her to the living room and tickle her. That got it! After about a minute, the offending vegetable was safely on the floor! Yay, Me!

Have you ever had to get something out of a child’s nose or ear? I’d love to hear your stories, just in case tickle-therapy doesn’t work next time.

How DidThey Cope Without Pee Wands?

2011-09-01T20:13:00.000-04:00

In this wonderful age, it isn’t difficult to find out if a woman is “in a family way.” These lovely bathroom wands will clear up the question right quick.

But how did they determine pregnancy in previous generations? Did they wait three month, and if there was still no “cycle,” they figured they knew their condition? That’s one option. I understand that there was a procedure involving a rabbit (from what I’ve pieced together from an Aerosmith song and an episode of M*A*S*H*, the poor fellow didn’t survive the procedure). But since not everyone had access to a rabbit, or had to keep their rabbits for breeding and stew, some of our clever ancestors had to develop another method.

If a man suspected that his wife (or other “Lady Friend”) was expecting, he would eat a clove of garlic. After an hour, he would return home. If he opened the door to find the lady in question had a disgusted/mortified look on her face (the look usually reserved for when one farts at her parent’s dinner table, or in Church). If the man was greeted with “Sweet Mother of GOD, You STINK!” the mystery was solved. Time to build, or dust off, the cradle.

The Hating Game

2011-08-25T21:01:00.000-04:00

Ya know how people always say “I wouldn’t be caught dead reading that kind of book,” or “I wouldn’t touch that kind of movie with a ten foot pole.” For my wife, it’s western movies. I don’t mind, because she enjoys comic book movies with me (which I prefer over westerns, anyway.) I know, I’m a lucky, lucky man.

For me, it’s obvious; I don’t have much time for romances. I don’t like the obvious formulas, the shuddering caresses and trembling limbs…pu-lease! No disrespect to the authors who do this, but I’ve never been able to elicit such reactions from the ladies (I was more often the “Special Friend.” Ladies, do us a favor and retire this term), so it all seems pretty far-fetched to me. Give me a space ship or a magic ring any day.

Twice this year, I ventured into this strange territory. I recently finished Blog Master Tali Roland’s “The Hating Game.” Honestly, I quite liked it. The premise is that the protagonist, Matti Johns, winds up on a dating-based reality show when she finds herself in financial trouble.

I found that this hard-as-nails business woman was revealed gradually, as the depth and layers of this ball-busting bitch are fleshed-out through the story. Against the background of an awkward and uncomfortable television setting, she is pitted against production staff with varying degrees of ethics, and struggles to hold her own during the twists that we’ve come to expect in reality shows.

While a bitter protagonist can be hard to like, she is nicely tempered by her more sensitive best friend, Jess. I also found that the failed fling described in the first chapter was so amusing that I could relate to her ill-feelings towards any romantic involvement. The garlic farmer was also a well thought-out character, and well-placed in the story.

Being set in London, there were a few references to stores or neighborhoods that I was not familiar with. However, the context of the comments gave me the gist of the type of places she was referring to, so it wasn’t very different than the fictional locales I’m used to.

While the romantic elements are dominant, I found that the story was strong, and it was easy to stay interested. I’m happy for the chance to support my Blogger buddies, but I’m happier still when I’m enjoying a good story in the process. I’d highly recommend this book, even if you’re like me and do not naturally gravitate towards romantic stories. Cheers, Tali, on a job well done.

Cassastar -- Well Worth the Read

2011-08-22T23:28:00.000-04:00

I finally got to read Cassastar by Alex Cavenaugh. It’s kind of A Top-Gun-meets-Star-Wars story, and I really enjoyed it. I found it to be a well-written story, and when it seemed ready to wrap-up, it took another turn and carried on. The characters were well-developed and three-dimensional, but there wasn’t much time spent on the enemies. The focus of the conflict was internal to the characters, and between them within the flight school.

Personally, the only real disappointment was that the invading aliens weren’t introduced until about half way through the book. I can understand that there’s still military training in peace time, but I would have liked an idea of their political climate earlier in the book. However, I liked how the protagonist’s (Byron) special skill was revealed later in the book, making it a colourful surprise.

The ending could be a tidy wrap-up for a stand-alone book, or it could lead to a series, and I would like to see that universe expand.

All in all, most of us love and support Alex because he’s a great Blogger who supports the community, but set that aside. Cassastar is a great book, and I’d recommend it on its own merit. If I didn’y like it, I wouldn’t have even mentioned that I’d read it. “If you don’t have something nice to say…” and all that rot.

A Quick Word To The Published Bloggers

2011-08-22T07:05:00.000-04:00

I find that reading a book from a fellow Blogger is different than other books. With my Blogger buddies, I’m used to reading their thoughts on the craft, so when I read their books, I’m much more aware of what’s going into the book. So far, I’ve read two books from be colleagues, and both have been very enjoyable.

Unfortunately, when I posted my review of Alex Cavenaugh’s “Cassastar,” I was having issues getting my new computer to play well with Blogger, so it wasn’t possible for people to leave comments, so I’m going to re-post that one tomorrow (Tuesday, the 23rd). Then, on Friday, I’ll tell you what I thought of Tali Roland’s “The Hating Game.”

If you have something available on Kobo, let me know. I’m happy to support the publishing Bloggers, but I won’t say if I got it or not, because I want to publish honest reviews, but I don’t want to get on here and say that I didn’t like someone’s work. If we were a thick-skinned lot, we’d be in movies, eh?

How Much "Like"-ing is too much?

2011-08-15T06:49:00.000-04:00

I've noticed that when I'm on my Facebook homepage, the right side features suggestions on things you can “Like.” I'm wondering how liberal I should be with my Likes.

For example, some of my friends Like “Movies.” Not any particular movie, just movies in general. One of these friends has ambitions to be a professional video editor, so her choice makes sense. Or, if Alex, who regularly reviews movies had such a Like, it makes sense. But the other day, Led Zeppelin was suggested. Of course, I like Led Zeppelin, who doesn't? (Well, I can imagine that there are those who aren't too fond of Robert Plant's voice. His “passion” can get a little shrill.) But they aren't in my top 5, or even my top 10.

I think that my discretion is based on a conversation with a friend of mine. I was checking out his band's page on MySpace, and among his “Friends” was Metallica and Marilyn Manson. When I asked him about his “Friends”, he said that it has more to do with illustrating your influences. “Aaah...” (cue: light bulb) From there, I figured that I should pick my associations sparingly.

I'm not sure if anyone checks those things, but I'll bet that my friends occasionally get messages saying that “Will Likes Family Guy, would you like to become a fan?” Hey, no problem. But if I Liked Weezer because it popped up, and I had just been grooving on Buddy Holly, my friends might think that I was into garage band college music, and this simply isn't the case. Seriously, if you're not gonna turn it up and call it Rock, great! Or, lighten it up and call it Jazz. Either option is great, but the middle ground loses what's great about both. But I digress...

Many Bloggers have Facebook page that we can Like, and well, that’s just sharing the love. Still, it’s genuine, and for some reason I didn’t want to be associated with the Blog on Facebook, I wouldn’t. Fortunately, it hasn’t come up.

What do you think? Am I being miserly, or is it better to be freer with my affections?

Another Fashion Tragedy

2011-08-06T17:16:00.000-04:00

As parents, we often fear that we’re doing irreparable damage to our kids (Thank you, Freud!). It seems that most parents have fits of grief over how brutal a job they have done, especially when their kids are older (as in, adult).

Kids rarely feel this way. I mean, I can certainly look back at things that my folks could have done better, but the actual hang-ups that I inherited are few and far between. Asides from real abuse, kids rarely grow up to grieve their parents’ shoddy parenting.

I recently encountered such “damage” in a friend. Like much of the continent, we have had some brutal heat this summer. It was so hot, our immigrant friends from India were getting uncomfortable. The aforementioned friend (not an immigrant from an Equatorial region) was wearing jeans.

I had to ask, because she isn’t the type to be self-conscience about her body – she’s a part time model. As it happens, when she was a wee lass, her mom made her wear purple corduroy capris. Now, whenever she wears capris, she still gets that cringing feeling. OK, that makes sense, and we all grieved for her misfortune.

I haven’t had any such fashion tragedies, how about you?

What do you think..?

2011-08-01T21:43:00.000-04:00

Many of you will have heard of the “Slut Walk.” It started in Toronto when a rape victim was told by a police officer that she could have avoided it if she had been dressed more modestly. It doesn’t take a genius to see that this was the wrong thing to say, mostly due to its insensitivity. Enough women took umbrage with this that they started the Slut Walk, kind of like a civil rights march, or a Pride Parade, but for women who want to dress as provocatively as they please without judgement.

I’ve got mixed feelings on this. I think that women have every right to present themselves as they like, and that men should be gentlemanly and respectful. However, expecting all men to be so respectful is a pipe dream, and women should not be naïve to that.

Last night, we had one Andrea’s friends over for drinks on the patio, so I took the opportunity to get their opinions. It got lively. “It’s like they want the power without taking responsibility for the reactions they elicit.” Well, yeah.

Another point was that the sexual triggers for men are obvious. However, there’s a mystery to feminine sexuality. Even in our candid conversation, the best I could get from them was “it depends on our mood.” So when men see a display of sexuality that is familiar, our immediate association is that they displayer is aroused, and trying to be arousing.

Or let’s look at it from another angle: Would you wear a jersey from a Swedish football team? It sends a very clear message, and anyone who is familiar with the team would approach you, wanting to discuss the players, coaches, and recent games. Or how about a BB King T-shirt? People would approach with their stories of seeing him in ’82, and the hipsters with their “I mostly like his older stuff.” These are graphic examples of how one’s clothes elicit reactions.

On the flip side, women’s attire does not create a rapist. You’re not going to hear about a man who left his house, thinking of nothing deeper than an episode of Cheers, until he saw a woman wearing handkerchief-sized shorts and displaying three inches of cleavage, then thought, “Well, I was just gonna pick up some Fritos and smokes, but I think I’ll rape her first.” Rapists are predators, and they target the isolated and the infirm. If a woman is radiating power in any sense, a predator will be discouraged, but a woman huddling into herself and separated from the crowd may be a more likely target, whether she’s wearing club wear, or slacks and a hoodie.

As always, I’m eager to hear what others think on the topic, so don’t be shy! Display your naked opinions in all of their God-given glory.

Is This Thing On?

2011-07-13T06:20:00.002-04:00

Just a quick check to see if this is up -- can you click through from your Reader? Can you comment?

2011-07-09T10:25:00.002-04:00

AAARG! My comments still aren’t working! My “Publish” button isn’t working, and the only way I get the post up is to go to my “Saved Drafts” page and “publish” the checked selections. When I go the regular “Publish” button, I get a little window in the bottom left that says "Javascript:void(0)" What does that mean?!? If anyone knows, could you email me at willburke93@gmail.com I think that it's related to my Comments issues. Thanks a heap!

Vacation; The Awful First Week

2011-07-09T10:13:00.002-04:00

We just had our annual vacation to celebrate our anniversary (4 years), and it was great, as usual. It didn’t start out that way though. A week beforehand, Andrea got a drive-through burger, and by the next day, had such an atrocious pain in her middle, she was wondering if her gall-bladder had really come out! She was afraid that she may be having a heart attack. When she finally did go to the Emergency Room, she stayed long enough to have her blood taken, but a bunch of ambulances showed up, and she got fed-up and went home. I mean, how many times have we waited for 5-6 hours to get trained instruction on the proper use of Tylonol & Advil!

About an hour later, the hospital called to say that the blood-work showed a serious problem with her liver function. As it happened, at the last minute before her all-bladder surgery(about three weeks before), a stone escaped into her bile duct, causing inflammation, etc. Andrea said that the pain was worse than child-birth. A friend at work – Jen – has also had the procedure, and said that she would rather have ten more kids than to go through that again.

Jen is an assistant manager in my department, and someone who I have a solid report with. I was really glad when I got ahold of her when I called to ask for the time off. I had a week of vacation that I hadn’t booked, and she was able to give me the time right then to be with Andrea in the hospital, while taking up the slack with Chickerdoodles.

Andrea is well now, and we were able to enjoy our time at Little Banff RV Park with our dearest friends. More on that soon, because my word count is already getting up there, so ‘Toodles’ for now!

My first book review

2011-06-22T21:41:00.001-04:00

Week off, but not really.

2011-05-30T22:07:00.001-04:00

I'm at the hospital. Not for me, but I'm waiting for my wife to be discharged from gallbladder surgery. It's just a day surgery, and I was supposed to wait at home for them to call and let me know that she was ready, but I got impatient. Well, that's not entirely true; I got a call, and when I tried to pull the phone off of my belt, it slipped and the battery pack fell off. In a panic, I ran upstairs to the other extension, but missed the call. I got the number that called, but it wouldn't connect to anyone (what I reached sounded like dialing. Odd...) So I called the hospital, and the person I spoke to didn't think that the phone number was theirs. That wasn't a certain enough answer for me, so I packed up a few things (my netbook, Ipod, and three books) and came down.
She's not ready. Fortunately, Chickerdoodles is with Gramma, so I don't have to co-ordinate her and a thoroughly anesthetized wife.
That's how far I got before the volunteer told me that she was ready. By “ready”, they meant awake but waiting for the doctor to officially discharge her. While the nurses and volunteers at our local hospital were as delightful and efficient as always, the doctors are stretched too thin, so waiting for them to come and sign-off can be like waiting for a long weekend on Thursday. They're doing their best, but there seriously needs to be something done about the availability of doctors in Ontario. But I digress.
Andrea is recovering well. I thought that she'd be a mess, but she bounced back like the trooper she is. Of course, with four small incisions in her abdomen, there will be no lifting, including said Chickerdoodles. Fortunately, I was able to book the week off, so I can do the lifting, and the nursing. Also fortunately, she is twenty months old, so I only have to nurse my wife. Try and shake that visual – you're welcome. Hopefully I can get some other things done with my week off, but honestly, my standards are set pretty low.

The worst part about having toddlers...

2011-05-18T06:05:00.001-04:00

There are a few things that I've noticed since the toddler TV shows have taken residence in our home. The first may very well be the worst part about having kids. The jingly theme songs have a way of sticking in one's head. Now that I'm working in the parking lot, I don't have the distractions to keep them at bay, so I can be tormented for an unreasonable amount of time.

Barney isn't half as annoying as I've been led to believe. Of course, the first episode I saw had him saying how much he loved books. That fellow's alright with me.

My opinion of Bert & Ernie is the same as it was when I was five. What else could one infer from a pair of guys who share a room and argue a lot? They act like brothers. That's it. So if those who see otherwise could please retire the homophobic bullocks now, that would be super.

But those guys in the tights? They are certainly wearing cups. That shape is just to regular to be naturally occurring, no matter how much they avoid manscaping.

There's something I found really exciting. The Cat In The Hat is voiced by Martin Short. Said Cat was also played by Mike Meyers (that move was great, by the by). Jim Carrey played Horton (who heard a Who) and the Grinch. Have you spotted the pattern? It takes a Canadian to properly portray Dr Seuss. Does that make up for our action-hero shortage? Well, we make up for it in our “Love Scenes.” Those are hard to beat, this side of the Atlantic, anyway.

Is This How We Got Here?

2011-05-04T06:55:00.001-04:00

I'm reading an interesting book right now, but I'm not sure what to make of it. It's “The 12th Planet” by Zecheriah Sitchen. I've been wanting to read it for years, but there was always other books; you know how it goes.

It's the first in a series, and it's researched from translations of the Sumerian tablets. He interprets the tales of the gods as alien settlers in prehistory. Don't laugh, it really is a viable theory. The problem is, he is really sold on his interpretation of the tablets. He is always using phrases like “It's obvious that this means...” or “There can be no doubt..,” and not just a few times. Such phrases appear every couple of pages. I'm not sure why this bothers me, but I would have liked to see a healthy dose of cautious skepticism.

This is a little harsh to say, but it really looks like he is reading the Sumarian texts in such a way as to make them fit his theories. This is like calling a Believer a “Heretic,” but that's how it reads. I did kinda pick up this book hoping to verify what I wanted to believe, so it made me that much more skeptical, guarding myself against being swept away into a pet theory. I'm hoping that one of you has read more of his work, and if you could set me straight, that would be fabulous.

I'm Not As Clever As I Thought, But There Is Good News

2011-04-28T11:04:00.002-04:00

As for the update on the Victoria Sinclair interview, she is a very busy lady. Asides from being a news anchor, she has another side business, and tax time has proved to be more trouble than anticipated. We will have an interview up as soon as possible.

As for “X,” I thought I was really clever in making up a word. Honestly, I still think that it's clever, but nut as original as I'd thought. I also made up the word “Bibliophile” – book lover. I wasn't the first on that either.

The word I created for “X” was “Xenophile.” A xenophobe is one who fears outsiders, so “Xenophile” is meant to be a love of outsiders; I'd rather talk to someone from a different part of the world than hear yet another local bitch about the weather and the Maple Leafs. (the hockey team, not the foliage.) I find it fascinating how growing up in a different part of the world will flavor someone's perspective. I like talking to first-generation Canadians, because they have one foot on the Old World, but are familiar enough with my frame of reference to communicate the differences and similarities.

Then I was watching a Harry Potter “Extra” introducing the new characters. Remember Luna Lovegood, the quirky blonde with the dreamy voice? Guess what her dad's name is. Oh yeah, Xenophilious. Since I've read the books and seen the movie, the word must have taken root and re-emerged, making me think of how very clever I was.

On a more positive note, Andrea was home with Chickerdoodles last night, and the wee'un started playing with the front of her pants. The following conversation ensued:

A: Do you have to pee-pee?
C: Pee-pee.
A: Do you want to use the potty?
C: Yeah.

Note: she says “yeah” to anything you ask her, that's how I know that she's a Soundgarden fan. But, lo and behold, she has now left her first little puddle in the potty! A new day has dawned.

Frightfully Sorry

2011-04-26T18:33:00.001-04:00

Hey Folks! I know that I promised you an interveiw today, but we seem to be having a hard time connecting. It will be up here as soon as I can get ahold of Victoria.

I Read A Romance.

2011-04-22T07:43:00.004-04:00

Harlequin has begun a new imprint that mixes Romance with Reality (have they exhausted their expansive repertoire?) Called “True Vous.” They take people's real-life romance and from an extensive questionnaire, they novelize it. So, if you're involved in a stellar romance relationship with an intriguing back-story, you may have an avenue to get your story told.

That's just what a friend of mine did. Her story of how she met her husband and their whirlwind romance spanning several years and half of Southern Ontario.

I read it, and honestly, it's a romance. The first I've ever read, so I have no frame of reference. After the first 50 pages or so, I was able to get into the story since it got past the trembling-caresses-and-voices-husky-with-desire part. Then there were the actual “love scenes.” I skimmed over those. They are friends of mine, and there are certain visuals that I just don't need. I got especially interested when Andrea & I were mentioned. That's right, your truly has a cameo in this book. Andrea has been friends with her for years, and she and her husband have become dear friends of mine as well.

I's called “Victoria's Got A Secret.” If I tell you what the secret is, it won't be much of a spoiler, since it's on the back-cover blurb. She is Victoria Sinclair, the first anchor of the Naked News. This isn't your average internet undressing affair; it's a classy, intelligent program. On Tuesday, as part of the A-Z Blogfest, I will be having an interveiw with Victoria Sinclair right here, so be sure to tune in!

The New Focus

2011-04-21T12:04:00.001-04:00

Yesterday, I posted about how the Occultism of a hundred and twenty years ago reflected psychology. Modern books and documentaries reflect the new science of our day, and I'll bet that you know just what I'm talking about.

Have you seen “The Secret”? For those who haven't, it relies on the Hermetic “Law of Attraction” to make the point that we all attract our situations to ourselves through our thoughts and moods. Honestly, it doesn't serve as more than a conversation starter. It's a gateway to esoteric topics. A much better movie along those lines is “What The Bleep Do We Know?” staring Marley Matlin. There's a lot more focus on the science.

Quantum theories of the last 50 years have focused on the connectivity of all things, with experiments on split atoms and how one will react to the stimulus of the other, even over a significant distance. There is also the phenomenon how the smallest units of matter that are observable will be either a particle (matter) or a wave (energy). The crazy part is that it becomes matter when it's directly observed, making it merely an energy pattern when it isn't observed, like the tree falling in the forest that no one hears.

How this relates to Occultism is that we can alter reality with our focus. Therefore, by being aware and deliberate in our focus, we can be better able to influence our circumstances. But here's the rub: it takes a lot of work to be that aware. One method I've heard is to choose a daily activity and just be present. For example, when I'm shaving and brushing my teeth, I focus on the feel of the razor, the smell of the shave gel, how the temperature of my skin changes when I splash the water on my face, etc. After doing this for awhile, I'll notice throughout my day how random thoughts pop up, and spot patterns, both helpful and detrimental.

This has already gone on longer than I meant to, so I'll go post now. Tomorrow, I have an announcement about my first interview, and whether you know her or not, I have no doubt that many of you will be interested!

Early Psychology, or Much Older?

2011-04-19T20:17:00.001-04:00

Like many religious/spiritual movements, Occultism manifested as a reflection of it's time.

The Occult movement of the late 1800's and early 1900's borrowed heavily from psychology. When they wrote of learning astrology, it was with the understanding that planetary associations were models of psychological traits and states. Indeed, everything that they studied – qaballa, alchemy, or tarot was understood through this filter.

One of the primary aspirations of the rituals was knowledge and conversation of your holy guardian angel. This was interpreted as coming into contact with one's inner genius, or higher self.

At the time of the Spiritualist trend, psychology was a new discipline, and like all things new, it was attractive to intellectuals. At the time, many of the British educated class found a lot charm in Occultism. It related to the Spiritualist trend, without the stigma of the mediums and palm-readers. The latter would have been seen as soothsayers to the superstitious, whereas occultism was seen as a self-driven act of psychic ascension.

Since the Occult sciences fit so well into the psychological models, it's easy to believe that earlier practitioners really had an understanding of the human mind, and the manipulation of it. But this is what I want to believe, so I'm inclined to be extra-critical, so as not to get emotionally swept away by facts that may or may not fit the beliefs. At the end of the day, Alistair Crowley said it best: “The truth of the myth is not so important as the affect the story has on the believer.”

Another Scary Word.

2011-04-19T07:48:00.001-04:00

At the beginning of the A-Z Challenge, I wrote of a commonly misunderstood word, “cult.” (Special thanks to Dark Mother Goddess for the extra clarification) Even more misunderstood is the term “occult.”

It means “Hidden.” It really wasn't meant to be any more than that. In the late 1800's and the early 1900's, the “occult sciences” came into vogue with all kinds of “Spiritism.” These things included seances, near-death stories, and all kinds of related things. Most of the seances were faked with table-shaking and helpers that created effects. Oddly, the most famous whistle-blower on these charlatans was Harry Houdini. Really, who better to sniff-out such tricks?

The trend did allow for some great books to be published by the likes of Dion Fortune and Israel Regargie. Much of the Mystery School tradition was laid bare and the rituals became known, and their purposes. Much of the Masonic-based ritual that was exposed was shown to be solid methods of self-improvement. With the use of ritual, the conscience mind – the part that's always chattering away – is by-passed, and the goals of surpassing your base nature is ingrained into the deeper parts of the initiates mind.

This is the nature of Occultism. To condition your mind with what you choose, and not what's dictated by your native culture.

Occultism has been misused for mind control through isolation and sleep-deprivation by all kinds of dangerous cults. If anyone you know is in a group that encourages late nights, early mornings, and a lack of communication with family, STRANGER DANGER!!! There are bad guys that use occultism, but they also use electricity and toasters.

Dark side of the coin

2011-04-17T18:49:00.001-04:00

Yesterday, I was discussing with my wife and our friend Michelle how I had to do “N,” and I was a little tapped for ideas. In unison, they said “Narcissistic.” Time for some soul-searching, methinks.

But enough about me (See! They don't know what they're talking about). One of the most important things to get right in fiction is the nemesis. If the hero isn't sufficiently challenged, they aren't very heroic, are they.
Let's take the Joker. I've heard his motives described as chaos for chaos' sake – pretty two-dimensional, but he's such an eccentric and unpredictable character that we like to see him succeed from time to time.

One of my favorite's was Magnito from the X-Men. He was friendly with a protagonist, Xavier, and his motives were understandable. (having seen his parents hauled-off by Nazis, he was deeply suspicious of the government's treatment of Mutants, and fostered an uprising. The villains weren't bad for the sake of being bad, they were scared and defensive, and who can't relate to that?)

Of course, if I didn't mention Darth Vader, you may think that this was plagiarized or guest-hosted. In the first movie, he pretty-much got by with being a big, dark, raspy robot/monster. His motives of “retrieving those plans” served the episode, but not the character, but he mirrors the hero in his access to magic (there aren't many Force-users in their world) and magical weapons (there seems to be three people in existence with Light Sabers; two by the end of the movie).

Who are your favorite Nemesis', and why?

Misconceptions

2011-04-16T13:18:00.001-04:00

Asides from the cold weather and bi-annual elections, this is something we Canadians need to put up with. I'm curious as to whether other cultures and countries find this as well.

In the two instances where The Simpsons portrayed Canada, they drew from the encyclopedia of cliches. (for the younger readers, and encyclopedia is a collection of books that served as an Internet version 0.5) But that's a cartoon, and it supposed to be ridiculous.

If you caught the last episode of Bones, you may have seen the Canadian forensic podiatrist. True to form, he was mild-mannered and non-confrontational. Now, I am much the same, until I can argue in an academic way among friends, but my wife was nearly crawling through the screen to set those producers straight. There are plenty of Canadians who will pick a fight, and I went to high school with way too many of them.

My least favorite, however would have to be Rodney McKay from Stargate Atlantis. Always sulking and complaining, all with a Canadian flag on his uniform. What really frosts me about this is that the show is produced in Canada.

How about you? Are there national stereotypes that piss you off?

My Legacy

2011-04-15T21:32:00.001-04:00

This one will be a little easier, more of an opinion than research.

It's only natural to consider one's legacy. When I was younger, I wanted to inspire people to consider the big questions. What is the nature of belief and our Creator? What are our leaders really up to (I read a LOT of conspiracy books)? And my personal favorite, What happened before our recorded history? I figured that if I made people consider these things, that my presence mattered.

I'll bet that you can guess how that worked out. Some people may occasionally like to bounce these ideas around, maybe over a few beers, but most liked their comfort zones for their day-to-day lives. Even the “free thinking” crowd (those who pass on de left hand side) could talk in circles for hours, but wound up back at their video games before long.

That's one reason I turned to writing. I can address these things in a fictionalized context, and either people respond, or they just enjoy a story. Either way, I've enjoyed presenting the ideas, and if I've entertained some people, well, there's something of a legacy.

In my day to day life, I deal with hundreds of people a day. Most of those interactions are pleasant, and if I can make someone laugh, I've spread a little joy in the world, and what more could I ask for than that?

As a parent, I don't consider it my childrens' responsibility to live out my dreams. I expect that they will find what's important to them, and live out their ambitions. I may feel differently when they're older, but today, I fully expect them to grow up to be autonomous. That's how I was raised, and my generation, and a few that preceded us, think that way in the Western World.

What do you consider to be your legacy?

Kaballah

2011-04-15T06:44:00.002-04:00

Now, here's a tricky one. There is so much to Kaballah that it's hard to sum it up.
Firstly, there are two main branches: the orthodox Jewish version focusing on their holy books (which is popular with the California crowd) and the more English version In 1888, some London Freemasons formed the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn. Much of their work was based on the French researcher from thirty years previous, Eliphas Levi. They associated the Sepherot (“Emanations.” the circles) with the classical planets and numbered cards of the Tarot, and the Pathe between them with the mystical meanings of the Hebrew alphabet, and the Trump Cards of the Tarot.

The top sphere is the primordial energy – everything before it's anything. The bottom sphere is the manifest world; all that is perceived with the five senses. The remaining eight are the steps it takes to get form and definition.

The right side is the active “Male” side, and the left, the passive “Female” side. I effect, this can be seen as a complicated Yin Yang. In practice, I see this as an idea going through the stages of testing that it takes to become a useful product. For example, when writing, the right side is the brainstorming and being inspired (Force), while the left is the actual writing (Form).

In Blogging, it would be the posts that are the active/productive side, and reading and commenting are the receptive part. The more I participate in the community, the more visits I get, and the more inspired I am.

It took me months to get my head around these ideas, and that was with a basic beginners book, but I hope that I got the general ideas out there

Jam Tart

2011-04-14T08:37:00.002-04:00

I was stuck on “J,” but when it came to me, it was so obvious.

My dad introduced me to the phrase “Jam Tart.” While they aren't my favorite pastry, it's such an apt phrase for how I'm doing on this Challenge. It means to drop the ball, or not live up to commitments. I must apologize to you all for not visiting more often. I could go on about how busy my toddler keeps me (I swear, I say “On you bum” to the little monkey dozens of times a day) on top of working full time, and the usual domestic duties, but I've said it all before. Oddly, it's busier on my days off, when it's just the two of us, but in the coming years, I'll be so glad that I invested the time. On the flip side, plenty of people have started and maintained writing careers while raising children, so so that tells me what I can do with my excuses.

A theme that comes up in several of the Podcasts that I enjoy is to treat your writing like a job. Don't jam-tart because you're tired, or you have crap on your mind – stuff that you wouldn't pull on your day-job. I'm inspired by this, but the first step of applying-seat-of-pants-to-seat-of-chair is the tricky one. Well, tricky may not be the right word (I obviously need the practice), but once I park it, I can get on a roll pretty easily.

In the mean time, if you're following and I haven't returned the courtesy, please leave me a comment. Sometimes, the link doesn't pop up when I click on the picture. See ya soon!

How Do You Avoid Stepping In This Mess?

2011-04-13T07:14:00.002-04:00

There are a few taboos in fiction writing, but you hear a lot about how you should avoid the dreaded Info-Dump (and adjectives. I hate them so much!)

It's handled well, and it's handled pretty poorly. A popular method is the ignorant outsider. In the one Jim Butcher book I read, )Small Favor, from the Dresdon Files), I thought that the explain-it-to-the-outsider scene came off very well. However, when I read several Sherlock Holmes stories in a row, I got a little tired of Dr. Watson saying “Why Holmes, however did you figure it out?” It seemed to be his only function.

Another instance I enjoyed was (you guessed it) from The Empire Strikes Back. Early on, Han Solo mentions that he had to leave because of a bounty hunter he had run into. A colorful history is alluded to linking the first movie to the second, with a single line.

Another good example is in Tombstone, the Wyatt Earp movie with Kurt Russell. Arriving in a new town, the local law enforcement tries to recruit him (showing his well-regarded reputation) and he quickly and flatly declines, showing how tired he is of law enforcement.

How have you seen info dumps done well? How about not so well?

The Thrice-Great

2011-04-12T06:54:00.002-04:00

1.Tis true without lying, certain most true.
2.That which is below is like that which is above that which is above is like that which is below to do the miracles of one only thing.
3.And as all things have been arose from one by the mediation of one: so all things have their birth from this one thing by adaptation.
4.The Sun is its father, the moon its mother,
5.the wind hath carried it in its belly, the earth its nurse.
6.The father of all perfection in the whole world is here.
7.Its force or power is entire if it be converted into earth.
Separate thou the earth from the fire, the subtle from the gross sweetly with great industry.
8.It ascends from the earth to the heaven again it descends to the earth and receives the force of things superior and inferior.
9.By this means ye shall have the glory of the whole world thereby all obscurity shall fly from you.
10.Its force is above all force. for it vanquishes every subtle thing and penetrates every solid thing.
So was the world created.
11.From this are and do come admirable adaptations whereof the means (Or process) is here in this.
12.Hence I am called Hermes Trismegist, having the three parts of the philosophy of the whole world.
13.That which I have said of the operation of the Sun is accomplished and ended.

Here' another one that I didn't want to rush, but again, the days escape me pretty quickly.

Hermeticism stems from a document from the Middle Ages. It was attributed to an Egyptian priest, Hermes Trismegistus. The surname means “Thrice-Great,” implying that he was either the third incarnation of the god Thoth (or Tahuti), or because he was the greatest of all philosophers, the greatest of all priests, and the greatest of all kings. He is credited with teaching man the arts and sciences of medicine, chemistry, law, art, astrology, music, rhetoric, magic, philosophy, geography, mathematics and geometry, anatomy and oratory. Such tall claims make me think that one of two things happened; either they were referring to a composite character, giving one man credit for the accomplishments of many men, or that Hermes came from a more sophisticated civilization to share all of this with an undeveloped Egypt in antiquity.

Hermes Trisegistus is best known through a document that circulated in the 1100's that claimed to be translated from an Emerald Tablet that had been translated from it's original that was held by Persian Alchemists. It's alchemical instructions seized the imaginations of Europe's thinkers, and an early quote is still quoted by esoteric philosophers: “That which is above is as that which is below, and that which is below is as that which is above.” The idea that Heaven and Earth reflected each other opened lines of reasoning that inspires mystical reflections from then until now, as well as the admonishment to “separate the subtle from the gross.” He is widely recognized as the prime forerunner by Magi and Freemasons, and all manner of esoteric thinkers.

What Do You Know About That

2011-04-09T08:29:00.001-04:00

I'm a little late with this one. On Thursday, I worked until 10, then back at 9 on Friday (Thurs. before work, I had domestic duties. The home must go on...). I did not want to rush this too much.

Gnosis is a Greek word, meaning 'to know.' The Gnostic movement was named in early Christian history as a heresy, but it pre-dates the Church by many centuries. The basic premise is that God can be best known through direct mystical experience, and not through dogmas or institutions.

Allow me to present a parallel. Some of you may remember that I was going to audition for a metal band about a month ago. (they have since disbanded). I downloaded their album, and was familiar with their songs. (like a dogma). My friend – Kyle, the singer – provided the music for me to learn three of their songs. After I had learned them, I knew them; the notes, the structure, and the instrumental interactions that made the songs work. Knowing the music on this level was such a deeper understanding than merely listening and grooving- out. It was an intimacy.

In the Old Testament, “Know” was synonymous with sex, as in “Adam knew Eve, and they beget Cain and Abel.” I can't speak for everyone, but I've found that when I'm physically intimate, it deepens my understanding of a person. Even in my marriage, we have a more tangible comfort level when we're 'active.'

Much of the Gnostic literature speaks in parallels like the ones above. This is because until one has experienced a knowledge of the Divine through mystical experience, there is no way of communicating it. Likewise, once one has had a Gnostic experience, there is no word to describe it, only hints and inadequate parables. I have had some pretty vivid spiritual experiences, both within a religious institutional setting, and beyond it, but I don't claim to have achieved a Gnosis. To learn more, I can't help you, but it requires a lot of devotion and time.

Force, Form, and the Sacred Feminine

2011-04-07T08:43:00.001-04:00

The Sacred Feminine was all but lost for much of recorded history. It's a little embarrassing, as a man, how phallus-centric the world has been. As a friend said when we were speaking of cultural subjection of women, “if God made anything better (than women), He kept it for himself.”

Now, while I'm happy to say how wonderful women are, the point of the Divine Feminine has more to do with the abstract qualities. This can be easily understood from the agricultural perspective. The earth was represented by the Feminine, taking the seed (an obvious masculine element) and keeping it in the darkness to germinate until it's ready to face the world outside. There is an obvious parallel to an embryo when I say it like that.

I found this illustrated really well by the Chinese Yin Yang. Yin is the black, feminine half, and Yank is the white, masculine half (I remember this because “Yang” rhymes with “Wang.” Sometimes, it's helpful to be painfully juvenile.) I once knew someone who thought that this symbol originated with the American Civil Rights movement, but it has nothing to do with race. It also doesn't relate to the Western Black-Bad-White-Good that we see in cinema. White reflects the active like light. White isn't really a reflected colour, but the reflection of all colours. Likewise, Black isn't a colour, but the reflection of no light – absorbing it all.

This can be seen in how form is put to any desire. When I left High School, I had a desire for a career, so I went to college. I bet that many of you will relate that I was absorbed into the institution and groomed.

Likewise, when I want to write a story, it begins with a desire and a loose idea. Actually writing it develops it into a form that is recognizable as a story.

This is just how I'm wired, but I like to see things in this Force and Form perspective. It's more philosophic than religious, and it's an important element of the Mystery School tradition.

The Essenes

2011-04-06T06:41:00.000-04:00

I had a totally different plan for “E,” but when I went to look up it's literal definition in a Dictionary, I stumbled upon a better Idea.

Precious little was known about the Essenes until the Dead Sea Scrolls were discovered in 1947, and that was from the Jewish historian Josephus. They were a Judean sect that were disgruntled with how the their faith was being practiced by the majority of their contemporaries. About 200 years before Jesus, they left their society and eventually began a community in Qumran by (you guessed it) the Dead Sea. They were convinced that the Messiah would arrive soon and smite their enemies.

It is theorized that Jesus' missing years were spent among the Essenes, and that they were deliberately not mentioned in the Gospels to protect their privacy. It is also theorized that the Freemasons emerged from the Essenes. Both Jesus and the Freemasons draw heavily from the Old Testament, so these theorists are bound to see connections. This as important point, that where information is lacking, people will project their own pet-theories onto whatever will validate them, especially historic groups.

Among the many scrolls that were found were several copies of the Book of Isaiah. This supports the theory they were early Kabbalists concerned primarily with mystic visions of the Divine Chariot, four heads (a man, an eagle, a bull, and a lion), and a wheel within a wheel. However, the Book of Isaiah also features many prophesies of a coming age of righteousness, which could just as easily explain the multiple copies of the Book.

What we know for sure is that they were an ultra-conservative group, escaping the taint of society. It is possible that they influenced Jesus or the Freemason's, but we must not mistake a good story for history.

Death and Rebirth

2011-04-05T08:57:00.002-04:00

This is where it begins and ends. With the primitive cultures, they saw death and rebirth in the seasons. For the cultures of the Agricultural age, it was all about the crops. The death of their plants produced the seeds, fruits and vegetables that sustained them for another season.

The Egyptians were obsessed with the afterlife. A Pharaoh would spend his life making tombs and monuments to please the gods and ensure his posterity. A thirty foot tall statue would certainly make future generations remember them, until a succeeding Pharaoh disagreed with his policies and struck his name from all the official records.

In the Mystery School traditions, this is a very present principle. It's not about what may happen in an afterlife, or what could happen to the food supply. It's about what happens through the course of anybody's life. When a young person takes their first steps into a career or higher education, much of what that person was comes to an end. Much of the personality remains, but it has to mature, and grow into a state that's appropriate to an adults life.

When I became a parent, I had to lose a lot of my selfishness. Nothing obnoxious, but I would spend my days eating donuts and watching Next Generation and playing a computer game. Maybe throwing a little writing or guitar playing into the day. Now, I do diapers and pony-tails and play “Gonna-Get-You!” (it's really simple. She runs until I grab her up, then she giggles. I'm sure our games will get more sophisticated with time.)

It's not about what's occurred in history, it's about what's happened in our own lives every few years. We have to end former versions of ourselves, and begin anew. Grasping this philosophy can make the “death” phases easier to bear, knowing that a job loss or empty nest (or just a deep funk that doesn't seem to have any real cause) is a necessary part of the cycle.

Where Do You Belong?

2011-04-04T09:02:00.002-04:00

Does anyone else get irritated with speeches or articles that begin with a Dictionary definition? It seems lazy and predictable; and I hate predictable. However, I believe that this word is in dire need of some clarification.
Cult: (from Latin 'cultus,' care)1. A system of religious worship. 2. devoted attachment to a person, principle, etc. 3. a sect.

Now, when the media mentions a cult leader, what comes to mind? Exactly what I'd think, I'll bet; polygamy and spiked Kool-Aid. But I'll bet that you're the member of a cult.

Do you believe in Democracy? Would you even say that you have a devoted attachment to the ideal? Busted.
How about the Yankees or the Raiders? Consider that, and compare it to someone painting their face and hollering in devotion to Krishna. Ring a bell?
Ever lost time in a hypnotic state on the Xbox?

And what are my cults of choice? The first one that comes to mind is George Lucas – he is a master of re-telling the classics, and he turned a raging success into an overhaul of the industry. If you've ever sat through the credits of a movie, or TV show, you're likely to see “Industrial Light & Magic” or “Skywalker Sound.” I would say that I admire his ideals, severely.

I also have a devotional belief in philosophical alchemy, metaphorically turning lead into gold. I fail miserably more than I care to admit, but I try.
Now, could Blogging be considered a cult? We're certainly devoted.

On a house-keeping note, there are a few new Followers here who A can't find through the link on my page (as in, I click on your picture, and there's no link). So if I haven't re-followed or even visited, please leave a link in my Comments, and I'll stop by shortly!

Branding

2011-04-02T09:01:00.001-04:00

Here is yet another new idea that many are sick of hearing about. I first heard about Branding as a marketing term a couple years ago.

Here's how I understand it: It's how you want to be seen by the buying public, what you have to offer, and the style in which you're offering it.

It's not phoney, but more of a catered portrayal. One Podcast I listened to likened a writer's online Brand to how we would present ourselves at a cocktail party. We would be putting our best foot forward, and not whine about our bosses and hemorrhoids.

A few years ago, I was reading a book on Yoga philosophy. (stay with me here, there's a point to this)Coming from a Hindu perspective, it spoke of transmigration, or the soul's journey from one life to another. The point was something that all spiritual traditions agree on; that we are Spiritual Beings having a human experience. The person that we think we are is merely a vessel that we use to interact with this time-space reality. It's like we're playing a character for a lifetime. That's what Branding reminds me of, playing a character for our public interactions.

A less esoteric example would be a rock star. Off-stage, Alice Cooper likes to play golf, and just be normal, but when performing, he's sincerely expressing and aspect of himself. How about a less extreme example would be no less appropriate. I'm not sure what The Edge from U2 does with his time, but it probably isn't typical Rock Star behavior. And Marilyn Manson? Well, he's a bit of a question...

How do you understand Branding? If a writer wants to write in different genres, should they adopt another pen-name like Nora Roberts/JD Robb?

Alchemy

2011-04-01T08:25:00.001-04:00

Like last year, I'm going to use the opportunity of the A-Z challenge to write about some things dear to me, but don't fit into my parenting-and-writing motif. Many of these things are firmly in the category of Alternative Spirituality (Alternative to the mainstream beliefs, that is).

A prominent feature of the Mystery School Traditions is alchemy. What the classic alchemists endeavored to was the changing of lead into gold – this is the part that's familiar to most people. This was done by heating lead in special stoves that may have functioned like pressure cookers. Records of their success is spotty, and since the alchemists were sponsored by nobility, we can't be certain if they propagated for the reputations of the mobility in mind.

More importantly, it's been commonly interpreted that this is to be meant as a metaphor. The lead is said to represent our base nature, and gold illustrates our spiritual potential. Through the furnace (trials and hardship), we are able to turn our self-centerdness into something loftier.

Another function of the alchemists was tinctures. Loosely defined, a tincture is a solution developed by taking a plant and distilling it to it's essential elements. This was the birth of pharmacy. In this way, the alchemists also developed chemistry.

They are often remembered as crack-pots, but lets not forget their contribution to the world. Either way, the spiritual nature of alchemy is worth keeping in mind. I try to keep this in mind (with varying degrees of success) when things get tough.

The Goldfish Experiment.

2011-03-22T09:11:00.001-04:00

For those who are unfamiliar with with the Bloggers Crusade, this challenge is a flash fiction piece, where we all start with the same four words. After the first pass, I had to cut 18 words, and I'll tell ya, it was a great exercise in editing! So without further adieu...

The goldfish bowl teetered on the rail of the ship, and Peasolbottom the goldfish tasted freedom. The expanse called, and Peasolbottom dreamed of the freedom of the sea. But again, the person who put him on the rail caught the bowl before it launched Peasolbottom to his fate. The person laughed; he knew damn well that he was teasing him!
But then the miracle happened! Rope caught the man's ankle. As Peasolbottom met the sea, he realized that the water was different: salty. As his body rejected the environment, he heard “The captain's gonna kill me for losing Peasolbottom!”

Good news, and some absolutely gawd-awful crap news.

2011-03-19T07:34:00.001-04:00

Well, there's good news, and there's bad news.
The good news is that I've already started on the A-Z challenge. Last year, it was a lot to do every night, and getting ahead of the game seems to be a good idea.

Sadly, the bad news abounded last week. After two visits to the hospital last Monday, Andrea miscarried. I guess that's why it's often said that one shouldn't announce a pregnancy until the three-month mark, but I'm sure you get how I was excited to share the news. The bigger problem is that I shared it a lot at work. When the pregnancy ended, I wasn't in a mood to discuss it, so I only told a few close friends. I just wasn't in the mood for a lot of “there, there”'s and platitudes. I only got those from one person. God love her, she was only trying to help. It got a little awkward when people would ask how it was going, and I had to tell them.

Something came into sharp focus – something I had no9ticed before, but had forgotten. People who complain a lot tend to have irritations. When I'm in traffic, I cuss and carry on like I'd lost my car in a game of poker. A serious problem tends to put it all in perspective. If a customer wants to be a dick because I'm in the service industry and they can get away with it through the holy rite of spending money, it still bugs me, but it's a lot easier to brush off now.

Has anyone else noticed that some serious shit has been happening lately? Asides from the REALLY serious shit in Egypt, Libya and Japan, a lot of large-caliber issues seem to be happening in the lives of individuals. Or is it just my imagination...

Where I've Been...

2011-03-10T09:10:00.001-05:00

It's been awhile. I wish I had a dollar for every post that started like that. I wish I could say that I was finishing a manuscript, but I've hardly done any writing at all.

Some of you remember me talking about the local band Breach & Entry. They have recently re-united, and they were in need of a bassist. I've been trying to throw my hat into that ring for awhile, but they were finally giving me some music to learn do a try out. (out of desperation, I think. I am a balding 36 year old, and they had tried three other bassists.) After a week of practicing, they decided to add their original bassist to the reunion. Honestly, it stings a little, but the singer is a friend, and I wish them well. That's where all of my free time went, and at this moment, I was supposed to be trying-out, but I'm writing.

I think it's better this way. I can write whenever it's convenient for me and my family, and I don't need to co-ordinate my creative time with other artists. Not to mention the creative vision – is it any wonder that most bands don't last very long?

This also frees me up to take a different position at work, since my current one lets me finish early on Fridays. (the rational being that I'd need to be free to play shows on Fridays) I have been working the cash registers for three years, but there's a chance to out to buggy's full-time. Yup, it's just what it sounds like: spending my days in the parking lot, bringing the shopping carts back into the building. It sounds horribly pedestrian, doesn't it? Like a job that a 17-year-old would have. But, I get a long leash, in that my every movement isn't directed by the supervisors, and most importantly, I get my head to myself. On cash, I need to be engaged in what I'm doing, or I make costly mistakes. In the lot, I can work on plot-lines, or just flake out! I hope I get it, it would take a load off my mind, and the exercise would be good for me.

Pee and Lies.

2011-02-26T10:19:00.001-05:00

Like a lot of parents, we thrive on routine. Bath time is at seven, then bottle & bed. As we're filling the tub, we get the humidifier filled, get the towel, and undress Chickerdoodles.

Like a lot of toddlers, she delights in running around in the buff. She jogs about, chasing the dog with all the glory of her freedom. But occasionally, the sound of running water affects her as it does the rest of us. Sometimes, she feels the need to squat and piddle.

Since her functions are usually (thankfully) confined to the diaper, she can get fascinated with her product. On Friday night, she left a puddle on the hall carpet, and was fiddling with it. Ew. I grabbed a towel from the laundry to deal with it, and Andrea said, “she gets upset when you interrupt her.” Ladies and gentlemen, my offspring. She did walk away, but she returned with a facecloth and wiped the carpet right along with me. That. Was. Precious!

Awhile ago, she peed on the linoleum in the bathroom. It wasn't funny, until she slipped in it. Even then, it wasn't until she was trying to get up and continued to slip, getting frustrated as only a toddler can, that I was truly laughing. OK, it isn't funny in theory, but honestly, she was minutes from a bath, so no harm done.
For many of you, this is a first, second or third impression of my site. Well, urine luck.

It took awhile – about a week – but I finally got to Following all of the Crusaders. I fear that I still only have a limited amount of time to surf, so my apologies if I'm not by as often as I like. But a HUGE thank you to everyone who came by to Follow me! You're all more awesome than bacon-wrapped scallops, and I think that whoever invented those should get a Nobel Prize!

For the First Crusader Challenge, I had to do a Search on “Bloviate” and “Fuliguline,” as neither were in my Dictionary (the 3D, certifiably dead tree variety). I found “Fuliguline” to be a Sea Duck, so I told of when I proposed, there were ducks nesting at the waterfront – all true. But my city's waterfront is on a lake, not a sea, so that was my lie. Not the Bon Jovi part;I really do have a soft spot for them, though I can't listen to that many ballads in one sitting. I was more interested in astrology a few years ago, but it's still at the back of my mind when I learn someone's Birthday. So, like a lot of you, my “lie” was an insignificant detail in the true tale.

First Crusader Challenge

2011-02-21T15:58:00.001-05:00

For your reading pleasure, I present the first Crusader Challenge. My word count is running a little long, so I'll jump right into it.

-I've got a soft spot for Bon Jovi. I don't listen to them much, but when I first heard “You give love a bad name,” I'd only listened to Top 40, like most 12-year-olds. I thought “This is metal! But it's pretty good!” It opened up a whole world to me, and much of what I listen to now is on the heavier side.

-When I proposed, it was at my town's waterfront, and it was quite appropriate to find a family of nesting fuliguline by the pier.

-If I can, I interact with people with their astrological associations in mind. The night before my first date with the woman who would become my wife, I looked up the attributes of Pisces and her Chinese attribute, Rabbit.

-In many social situations, I can be pretty quiet, but when I get a little polluted, I tend to bloviate like there's no tomorrow! When I've had a third beer, those who know me (see: Wife) just settle in for the twenty minute rant.

-I asked my wife about a “Best Character trait,” because I'm not sure what's a great trait, and what's irritating. She mentioned my thoughtfulness. Well, I am a “Karma Junky;” “doing unto others..,” and all that. At work, I move like a rabbit on Red Bull, 'cause others are waiting, and I want to keep the flow of customers moving.

-One of my favorite things in the whole world is religion. I find it to be a fascinating way to relate to a culture, to see how they relate to the eternal and the Divine. The variety of perspectives can give endless insights into the human condition, though I resent how dogmas have been spread with force and blades.

More Sweetness.

2011-02-16T21:47:00.002-05:00

JC Martin at The Fighter Writer has kindly awarded me with the Irresistibly Sweet Award. The rules are

1. Thank the one who gave you the award (Thanks JC, that's awesome!)
2.Award five Bloggers that you've recently discovered. Sadly, I've recently discovered over 200 through Rachel Harrie's Bloggers' Crusade, and I have LOTS more to Follow, so it's taking up a lot of my computer time. I'm afraid I'll have to pass on the nominations until I have more hours in the day.
3.List seven things about yourself.

Alright, here goes. First, my wife has recently acquired a Super Sniffer, and with her new enhanced sense, I need to shower TWICE a week!
Second, Rach's Crusade has me Following more Blogs than I can regularly Comment on, so please forgive my sporadic appearances, but really, 200+? That's a pretty tall order.
Third, I have a designated driver for the summer, but if I abuse it, I'll wind up with a black eye and a limp.
Fourth, I may be joining a local Metal band soon, but at the moment, it's a big “We'll see...”
Fifth, There will be a lot more Decaf coffee in the house, and a lot less pop, due to a short-term caffeine intolerance.
Sixth, We will be preparing a new room for Snookerdoodles over the summer.
And Seventh, just in case you haven't put the clues together:

WE'RE HAVING ANOTHER BABY!

We found out EXACTLY two years after we found out about the first, Feb 4th. (Cool, eh?), and we're pretty excited. We've been trying for a few months (and a couple times since we found out, just to be sure), so it's quite a relief. Doing this with a 2-year-old in the house will be quite the challenge, but millions have done it before, and if (did I really say “if”?) it gets overwhelming, well, that's why God gave us grandparents!

Have a Lovely Day.

2011-02-14T09:19:00.001-05:00

Happy Valentine's Day, one and all! But is it happy for you all? I remember just how miserable it can be for single people. If you're having a miserable day, for God's sake, find someone to talk to about it! If you need a night to get wasted and vent about how awful the other gender is, so be it. And let me apologize on behalf of Western Culture for rubbing all this sweet stuff in your face. If it's any consolation, there will be tons of cheap chocolate available tomorrow.

We're not doing much today, 'cause we're both working. So I made a special dinner last week to surprise her on Wednesday. Ta-Daa! Including chocolates, and all the trimmings. The only snag was that the Lemon Garlic Lamb wasn't ready until 45 mins after the potatoes and veggies. Oops! Fortunately, I also has a pretty spiffy cake, so that made it all better. Then on Sunday night when I got home, Sweety had chocolates, a card, and a bag of Starbucks Beans – MY FAVORITE! And a wonderful Chicken Pot Pie to boot! We decided not to exchange gifts, because we both have Birthdays in March. We're not even doing much for those, since we're putting a new floor in our living room and dining room this weekend. Well, me, my dad and a couple buddies are, Andrea's taking Chickerdoodles to best friend's house, so we can work. I'll bet you know how kids are when there's a parent available who isn't really available; it's all they can think about, am I right?

We did have our night out, though. We went to a local place called Crazy Fox Bistro. If you're local, I'd highly recommend it! Then we went to see Just Go With It. Usually it's the kind of movie that makes me say “I'm sure that you and Michelle will really enjoy that!” But hey, it's Valentine's Day, and it's an Adam Sandler movie, so it was pretty good.

Hope that ya'll are having a great day! Spread some love, in whatever kind of relationship you're in!

How do you handle your drafts?

2011-02-10T10:36:00.001-05:00

Wow, look at us go! Did you have any idea that this Crusade would have such an impact? Well, some of you did this last year, so I'd imagine that you did, but I'm surprised. I've got 11 new followers in half a week, and I've found some great Blogs.

So, since there are so many writers here, I've got a revision question. Here's how I understand the process:
First Draft: Get it all out there, considering only the main points. “Letting the children out to play.”
Then you shelf it for a while, I've heard two weeks to six months.
Second Draft: Plot considerations. Making all of the Plot Arcs and Character Arcs make sense and co-ordinate. “Sending the kids to school.”
Third Draft: making the writing good. “If you meet an adjective on the side of the road, kill him.” Trading good word choices for perfect ones, etc.

After that, it's time to take it to critique groups and Beta Readers, and eventually, agents.

That's how I've come to understand it from the hints and partial revelations from more successful authors who Blog. How do you understand the process?

Bloggers' Crusade

2011-02-04T06:27:00.003-05:00

One of the Podcasts that I subscribe to – Adventures In SciFi Publishing – has a quote at the beginning of each episode; something like “you should not begin a new project unless it scares you a little.” There's a wisdom to this. I learned from public speaking that if you're nervous, it shows that you care about what you're doing, and that will be obvious to the audience. When someone speaks to an audience without such fear and concern, it will show, and the audience won't be any more interested than the speaker is. Zzzz...

So what's scaring me now? A Crusade. Rachel Harrie over at Rachel Writes is hosting a Blogger Networking event. Best of all, contributors will be categorized by genre. Is this a good thing? That depends. I like to see what others in my genre are doing, because it's good for honing my craft, and networking. It also familiarizes my with the publishers and agents that are more likely to represent the kind of work I'm producing.

On the other hand, most writing has something I need to learn. I'm not writing romance, but if there isn't any in my books, I'm neglecting a big part of the human experience. I'm not writing mysteries, but I have a lot to learn about suspense, and making the reader want to keep turning those pages.

The scary part is the time involved. We're all following a lot of Blogs, and finding the time to read & comment can be daunting, especially with the rest of life calling for attention. I often remember something Donald Trump wrote in Think Big and Kick Ass (it got re-named to “Think Big” when the sales were disappointing) If you really believe in what you're doing, then you should have no problem finding at least two hours a day to contribute to it.

We all still have a lot to learn. And many of us would like to continue using our platforms to network. Rachael has provided a great opportunity for us, so if you're so inclined, swing on by and join the Crusade!

Small Print Piranhas

2011-02-01T05:30:00.002-05:00

The other day, I was listening to my favorite Podcast, “I Should Be Writing,” and the host, Mur Lafferty was talking about something really scary. Naturally, I said, “*gasp* I need towarn the masses!” By “The Masses,” I'm referring to the dozens of you who stop by here regularly ;)

She spoke of a contest that's preying on writers. In the fine print, it's stated that by submitting your work, you forfeit your copyright to the work. So if you don't win, they can still use your story in whatever fashion they so choose. AND, if you sell it elsewhere, they can sue you for the profit, as the rightful copyright owners. SINNERS!

And, just in case your ass isn't hurting enough from this deal, there's a submission fee for the contest. Can you believe the gall of these bastards? Legitimate publishers don't even ask for such fees! Legitimate contests might ask for submission fees, but they aren't requiring your copyrights!

I kinda wish that she had named these perpetrators, so I could metaphorically drag their asses through the streets.

So read all the boring fine print. It's painfully dull, but it could save you a lot of grief.

On a lighter note, I'd like to share a conversation that I had with my wife. She said something about the book she was reading, a vampire romance (not THAT one. She's already read the Glitter thing.)

ME: I thought that it was just a standard romance.
ANDREA: It's called “Blood Born”
ME: I didn't see that. I was distracted by the guy's pects.
ANDREA: wide-eyed, laughing in disbelief
ME: Well, they're damn near boobs!
ANDREA: I don't know who that's homo-erotic for, you or me!

Fact, Belief, and a NaNo update.

2011-01-26T10:48:00.002-05:00

I have a new friend. Well, he's a guy from work, and we've been chatting casually for about a year now, always with the closing statement, “we've gotta get together sometime.” But, as it happened, 'sometime' was a long time coming, because 1) I'm naturally introverted, so on my days off, I tend to close the curtains and screen my calls, and 2) me growing family leaves me with my hands full.

Twice this year, though, Thomas and I finally got together. He plays guitar, so I brought my bass over, and we played with some of the stuff that he's been recording. The second time, we went to visit my drummer buddy, and THAT was a rip-snorting good time!

We have also read a lot of the same conspiracy books, so we'll go off on those tangents for awhile. Eight or ten years ago, I was chin-deep in that stuff, not so much the moon-landing-and-Roswell stuff, but more of how the few controlled the many through pyramid structures. For example, if a dozen people in the banking industry and the National Treasury's are all in the same clubs (like the Bilderberg Group), then they can have a wide-reaching influence on how the world's financial future will go.

There is tons of evidence that points to this, but it's mostly circumstantial, and sketchy testimonies. This all makes sense, because if there's a conspiracy, then they'll cover their tracks and intimidate witnesses. If there isn't one, then there will be nothing to find.

This led me to learn to separate facts from speculation. FACT: We have less than
10 000 years of recorded history. FACT Multiple civilizations show that they knew more about astronomy and engineering (ie, many Egyptian structures) than their primitive contemporaries. SPECULATION: Atlantis, or possibly alien astronauts, or both influenced the course of history.

The conclusion that I've come to is that I'll probably never know for sure what happened in pre-history. When I made my peace with that, it was extremely liberating. I can believe whatever I want, knowing full well that I don't need to prove it to be The Truth.

Which brings me to my WiP. I'm writing a novelization of some of these theories, and Julie asked me in the comments of my last post how my NaNo project went. Well, I hit the 50 000 words on time, but it was far from done, so I'm still plugging away at it. Yesterday was my best day this year so far: 838 words. I just may make my goal this week. Most of my reading is on writing (Blogs, magazines, and a great book by Chris Vogler), not to mention my beloved Podcasts, so I've really got a fire in my belly to get this happening.

Wow, that was a lot of tangent to answer that question!

I don't want to tell you how to swear, but...

2011-01-21T21:53:00.001-05:00

It's possible that I have spent too much time talking about swearing. It's been awhile, but I recall a few posts on foul language. But I have something on the topic that I think needs to be said.

I think that we should retire the “C-Word.” It is widely considered the most offensive word in North American English, though I understand that in England, it's thrown around like “brilliant,” but that isn't why I want to retire it. I'm not one to shy away from the offensive. I believe that if something is that offensive to someone, then it gives people power over them. It's also a cheap way for people to claim power: “Oh you've offended me! Now, be contrite while I dramatically sulk over my wounded feelings.” Yeah, cram it up your chute.

The reason that I think the “C-Word” should be retired (if it's still unclear, it rhymes with 'runt') is that occurred to me that it's an inappropriate reference for a curse. I like vagina’s. I think they're wonderful. However, I don't have a problem calling someone a dick, dink, or pecker-head. Go figure.

So now, I've retired my “China Cabinet Word” – the one I break out for special occasions. To my mind, there is only one option for it's replacement: Micro-manager. Stay with me here. Granted, it doesn't roll off the tongue very well in traffic, but these people...I did a post on it once, but I respect that you've got other Blogs to read, so I won't reference back to it, but here's the short version: Micro-managers think they're being helpful, but they're WAY too quick to offer their advice, on every detail of what you're doing. These souls have adapted a vile practice, and need to knock it off!
So are you with me?

Zombie-Free Zone

2011-01-15T20:23:00.001-05:00

I've never been interested in writing a zombie story. They're getting popular, but the books just don't appeal to me. The movies can be fun, especially Zombieland, or the Resident Evil series, but they sure aren't my first choice.

One aspect of this is that traditionally, they have been a rather slow-moving monster. “Oooh, here I come! Shuffling at the speed of a Senate.”
“Oh no! I'd better walk slightly faster!” More current movies have remedied this, but for me, well I'm still stuck with that early impression.

More likely though, I think that I was turned off of zombies at the tender age of nine, when the Micheal Jackson “Thriller” video freaked me right the eff out! But I had to watch it, it was Micheal Jackson. When I was nine, that “Beat It” video made him seem pretty bad-ass! (Not to mention the Eddie Van Halen guitar contribution. I sure didn't put my finger on it at the time, but EVH really upped the ante on that song) And, of course, EVERYONE my age thought that Micheal Jackson was just great, and adults encouraged our fandom, because he was still so very wholesome at the time.

Point being, I was strangely compelled to watch the video whenever it was on. The scenes with the arm falling off, and the regurgitating black goo are forever burned into my memory, and the Vincent Price voice-over really augmented the creepy factor.

I think what really got to me though was the clothes. These decayed people-like things were rather well-dressed. I didn't put it together at the time, but it drew a direct connection from the funeral to the rising, making it seem more real to me.

What also made it real was the old farming area we lived in, complete with the 200-year-old graveyard. Trying to go to sleep after seeing MJ dance with the undead, and knowing that just a block away, there was a bone yard, just waiting to spit-up it's residents made for some very unsettled nights.

And that's where my mind wandered as I was trying to fall asleep the other night.

New Years; More Oil Dipping!

2011-01-10T11:04:00.003-05:00

New Years, as always, was great. We did our traditional Fondue Party again, just eight of us, and it was a fun, low key, good time. Snookerdoodles was a lovely little hostess, and when we were eating, she just sat in her high chair, chattering away and flipping through a book. She really enjoys company.

Naturally, the conversation turned to New Years Resolutions. I hadn't put very much thought into it, since a) the Christmas season is really, really busy, and b) keeping up with Snookerdoodles is an all-consuming task. A labor of love, to be sure, but it's still a lot of work. Whenever we think we've got a handle on it, she develops a new skill. Lately, it's climbing. She is just pleased as punch with herself that she can now get on the couch, or the hallway bench that holds her winter clothes when she isn't wearing them. Her Gramma was watching her last week, and said, “I took the tray off of the high chair, and when I got back from the kitchen, she had climbed it and was standing in the seat!” Yeah, she'll so that. Honestly, it's a little frightening, but I figure that it's a necessary developmental thing, so I just stay close and wait to keep her from going tail-over-teakettle.

And that's quite enough of that tangent. When asked about the New Years Resolution, I was caught off-guard. “Uhh...to write more?”

Now, the problem with vague, wishy-washy goals is that they're vague and wishy-washy. (this is where I pause in the writing. All that comes to mind is those slogans on the bottom of inspirational posters of hand-gliders and majestic animals. “A goal is a dream with legs”, or “A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.” Here's the thing though; I love them. As campy as they are, little word-formulas that light a fire under my ass are pretty cool. Except the cat on a rope: “Hang in there.” Way over-done.)

So my first thought is this: 3000 words a week. One of my favorite Bloggers, Hart Johnson at Confessions of a Watery Tart, had a great post on this; having definite, clear-cut goals, but she set the bar at 5000 words a week. I suspect that she can type almost as fast as her computer can process the input. I set my goal a little lower, since I'm still a hunt-and-peck typist. I'm also thinking that I should finish the first drafts of my two WiP's. One by March, and the other by May. (Whee Whee Hoo. That's me, doing Lamaze breathing). I think I can, I think I can...

And how about Blogging, can I commit to two posts a week? Sure, but it's taken me about five days to do this post, but if I'm putting myself out there (like I did for NaNoWriMo), I'm more likely to do it. What are your writing goals?

Active Lifestyle?

2011-01-02T07:41:00.002-05:00

We had this brilliant idea that we wanted to be an active family. We didn't want our kids to be video game zombies with no real skills, so we'd brainstorm ideas about all of the classes we wanted to enroll them in (we only have one child, but we're “trying” for more, so we often speak of “them” in the plural when we get theoretical).
We're pretty adamant on getting them into some kind of Martial Art, for the exercise and discipline. Also, for the girl(s), we'd feel a lot better knowing that they could take care of themselves if need be. We've also thought of swimming, as that's a valuable skill. I'd like to get them into piano too, because it's the best starter instrument, learning the theory, and the two-handed coordination. The trouble with piano lessons, though, is that 90% of kids hate it, and give it up as soon as they can. I'm hoping that a fun teacher can remedy that.
On Tuesday, we took our first steps towards that. Andrea had a shopping date with Michelle, who had recently been skating. She had a blast, and said “You should take Calli skating!” None of us had skates, but being the season for sales, Andrea was able to get us all outfitted for $100. I have to admit, I wasn't 100% thrilled at the plan, but once we got out there, it was a blast. It wasn't too cold, so Calli had a great time. Especially when she figured out that she could just go rigid, lean back, and let me push her.
Then yesterday, we took her & Captain Kuma, head of security out for a walk. She got a classic-style wooden sleigh for Christmas, and it was fun to put a few miles on it. Actually, that's a generous assessment; it couldn't have been more than a mile and a half. We were pretty pooped, and I'm glad that we did it before her afternoon nap, so I had an excuse to sit with her and catch a few winks of my own!
Thursday was a little easier; we're getting ready for our New Year's Eve Fondue Party. Since we went cleaning-crazy last week for our Christmas Eve Party, today was a snap! Now I have time to write – Yay me! (I meant to get this up on Friday, but I didn't get the pictures I was waiting for -- Boo!)

Fa-la-la-la-la....

2010-12-22T08:03:00.001-05:00

As usual, I am not bouncing and giggling my way into the Christmas season. Part of that is because I work in retail, and the season is more of a hurricane than a spiritual experience. It's not as crazy as it may be in a mall, so the customers I encounter aren't the frazzles crank-pots you may expect. But, boy howdy, there are a lot of them! My saving grace is that as a cashier, I'm always at the right end of the line up.

Perhaps part of it is the music. The same pre-fabricated feel-good bullocks year after year by a new batch of has-been artists trying to cash in.

Another root to my hum-bug is that I was 3000 kms from home (about the distance from Buffalo to Seattle, for my US readers, or from Portugal to Moscow for the Europeans.) for my early adulthood. My Christmas plans usually included laundry. Just as often, I would spend Christmas with the families of different friends. These turned out to be nice experiences, but they always started awkwardly.

Now that I have a family of my own, it's easier to get into the spirit of the season. By the 23rd, anyway. My wife seriously enjoys entertaining, so there's always the get-the-house-in-order project. I am really thankful to my mum-in-law for taking Chickerdoodle for a few hours, so we can really power through it, with both hands! (I've become pretty dexterous with one hand – FOR CHORES! Grow up!)

In slightly-related, the season has really brought to light what a “Dad” I've become. Several times, my wife asked what I want for Christmas, and I just shrugged and said “Dunno. Chapters card and a bag of Starbucks beans?” (“Chapters” is a Canadian version of Barnes & Noble.) While I am quite OK with that, the other example of Dad-ness was more disturbing. I made a pun. It was a good pun, but a pun none the less, and I hand my head in shame. Something about after eating Mom's turnip casserole (it's a lot better than it sounds), and keeping tight control at work, 'cause the gossips at work enjoy a “ripe tale.” (“ripe tail?”) Point being, most puns are really, really bad, especially the one's from newscasters, and I've never been shy about railing about it. Then my wife called me on my pun, and I had to admit: I made a bad “Dad Joke.” Someone please promise me, if I ever sit down to a family dinner and say “So, what are you all going to eat?” that you'll put a bullet through my head.

Another First.

2010-12-11T16:41:00.001-05:00

When people talk about their kids, it's often about the firsts. You know, the first steps, first words, first embarrassing words in front of the in-laws (“She didn't learn that word from ME! I'm not even sure what that is!”). The first time a colon-blow escapes the diaper.

Last week, I had a rather unpleasant first. You see, it's all about the climbing. She finds the new perspectives exciting, and there's so much to discover, right in the rooms that she's always known. For instance, we were keeping a cooler in the kitchen (we need a new fridge...), and she triumphantly climbed it to find what was on the kitchen island. What held her attention for a remarkable amout of time was a little ceramic jar that we keep garlic in (That's my girl!). She would pull out a clove, then another. Then put them back in. Then pull them out again, taste one, then put them back in the jar. This amused her for about fifteen minutes. No lie, we made a note for Christmas. OK, we're not really giving her garlic for Christmas, but the “fifteen minutes” part is true.

Then she lost her footing. She smacked her mouth on the corner of the kitchen island, and cut the gum over her top front teeth. Naturally I grabbed her up and cuddled her, thinking that she had startled herself, and maybe had a bruise. At this time, Andrea was upstairs getting her hair done for her Christmas party by our friend Michelle. At first, Andrea wanted to run when she heard the cry, but Michelle said “Don't worry, I'm sure Will has a handle on it.”

It was about this time that I found blood on my shirt. My baby's blood, on my white shirt. It spelled out the words “You are an awful father, and should be disemboweled for your crimes, and your name should never be spoken by civilized folks again.”

What my wife heard was “Oh shit! Andrea!” There was enough of an edge of panic in my voice that Andrea came rushing downstairs, bowling over our friend. Doctors say that Michelle should be walking unassisted again by spring.

As I initially suspected, she was fine in minutes, smiling and cooing at the parent she hadn't seen in an hour, with blood smeared on her cheek. We got her cleaned up and her mouth rinsed out, and found that it was a really small cut.

At the Christmas party, all of the other parents said that it would be the first of many. One mother asked “Who was on duty?” She had a story of when her husband was 'on duty' that involved a garage door. I felt a little better.

I Did It, And I'm Back!

2010-12-05T06:16:00.000-05:00

To be perfectly honest, I wasn't sure that I was going to make it, but on the morning of the 30th, I hit the magic 50, 000-word mark.

Twice in November, I fell behind. Once, early on when we were entertaining one night, and later in the month when I was burnt-out and had to work early the next day. But my typing has gotten a lot faster, and getting the flow from my head to the screen has gotten better. And I had a bag of Starbucks beans. That helped with my late nights.

The first night was the hardest, mostly because I picked a difficult topic. For the Prologue, I wrote from the mind of Gaia, the World Soul, of how divisions came into existence. It was kinda epic, and grand, and beyond my reach, but I pulled it off. My mom-in-law tried to read it, and got hung-up on the word “Monad.” I still haven't found anyone who knows what a Monad is, so it looks like I'll either have to define it in the text (awkward!) or edit it out.

Mostly, I have my wife to thank. She was so supportive, and handled a lot of bath times with the snookerdoodle so I could get a few more words out. She was very understanding of me staying up late, and even put off watching the third season of True Blood to wait for me to finish. That may have been the most painful part, and she truly is a trooper for waiting!

I met some really interesting people at the Write-Ins, but had to miss the last one, as I had to work (Grr!) Hopefully they'll be back next year. Of course, I'll have to put that decision, 'cause you never know what life will throw you, but it looks promising!

Tick, tick, tick GO!

2010-10-30T20:45:00.001-04:00

Are you excited? I'm excited. Two more sleeps 'till NaNoWriMo. Well, excited and pretty intimidated.

I've got part of my NaNo kit together. I've got the memory stick I need to transfer my work from my netbook to the main computer so I can print it off & my wife can follow along. She's pretty excited to track my progress. I've been storing-up podcasts from my favorite podcasters for inspiration, and I've been listening to “B-Listers” leading up to November. (they aren't inferior podcasts, they just aren't as relateable to my work.) And I've got my vitamin B.

Yet to get: Ginko Baloba, which is supposed to be a mental pick-me-up. I may need another ink cartridge for my printer. And a bag of Starbucks beans. Can I get a “Hell Yeah”? Perhaps another writing magazine for inspiration.

Another helpful idea I heard was to have a book from an inspirational author (George RR Martin in my case) and a book by a lackluster author, so after ten minutes with it, I can say, “Well, I certainly can do better than this!” I need not mention that author.

One more tip: Summer Ross will be posting prompts for us all, 'cause Lord knows that we're all gonna get stuck!

Yesterday, I found a pre-NaNo gathering in my town, so I went to meet some other participants. I also have a friend at work who's participating, so I dragged her along. We met some great people, one who's writing similar stories, and one who isn't, but who's well-versed in the legends I'm basing my story on. Sweet, and sweet! We're getting together again on Tuesday for a write-in at the same place, the manager of Casa Cappuccino is tickled pink!

It was the last minute that I firmly decided to go, since my darling Snookerdoodles had me up at 3:30. I wish that was a typo, but no, it was oh-dark-hundred, alright. By the time she finally settled, it was less than an hour before my alarm was due to go off, so I just stayed up. Yay. But I made it, and met some great people, and hopefully, we'll have a bigger turn-out on Tuesday. Good times! And just a little “eep.”

I Can't Believe It's Been 12 Days...

2010-10-23T16:01:00.001-04:00

There really hasn't been a whole lot going on here. Well, there's been plenty, and it's been exciting after a fashion, but nothing that makes good writing.

I get up when the monitor squawks. Pee, brush my teeth, and get Snookerdoodles a clean diaper. Feed said Snookerdoodles. Actively feed the eggs/waffle/pancakes/French toast/oatmeal, then let her feed herself with the Cheerios while I write what I can, usually about 100-150 words, all while listening to Tool, Velvet Revolver, Soundgarden or Johnnie Cash. She's my little head-banger!

I finally got formally set-up for NaNoWriMo. Turns out that there's 94 participants in my area! A little surprising, since our population is about 225 000; not a huge city. On our region's message board, a few people were saying “...we should have a write it!” With no suggestions, I suggested a time and place. We'll see what happens with that.I've “Buddied a few of you on the NaNo site, but if there's any others, by all means, let me know.

I think that the hardest part will be turning off the “Inner Editor” to just write. I'm always checking the Spell Check, and pausing to refine my work, and it slows me down Not this time; I'll trudge along, typos and all!

I had to set up a new email account to register with NaNo, because MSN are being douche bags! I'm locked out unless I provide a cel number for them to send a code to. Well, fuck you, fuck you very much, they don't need that!

Wish me luck, and best of luck to all of the other participants! Cheers!

A new reason to make myself scarce.

2010-10-11T13:56:00.002-04:00

Many of you will be aware of NaNoWriMo, National Novel Writing Month. In November, writers from all over the world try to write a 50,000-word novel. Sounds daunting, but lots of people do it.

I first heard of it last year, about this time when some of the Bloggers I read were gearing-up for it. I was not ready for it, and I'm still probably ill-equipped, truth be told. But I read a post at Burrowers, Books and Balderdash that totally put a bug in my ear about it, right after a friend at work asked if I was going to do it. That day, I was working in a brain-dead department, so I had lots of time to mull over the idea. By the time I got home from work, I was ready to start outlining.

My current WiP was originally conceived as a trilogy, and as I wrote-on, it became more clear that I was working on Book 2. What I'm thinking is that I can spend November working on Book 1, so I'll have the basis for my present WiP, and it can flow better.

This fits well with my original plan. You see, the problem that I have with Fantasy books is that they're often written as a series. If I love a book, it could take years for the next installment. With this in mind, I wanted to have Books 1 & 2 ready when the first one was released, and a rough draft of Book 3. That way, it will be less than a year before the next book is out. It's all about doing for my readers as I would have my favorite authors do unto me. ;)

I guess what I'm driving at is this, I won't be around much in November. I mean, my Blogging has been pretty sporadic since Andrea went back to work, but I've done what I could to visit at least a few Blogs a day. That may fall by the way-side for November as well. Every minute that I can write – even one-handed, as I usually comment on your Blogs – gets me closer to the goal. When I figured out the daily count, the calculator divided it to 1666.66666(etc.). That made it pretty easy to remember. I'll need to find one of those widgets that plots your Work In Progress as a percentage now!

Bad News Blogfest.

2010-10-02T13:18:00.002-04:00

Welcome to my slightly-belated entry to the Bad News Blogfest, hosted by Francine at Romancing the Blog My apologies, but the time I had set aside to write this was spent in the Emergency Room with my baby's 103-degree fever. Apparently, it's nothing serious, but it took us nearly five hours to find that out. We didn't get home until about 12:30.
For this entry, I offer a segment from the third thread from my story, the spy who's trying to unite separate factions against the Evil Empire. Enjoy.

Yalip never liked to be kept waiting, so the three-days delay in hearing from Pledis had set her nerves on edge. They had learned a great deal – she and her two collaborators – in their time in the port of Manos, but time was short, and she had hoped for news much sooner. By the time Ansel came with the summons, her foreboding was palpable.

As they wove through the Market, Ansel betrayed nothing. Yalip had no doubt that He knew what she wanted to hear, but the young apprentice knew that it wasn't his place to deliver news. The way to the Alchemists shop was a convoluted one, through alleys, shops, and yards of livestock, all to thwart pursuit. Most such shops dealt in innocuous tinctures, and the ones that dabbled in the unapproved potions had to be more subtle.

When they finally arrived, Pledis' face was a mask, giving away nothing. “Step into the back with me, dear,” he offered. Yalip's stomach dropped into her slippers.
Tea had been steeping, since he expected her this time, and Pledis always tried to be a good host. Going straight to the pouring, he began. “I'm afraid the news isn't good. The Hadenatus Gypsies have declined to escort you the the mountains.”

Yalip's jaw clenched, and her hand tightened on her cup until it trembled, rippling her tea. “Tell them I'll pay double. It is crucial to reach those mountains.”

“It isn't the coin they refuse.” Pledis rheumy eyes were firm and sympathetic. “They simply won't venture to those mountains. They aren't persuaded by your cause, or anyone's cause, and they don't wish to get involved with The Ibis.”

Yalip sat bolt-upright, and nearly dropped her cup. “You told them who I was?” Her voice was barely less than a shout.

Pledis' voice took a quieter edge. “One doesn't deal with Gypsies with falseness. We share a currency of trust, and should they learn of your identity mid-journey, it would surely cost you your life.”

“Forgive me. Protecting my privacy is an old, deep habit.”

“I understand. They suggested that the Thelema Gypsies have dealings with the people you seek. They may be met at Darden. I've spoken to a Corsaire who's sailing on the morrow for that very region.”

Yalip leaned back with a resigned sigh. “Darden is crawling with Atlanteans, but if that's are best hope...”

“It may be.” The old Alchemist had always done what he could for Yalip, and he was just as disappointed that it couldn't be more. “These things always work out for the best.”

“Sometimes I envy your faith. Usually, I'm inclined to make my own luck. I appreciate your arrangements, and gladly accept. Please tell the Hadenatus that I don't begrudge them their decision, and wish them well.”

“I certainly will,” Pledis said with a wrinkled smile. “In the mean time, you have a voyage to prepare for.”

“We've been ready for three days. But if you have anything to help with sea-sickness, I'd be glad to have it. Von doesn't enjoy the Sea.”

“I have just the thing...” Pledis always did.

Calli's One!

2010-09-24T15:08:00.004-04:00

The first pictures are at home, when we got speghetti & lasagna from Andrea's favorite restaurant.

Tuesday the 21st was our darling girl's first Birthday. As Andrea said, “Somebody, on some plane of existence, thought it would be a good idea for us to have a child.”

She's started walking, though crawling's faster, so, in the spirit of efficiency, I'm sure, she still crawls when there's somewhere she really wants to be. She's also started imitating speech. Her current favorites are “Ha ha ha” from a story we read her, and “Oh Yeah.” Awesome. Occasionally, we'll get “Poopy,” “Allah” and “Buday” (Spell Check isn't helpful on that one. It's that toilet-fountain meant to replace shit-tickets.) We've decided that it's time to retire the “F-Bomb,” and other offensive words, 'cause you just know she won't repeat them until she's in the situation that would most embarrass us. Like meeting one of my super-sensitive bosses and saying “Fucktard” or “Oyster Rose.” Oh yeah, I went there.

On Sunday, we had her first Birthday Party (Thanks again mom-in-law for hosting), and she got her own cake. We were sure she would make a mess of it, and she did, but not half as bad as we would have expected. Still, it was easier to just strip her down and take her to the tub. And Calli learned that she loves cake & icing. A lot. When I tried to dress her after her bath, she was literally bouncing. I'm sure every parent before me has already learned this, but cake is like speed for babies. The cats are concerned; after a year of successfully staying out of reach, they suddenly don't have a chance.

It turned out to be a lovely time and more of an adult social & photo op. As Andrea said, it takes a village, and we were glad to have so many family & friends in attendance. There were two conspicuous absences though. Can you guess who? It was the two ladies who said “Oh, you just HAVE to have a chocolate cake. Don't worry, I'll bath her and help clean up.”

I Haven't Literally Messed Myself. However...

2010-09-22T14:47:00.002-04:00

It's been a week and a half since I've posted, and I'm sure that the parents among you know why. With Andrea back to work, the chores don't go away. Getting used to this has really taken a toll on all of us.
Calli and I had some great Daddy/Daughter days that left my just exhausted. Trying to take up my share of what Andrea was doing when she had more time has been a learning experience. I've always given my wife due credit for the effort she makes, but now I see that I barely had an inkling of what she did.
By the time I got Calli ready for Daycare, did some chores, made food for her, put the house in some semblance of order, then worked a shift, I was just done for! Even with my vitamin B and copious amounts of coffee, I'd get home, and just collapse.
I noticed this trend last year; the Blogesphere slowed down in September as parents got back into the swing of getting their kids off to school. Now, I'm one of them, and I totally appreciate when parents can squeeze a few extra-curricular activities into their day. Some of the more clever parents I know take the week off to get into the swing of the new school year. I've got next week off, but it's gonna be hairy.
You see, our daycare provider backed out. I get to spend my week off finding someone else to watch Calli so we can continue making an income. yay.
The previous paragraphs were written last Friday. It's been that kind of week. With Calli's Birthday party on Sunday (more on this on Friday for the Birthday Blogfest hosted by Michelle at Southern City Mysteries)we have again been crazy-busy.
Anyhoo, our daycare provider quite because our little angel was unable to settle. Like a lot of 1-year-olds, she was quite confused and distraught with the situation. Now, I'm losing my mind trying to find another provider. This brave soul gave her notice with a Facebook message. Twit.
So, sorry for the delay, but I'm sure you understand (even those who don't relate). If you're reading this, thanks for not giving up on me! And thanks to my wonderful mother-in-law who took pity on me and gave me the afternoon off!

Back to work.

2010-09-08T11:05:00.001-04:00

Like a million other things, the fear of a thing is worse than the thing itself
Yesterday was Andrea's first day back to work after a year. The day before (Labour Day), she had some butterflies and twitches. God love her, she handled it in true Italian fashion: she made brownies. If any single guys are reading this, try to find a woman who vents-out her anxieties in the kitchen. I know, it may seem that you want a woman who blows-off steam in the bedroom, but don't think for a minute that you'll always be able to keep up with that. Then, you'll have a woman that's anxious and frustrated.

Anyway, she had a better day than she was expecting. A few things have changed, but nothing she can't keep up with, and they went easy on her, not overwhelming her at all.

I spent the day with Calli, and asides from her not getting a proper nap, it went well. I got a lot done, and Andrea came home to a pasta dinner, wine and flowers. I was absolutely spent, and pretty witless. I've always honored stay-at-home-moms, knowing full-well that they have a huge job. Now I've got a glimpse of it, and boy-howdy, it takes a lot out of you.

Today is Calli's first day at Daycare. I thought I'd drop her off a few hours before work so I could get some stuff done. I'd heard that it would be hard to leave her the first time, but assumed that the time to write, play bass, vacuum, what-have-you, would be great, not worrying that I had to tend to her at any given moment. Well, I was fine, until I slowed down, and went into her room. Yeah, I'm a little emotional about it. I'm sure it'll get easier, but today, I miss her.

Thanks for all the great comments! I'm glad to hear that autumn is so popular, I thought Spring & Summer were the popular times, so it's nice to hear that I'm not alone. And yes, I think Blogging can go towards a word-count, unless you have a contract, and people are waiting for your work. (I'm looking at you, George RR Martin!)

"Fall" or "Rise?"

2010-09-06T14:19:00.002-04:00

The temperature has dropped, and thus begins my favorite time of year.

There are several reasons why I love Fall. For starters, all my favorite clothes are long-sleeved. This is probably conditioning from when I was a chubby kid, but even now, I'm happiest in jeans and either collared shirts or long-sleeved cottons.

This ties in nicely with another favorite aspect of autumn. Two of my favorite holidays are Thanksgiving and Halloween. One for socializing with family over huge dinners. One for dressing up and gallivanting about the neighborhood. As a child, I'd get a pillowcase full of treats – Huzzah! And I got to dress up like a Jedi or Ninja to boot. Nothing could go wrong with that plan, until the year I got egged by high-schoolers. I was getting too old for it anyway, but a new friend had talked me into it.

Believe it or not, this time of year still triggers my back-to-school mentality. It's time to buckle-down, and devote my energy in whichever direction I'm committed to, usually some form of study. After a few years of establishing my family, my natural inclinations have bubbled to the surface again. My commitment to music has found an expression. After a couple of jam sessions with my friend Kyle, formerly of Breach & Entry, we decided to work together on shows. Once he gets the recording done, he's gonna shop it around, and it won't be long before we're taking to the stage. It's been a very long time since I've played a live show, but I have no doubt that I'll settle into it like a pig in whatever it is that makes pigs happy.

And, of course there's the flip-side of my creative drive: I'm writing almost daily now, though I've yet to reach 1000 words a day. I've taken the advice from several of you to heart (Hart? Cheers, Sister!), that it's more important to have a daily practice than to push myself to an arbitrary goal. I would rather not run the risk of making it a chore, and then making myself so sick of it that it becomes tedious. Naturally, there's a time to wrestle with it until the words come, but that doesn't necessarily mean I need 300 words of shite just to reach a particular number.

What does help, however, it to switch scenes. I may be able to push a thread for 350-500 words before I run out of steam, but then I can pick another character, and see how far I can push the story from their point of view. Does anyone else work this way? What are your tricks to move things along without producing filler?

The End Is Near

2010-08-31T15:03:00.001-04:00

Shortly after getting up today, I realized that it's been a week since I've posted. I've noticed that before; after a Blogfest, I seem to take a bit of a breather. Not that they take a lot out of me, but I guess that all the reading involved afterwards, and the subsequent Following (and being Followed – thank you kindly!) is more time-consuming.

If I'm not posting, odds are that I've gotten caught-up in Life Happens. Nothing extraordinary, nothing tragic, just the day-to-day stuff. This week, however, there's been a bit of a cloud hanging over the house. Next week, after Labour Day, my sweet wife is going back to work. By Gar, it's been a year already! And boy-howdy, is she ever excited about it! If you've got a moment, I can lay it on even thicker.

In preparation, we've been leaving Calli with the 'sitter for half-days on Thursdays. We figure that an acclimatization period was wise, so it isn't such a shock to her system when it becomes three days a week (Gramma takes her on Mondays, and I have Tuesdays off). All was going well, until Thursday night (about 1:30 AM), she woke up in a tizzy. Then, again on Friday night, another nocturnal tantrum. Either she's getting separation anxiety, or the new teeth coming in are giving her grief. Sadly, her language skills aren't up to giving us a clear answer on the trouble that wakes her. On Saturday, we had the 'sitter and her family over for a BarBQ, because it would help Calli to get used to them, and they're just good people, and fun to spend an afternoon with. The day of cleaning and yard work was nearly enough to put me to sleep right there at the grill, but it's all worth it to flex our hospitality muscles and enjoy friendly company.

Has anyone out there had to start daycare for a 1-year-old? Can you enlighten me as to what kind of distress we're in for? I'm aware that kids are a lot more resilient than we tend to give them credit for, but I'm wondering what kind of misery our house has in store.

Rainy Day Blogfest.

2010-08-25T07:05:00.004-04:00

Welcome to the Rainy Day Blogfest. Feel free to leave honest feedback (I'm sure I need it), and swing by and see Christine, our gracious host at The Writer's Hole. Enjoy!

To set the scene' Gemei (and a friend, Radian) are draft-dodgers in a fantasy world. They had to stop for help at a farm when Radian became deliriously ill.

It was very late, well past midnight, when Abe decided it was time to go home. From a forgotten barn on the property of the swill-brewer, they stumbled along wagon tracks and cow paths by the light of the moon. Abe, who had said maybe twenty words in the four days Gemei had worked with him, now slurred bawdy songs and praise for his beautiful wife in turn. Gemei had slept in a corner most of the evening, after throwing up the alcohol that was better suited to dissolving boots. When he came to, he found some ale, as rain thundered and whispered on the old roof in turn. Finding no one his age, he spent much of the evening by a minstrel with his lyre. He now enjoyed a nice glow.

“When I met Merill, she was fine. Dressed plain, see, in her father's fields, picking...OOF!”

“Abe?” Gemei looked up to where he'd been, walking beside him, but Abe wasn't there. He heard him laughing, though. A laugh that cut short in a disgusted noise.

“Aw, bear spawn, was it raining?”

Looking up, Gemei said “I think it still is.” Among the trees, it was hard to tell.

“Well, plainly it was. Plain as the puddle soakin' my breaches. Help me up.” Clasping each other's wrists, Gemei tried to pull the big farmer to his feet. Next thing they knew, they were both in the puddle, Gemei gasping at the cold, and Abe laughing at his effort.

“Yer a good'un Gemmy.” He was as surprised by the arm over his shoulders as the kind words, “but ya ain't no fisherman.”

“Not yet, I...”

“No one'd send lads your age alone to Manos. No one who's been there would trust farm boys to find their way without getting' cheated or conned or worse. And anyone who hasn't thinks if half the stories are true, you's have your eyes stolen by ogres and sold to witch's. No, if your mam and paps are alive, they don't know where you are any more than you do.”

Speechless, Gemei opened and closed his mouth, hoping his story would come, but only a drunken fog filled his head.

“Boy, ya look like one o' them fish you keep talkin' 'bout. No, my guess id it's the Garrison's you're fleein' They'll get ya, sure as sunrise, if it's just the two of ya.” Gemei felt like he was half the age of his fifteen summers as Abe measured him. Looking away, he continued. “By next full moon, the Gypsy's will be passin' through. I'll have a word with 'em. No reason they won't let you travel with them for a season. They're beneath the contempt of the Garrisons, and it'll be easier to stay hid.”

“But, Gypsies? They're...”

“They're decent enough, if they got no cause to take exception to ya.”

Gemei could no longer spin yarns. He'd been laid bare, and the relief was palpable. “My thanks...”

“Pah. Let's get home. Mornin' comes early, and I'd rather work with a head ache than listen to a lecture.”

Born a Ramblin' Man...

2010-08-22T14:44:00.003-04:00

Thank you all for the well-wishes on my first Blogaversary. I'm still having a lot of fun with it, and will carry on as long as I have an Internet connection and at least one finger to type with.

Speaking of fun things I do with my fingers, last Sunday I did something I haven't done in WAY too long. You may remember me writing about going to see the local metal band Breach & Entry, who have since disbanded. Shit happens, eh? Being in a band can be a lot like a romantic relationship, making it subject to all the volatility that entails. Anyhoo, I work with the vocalist, and we decided to get together for a little jam. Nothing serious, just showing each other what songs we know, but it was good times all around. We're not establishing a band, but who knows what the future will bring, eh? It would be pretty sweet though if I was the first person to grace the covers of Writer's Digest and Bass Player in the same month :)

At work, we did our inventory last night. I got home at 11:20, bragging about how our store manager made us a steak-and-roast-potato dinner. Never one to be out-done, Andrea told me that Calli had taken three steps without support. “Oh! Oh, WOW!” Our little girl's growing up so fast! Well, she is 11 months, it is about time, but as much as we're encouraging her, we're trying to let her develop at her own pace. I think that it's gonna be a life-long struggle to encourage her growth while giving her the space to do it in her own tempo. Neither of us are terribly patient, either, but we're both pretty clever.

Dammit, why didn't Andrea brew-up a manual to go with this child? Well, she's pretty healthy and happy so far, and she hasn't choked on a clump of dog hair yet, so we can't be doing too badly. I'm confident enough when I'm actively parenting, it's just when I step away for a minute that I start fretting. Is this common among parents?

Stay tuned Tuesday for the Rainy Day Blogfest, where fiction that features (wait for it...) rain will be posted by some mighty talented writers. If you'd care to get involved, stop by and see Christine's site, The Writer's Hole.

First Blogaversary

2010-08-17T15:02:00.002-04:00

One year ago today, the hype finally caught up to me. After several months of listening to Writer's Podcasts, and hearing about how a writer needs a Blog to promote themselves and build community, I started Fatherhood And Other Common Terrors (FAOCT Say it out loud. Totally accidental). I used the OCT part to give myself permission to write on other topics, mostly work ventings, but whatever came to mind.
A friend at work told me about how some woman (I still don't know who) started a Mommy Blog and went on to support herself and her husband with it. So I spent a day off Searching for Parenting Blogs. I found Crazy Texas Mommy and Throwing Quartersthat day, which I still enjoy. I also surfed around using the “Next Blog” button at the top of the page (a Blogger feature, if you), and saw a wide range of what's possible, from niche markets, to photography, to whatever-you-please. I found an amazing resource, and I was sorry that I didn't get into it years ago.
I've said it often, and it bears repeating: The real value of Blogging is community. It just can't be described to those who aren't into it. Naturally, I tried to get my friends to stop by and check it out. Few did. But when I visited other Blogs and commented, I was amazed that they would return the courtesy. These were Bloggers who had hundreds of followers, yet they took time for my little start-up with maybe 5. Those included my wife and my sister (separate people), and somehow, myself. Yup, if you check, you'll find me following my own Blog. And I find me riveting! Hanging on my every word, I am.
Another Blogger, Braham at Alfred Lives Here I enjoy is also celebrating his first Blogaversary, but he's doing it better than I am. For every comment he gets, he will donate $1 to Doctors Without Borders, and $2 for every new follower. So at least stop by and check it out, and it's always a great read, so it's win-win-win.

Cussin' and Color

2010-08-14T16:44:00.001-04:00

Anyone who's tried it will tell you that writing is first and foremost an act of creation. Every story has it's characters and scenes that need to be formed from the actors imagination, but getting into Fantasy or Sci-Fi, there is so much more to conjure.

Profanity is something that really adds color to a story, but the words we use just wouldn't fit outside of our social context. I didn't put much thought into it until I wrote-in a farmer/veteran. Plainly, he wouldn't be speaking like the Aristocracy of my story, and not considering how he would speak differently would make my character's pretty 2-dimensional.

I remembered a conversation that I had with a friend at work. I had heard a customer use the phrase “Tabernac!” as a frustrated outburst. I asked him what it meant, and he didn't know, but he's heard a French-speaking friend use it on the golf course, so he knew it was pretty foul. My friend had been raised in Montreal, and only spoke French until he was 14.

He informed me that “Tabernac” was, as I suspected, derived from the location in a Catholic church that represents the presence of Christ. (In English, the word “Tabernacle” is used. It's from the Old Testament referring to the tent where the Ark of the Covenant was kept). Before explaining it to me, he said “As you know, a lot of swearing comes from religious words...” Well, yes, but I hadn't really considered it. That's why I love talking with bi-lingual people, they have a wider perspective, since words frame our thoughts, and they can think in two dialects.

Anyhow, to create the profanity of the world, I had to start with the religion of the world, and more importantly, how that religion was presented to the illiterate masses.

How do you deal with this? If your world-building is ground-up, like in Fantasy or Sci-Fi, how do handle this? How have you seen it handled by other authors?

Anyone up for another?

2010-08-11T20:51:00.002-04:00

Well, last night kinda sucked. Well, mostly, it was fine, and parts of it were even great ;). The bad part was writing a post while trying to do a Disc Clean-up. Sounds pretty simple, right? Until I tell you that my computer is older than dirt. Really, the monitor has a third dimension. I keep a book within reach so I don't get bored while it's doing it's thing – no shit.

I want to thank you all for your feedback on my fiction, it was truly heart-warming! And inspiring; It's made me really eager to park my arse and carry on with this WiP. All of you were really kind, and there was no shortage of constructive critique. For the record, the “wax loftily...” line was meant to be a little sarcastic. I would have laid it on a little thicker if there wasn't a word-count to consider.

Some of the participants said that they weren't inclined to post portions of their Work in Progress on the Internet, and I can understand that. Giving milk and selling cows, and all that. I thought I would post from my own WiP because if I'm gonna participate and spend time writing, I should leverage that time investment to get my novel a little closer to done. I hate to admit it, but I've been sitting on this for years, and it's about time I put in the time to get the ball rolling!

Some of you were wondering if I was going to post some more of this. Well, let me tell you about the next Blogfest I'm participating in. Christine at The Writer's Hole is hosting a “Rainy Day Blogfest”on August 25.

I have three threads through the story: The Aristocracy (illustrated last Saturday), a pair of draft dodgers, and a spy. On the 25th, I'll introduce the draft dodgers.
Thanks again, and I'll talk to ya soon!

High Drama Blogfest!

2010-08-07T07:19:00.005-04:00

For your consideration, I humbly submit my entry for DL Hammons, High Drama Blogfest. Honest feedback would be much-appreciated, and be sure to check out the other entries!

There was a different tone to the buzz of conversation in the Council Chambers this morning. Officials of all the realms had found their cliques, and talked excitedly about the impending session. Surely, the Regent would need to announce today what would be done about the threat of the Khemites.
Shani was wanting to stall, allowing another week for the Priest's envoys to return, but he was not hopeful. None of the Council knew of the second mission of envoys, and the official dispatch had returned the day before yesterday. The Councilors had heard what they expected to hear; what Shani suspected that they had paid to hear. The second batch of envoys was to be without such allegiances, and therefore, providing a less biased account of the threat.
The five-minute bell sounded, and Councilors made their way to their seats, as pages continued to drift about. Shani waited with the other heads, three priests and three governors, until the herald announced them.
“Representatives of the Blessed Realm, please rise for the Regent, Shaniraquey.” They emerged and strode to the dais amid polite applause.
The Seven took their places, Shani in the center, three Prime Governors on his right, and three High Priests on his left. All others were then seated.
Shani checked the day's itinerary, and found no surprises. His stomach lurched at the names, unofficial heads of factions, all. Naturally, all wanted to be heard by the Assembly, but time allowed only five for certain, and up to twenty if there was minimal debate.
After Aliber said Prayers and Adorations, Shani stood. “The Realm recognizes Councilor Alna.”
A handsome man in his early forties stood. “Blessed Regent and distinguished colleagues..,” Alna waxed loftily of the history and dignity of Atlantis. As was customary for any pronouncement. Finally coming to the point: “...and now, our way of life is threatened by savages! We can no longer deny that the Khemites are building a fleet to bring war to our very shores! We have provided them with every opportunity of education and culture, yet they rise up against us!” Approval exploded through the Assembly. Shani's face betrayed nothing, not the uncertainty of his inexperience, nor the tremble in his hands. Nothing good ever came from a Regent declaring war in his third month, but he was loath to show weakness.
Alna continued. “The reports of our envoys are irrefutable. We must descend upon them, and remind them of the Glory of Atlantis!” No one disagreed on this point, and it took several minutes to resume order. Shani dreaded the response, and relished the moments between now and then.
Shani stood and held up a hand for silence. “It has never been our way to make war. We are not the Blessed Realm through force of arms, but through commerce and culture. We have always sought peace, for the individuals, and for the nations. However,” grumblings were escalating quickly, “insolence cannot be tolerated. And insolence from those who were our kindred until the time of our grandfathers must be addressed. A disciplinary campaign will be launched as soon as it can be arranged.” He felt as though the words had been spoken by another, cryptic and hollow.

Blogfest for Dramatic Tension

2010-08-04T20:11:00.003-04:00

Just a quick note tonight. This morning I heard of a Blogfest for the fiction writers among us (and I know there's a few:) )

It's hosted by DL Hammons at Cruising Altitude, and the idea is to post something that illustrates dramatic tension. Swing on by and check it out!

And just to clarify on that “diet,” it wasn't meant to be an on-going thing, just a week-long cleanse. Made it 5 ½ days; not too bad:)

We Deviated...

2010-08-02T10:06:00.002-04:00

Last time I posted, I was bragging away about our turbo, warrior-like will power. That was about 26 hours before we deviated (it's nicer to say than “Failed”). In the end, it was the monotony that got to us. When we eventually got a different element added to our diet, it would grow tired fast. For example, when I last posted, it was Beef day, and immediately after putting it up, I went outside (at about 10:10 AM) and Bar-b-qed up some un-garnished steak. It was the most delightful meal I'd had in ages, but by that night, we were pretty tired of beef.

By Saturday afternoon, we broke down, split a chocolate chip muffin, and finished off some semi-stale Doritos. Yummers. That night for dinner, we had Thai Coconut Chicken (it was from a mix by Knorr, or Club House. I'm a big fan of credit-where-credit-is-due, but I'm not gonna dig through the garbage for it).

Yesterday, however, I brought leftover beef & vegetables to work for munching, and only got a granola bar from the vending machine, as opposed to a few butter tarts, chocolate bars, and/or muffins. This morning, we had a grapefruit for breakfast. I'm hoping to carry-on this trend of better eating, because I'm pretty darn sick of the lethargy that often weighs me down. I mean, I'll be pretty damn gung-ho at work, but on my own time, I gotta psych myself into any physical activity. If I mow the lawn, or walk the dog (either can take about an hour), I feel like I dragged a car for three blocks; Pathetic!

Another consideration is that Calli was born when I was 35, meaning that our first child will start school when I'm 40. That's pretty darn sobering, and I'd like to be healthy enough to enjoy my kids in good health.

Thank God I've got this space to make me accountable, putting it out there like this makes me more likely to follow-through on this! It sure helped with my writing; I'm not at 1000 words a day, but I'm almost daily! I know that the word-count isn't as important as the daily practice, but it's better to shoot for the moon and hit a tree, than to shoot for a tree and hit a rock.

Detox-arific!

2010-07-30T10:05:00.002-04:00

There are some Blogs that talk about food. Some devote a day a week about an interesting thing they conjure-up, some post their week's meal plan, and some just sporadicly put up recipes when they come across them.

I've only done one food post (that I recall) about Andrea's Birthday dinner. There's a reason I don't talk about it a lot. While I was fortunate to marry a fabulous cook, that usually covers only one meal a day. While I'm at work, I usually live out of the vending machines. A little embarrassing, but there it is.

That changed this week. Have you ever heard of the cabbage soup diet? It's kinda like a week-long detoxing program. Along with this really awful cabbage & tomato soup (that we're not bothering with this time), you have:

Day 1: Fruits
Day 2 : Vegetables
Day 3: Fruits and Vegetables
Day 4: Bananas & Milk
Day 5: Beef & Tomatoes
Day 6: Beef & Vegetables
Day 7: Brown Rice, Vegetables & unsweetened fruit juice.

On Day 4, I loved the milk, since it's the closest thing to a carb I've had in days (on telling my wife this, I was informed that root veggies are also carbs, but I had the association of breads, and all that rich, heavy loveliness that I thrive on). I weighed myself yesterday morning and found that I'd lost 8 pounds (for the first time in too many years, I'm under 200 lbs). Now, I'm a little more tolerant of the deprivations!

Yesterday was the worst; my sugar-withdrawals had peaked! I was crabby as hell all day (and customers were crabby too, which led to a minor altrication. By the time it got to a supervisor, it got blown way out of proportion, and I got as talking-to.) I guess that there was plenty of toxicity to be purged from my system, eh?

Now, we're on beef day, and we'll be grilling steaks before noon – Heavenly! We're also trading tomatoes for grapefruit, since the acidity is about the same.

So here's hoping we make it before losing our discipline, or our minds. Oddly, I was something of a ditz yesterday; I had a hard time finding the words I wanted, with a whole lot of “...um...you know, that thing...” Yeah, I was a barrel of laughs, and insightful...

Naturally, every food commercial I see makes me want to run to a supermarket or drive-through, but so far, I'm pretty pleased with the results, so hopefully, I can stick to a healthier diet. There will be more lee-way than I'm currently allowing, but not the over-indulgence I usually do. I'll have to adopt the Parent's Mantra here: “We'll see...”

Back At It.

2010-07-24T09:06:00.002-04:00

Yesterday was a triumph. After about seven months of dormancy, I've dusted-off my Work in Progress (clever title, I know. Is it any wonder I fancy myself a wordsmith?) and did about 620 words. Last week, I had a 600+ word day and a more lax 340 word day. To the more experienced writers who read here, it may like small numbers, but I'm just tickled pink to be back at it.

I need to thank the Blogging community for this. I briefly mentioned my WiP awhile ago, and a few of you seemed interested, so I thought, “Time to get off my duff with this thing!” Another motivator is NaNoWriMo; I only heard of it last year, and I wasn't up to it, not by a long shot. So now I'm trying to get my daily output up, 'cause I think it needs to be about 1600 words a day for NaNo. (My Soundtrack post was over 900, so I'm optimistic.) My short term goal is to get to 1000/day by Sept.

So far, I've had a bit of a handicap (besides a full-time job). For those who haven't written fiction, there's two main strategies. Outlining, where you map out your story, then then go from that direction and flesh it out. Then there's discovery writers, who start with an element (character, scene, conflict, etc), then sit, type, and see where they wind up.

I've tried outlining this story, but somehow, my brain won't work it out. So I sit and type and see where it takes me. It's kinda like walking at night with a flashlight, I only see a few feet ahead, and figure it out as I get to it. So as I truck-along, I'm not only progressing the story and choosing my words, I'm discovering characters, naming them, and figuring out their role, taking up valuable writing time!

I figure that this way, I'll have a LOT of editing to do; this bad boy will need to be tightened right the hell up, because much of what I'm churning out won't serve the story, except in my own comprehension of it.

It would help mightily if I could do all of this in my head, and just spend my writing time producing something that's closer to a finished product. When I put the process down like this, it makes it look like I should try harder to outline. But I've heard that Steven King is a discovery writer, and Dan Brown said that he writes ten pages for every one he keeps. Maybe there's something to it.

What say you? How do you crank out your work?

Soundtrack

2010-07-20T16:03:00.003-04:00

This “Soundtrack” thread has been a difficult one to ponder, and I'm still not sure I've got it down.

To this day, I hate ti music that my mom introduced me to: 70's country. Conway Twitty & Loretta Lynn, and the like. All the whine, and none of the rhythm. Then my step-dad introduced some more “B-Side” type music into the home, Cat Stevens, Captain & Tennille (sp?) and Rough Trade. The latter left a huge impression with “High School Confidential.” The pulsing beat and innuendo grabbed me as much as it confused me – the cover of the album had a woman, but the sultry purr seemed too deep. And just how was she “cream(ing) her jeans”? I pictured her in the bathroom with a tub full of dairy, doing something to her pants that looked like a cross between hand-washing and a tantrum (I was 8 at the time).

My first real “Soundtrack” choice would be “Synchronicity 2” by The Police. Rock video's were just becoming popular, and MTV (and it's Canadian cousin, MuchMusic) were just about to be born, and we just had the Friday night video show. As our parents were entertaining, my sister & I would eat in the living room, and enjoy this video, along with Duran Duran's “Wild Boys,” Pat Benetar's “Love is a Battle Field” (“how angry could they be if they're ending in a dance sequence?”)

To sum-up my later elementary school years, I've chosen “Christopher Tracey's Parade” from Prince's Parade album (which featured “Kiss”). It escaped the attention of the masses, and did what it wanted because it wanted to, while wondering why no one else “got it.” 'Nuff said.

For the first half of High School, Aerosmith's “Young Lust” seems to fit. Up-beat and blusey, talking a lot about wanting it, and not saying much about getting it. About sums up most of our High School experiences, don't it?

Then, for my second half of High School, I got religious. I'd found and accepting community that didn't focus on the “it” I wasn't getting anyway. Plus, I was always spiritually inclined, and a white guy in the Western world, ergo, I must be a Christian, right? RIGHT?! A suiting song (which finally just occurred to me, and I need to find the cassette to credit it properly) would be “My Jesus Is All,” by The Resurrection Band (or just plain “Rez”) with Grace and Glory from their live album...well, I can't find my cassettes just now, but it's a good song!

Then I went to Bible College in BC. The title track of Undercover's “Devotion” album (listed on my Dessert Island 15) would be played here. It's largely about frustration with the community:

“I just came here to find my way,
To find a way to find my way.
All you do is talk about people...
All I know is there's no answers here.”

Then resolves back to the point,

“Raise your hands it's time to fly higher,
Raise your hands, it's time to fly.”

After this, I started playing in a band with my best friend. I think that The Beatles “Sgt Pepper's Lonely Heart's Club Band” would go nicely here, and it reflects our shining optimism here. After a few years, it ended and he got married (play Pearl Jam's “Black”) and I found a home in another, much heavier band. I felt like we were five faces of the same persona, and it was the happiest I'd been in a long time, so I'll play Korn's “Got The Life” at this point. Then, like most bands (I'd say “All bands,” but I think all-inclusive statements are inherently false), it went to shit.

During this time, I got into a very unhealthy relationship, where she would try to make me feel worthless so I'd think I couldn't do better; how cliché is that? Enter Audioslave's Cochise:
Well I've been watchin' while you've been coughin'
I've been drinking life while you've been nauseous.
Go on and save yourself
Take it out on me.
Then, I finally came to my senses and moved out. From the same album, “What you are”
And when you wanted blood I cut my veins.
And when you wanted love, I bled myself again.
And here I go, far away, I know you, you'll find another slave.

Twelve years after I left, I returned to Ontario. I figured that my small town was lucky to have me, and I'd learn them a thing or two about urban sophistication. I found my home town had grown up, and I had some of that still to do myself. “Back to School” by The Deftones would suit this phase.

Then, seven months later, I met the woman who would become my wife. I'll go back to Aerosmith with “Deuces are wild.”

“I love to look into your deep (blue) eyes,
They talk to me and seem to hypnotize,
They say the things nobody dares to say,
And I'm not about to let you fly away.
My lover with no jet lag
Stayin' up all night in the sleepin' bag
got a heartbeat rhythm with the subterrain
I get stoned on you girl, there's no need to explain."

Then, four years later, Calli was born. Creed's “Arms Wide Open” says it all nicely, about how I want to teach her to embrace the world for what it is, and enjoy all there is to love about it.

And there you have it, the songs that illustrate my life. I'll probably think of more appropriate songs as soon as I post this, though :)

Vacation Pictures.

2010-07-17T20:09:00.003-04:00

Here, at long last, are some pictures from our vacation. In the New Post window, they're coming up as a lot of text, so I can't comment on them individually. As my long-term followers know, I'm not very practiced at putting up pics, so please bear with me in this weakness. Seriously, it's like the Matrix, where I'm expected to see images in the computer's language.

They Were Here Just A Minute Ago...

2010-07-13T16:03:00.001-04:00

Firstly, I have an apology to make. I totally forgot to mention the Podcast of fellow Blogger extrodenaire, Adam at Throwing Quarters. It's been awhile since I've heard a new one, but the beauty of the Podcast is that all of the previous episodes are available, so you can go back and enjoy them all.

A couple of weeks ago, the lovely & talented Jessica Bell of The Alliterative Allomorph wrote about losing followers. She wasn't sure why, and seemed to be feeling a little stung.

About three weeks ago, this happened to me too. Suddenly. I looked, and I was down by 2 followers, and I wasn't sure why. I don't think I had posted anything particularly offensive. I'm wondering if Blogger does occasional housekeeping and closes inactive accounts. I tried checking the Followers page, and I didn't see any way to see who had canceled their subscription, and I didn't recognize any absences. Oddly, I've gained about 6 new Followers since then, so it's nice that I'm still going onward and upward. But still...(Does anyone else find it a little awkward to refer to “Their Followers”? It sounds a little culty to me.)

As for myself, I haven't ever un-Followed someone. There's only one I no longer visit (on purpose), someone who mostly posts his own graphic designs (not you Matt), but never followed me back, or responded to my comments. Not that I automatically neglect those who don't comment or respond – one of my faves Followed me back, but rarely comments. That's cool, people are busy and when you re-follow everyone who signs up, it can get pretty busy in the ol' Google Reader. The issue I took with the first one is that I was one of his first Followers (on the recommendation of a Blogger friend of his), and he seems to be using his Blog as a resume. That, I believe, is a fabulous use of the Blogosphere, but since I'm not in his market, I'll spend my (precious little) computer time on the Blogs I resonate with, and especially with those who are more into the community of it. My pen-palls with less waiting!

I Need A Fix...

2010-07-10T08:29:00.001-04:00

There are two pretty serious addictions that I'm enjoying right now. One should run it's course pretty soon, and the other is ongoing.

While on vacation, our gracious hosts introduced us to the HBO show, True Blood.
We're almost through the first season (12 episodes), and it's like candy. The premise is set two years after vampires have revealed themselves to the public due to a synthetic blood that allows them to sustain themselves without being a threat to the population. The show is set in a small town in Louisiana, where they're encountering their first vampires. While there's plenty of fear, the protagonist (and her grandmother) are pretty liberal, as though they've learned everything they need to know about vampires from Oprah. It's a very adult show, with all the swearing and sex that entails. It seems that they're trying really hard to prove that they aren't re-packaging Twilight. I don't mind it, but some friends found it a little excessive. What I'm enjoying is the Southern Gothic flavour (Up yours, Spell Check, I'm keeping the 'u' in “Flavour”). If you'd asked me a week ago just what “Southern Gothic” was, I'd say that I'd heard of it, and that would be the end of my contribution. Now, I know what it looks like, and I must say, I'm finding Southern Gothic to be mighty tasty!

My other indulgence goes back about a year, and I can't believe there aren't more people into it. A couple months after I got my Ipod, I discovered Podcasts, and since they're all free (and we all know how that F-word will get attention:) ), I was free to experiment. For the uninitiated, it's like getting 15-90 minutes of talk radio on any subject you could imagine, and they release regular shows. (there are video Podcasts, but I'm not as familiar with those). Seriously, have you heard of “Thelema”? It's a Kaballa/Yoga-based belief system that maybe 1/10,000 people have heard of, and I've found 3-5 Podcasts about it. There are some good writing Podcasts too, my favorites being “I Should Be Writing” and “Writing Excuses.”
I lot of radio shows have podcasts, as do some magazines, such as the “New Yorker Short Fiction” Podcast. Another one I like is the “APM Dinner Party Download” for general conversation topics for – you guessed it – your next dinner party. `

Does anyone have any Podcasts that they like? Like I said, it's an addiction, and if you have a suggestion for my next fix, I'd be much obliged.

Happy Aniversary Vacation!

2010-07-08T15:03:00.001-04:00

Thank you all for the well-wishes! Our time away was great. We got to stay in their only cabin (which I helped put the floor into last May) at Little Banff, which was handy since setting-up Camp Calli takes a lot of room. She even got her own room, which was helpful since we didn't want to go to bed at 7:30 when she did. We were also close to the lake, which was convenient on this super-hot week. It's been in the high-20's, which in Fahrenheit translates as DAMN HOT! I broke into a sweat changing her diaper. We got to enjoy several family soaks in the lake, with Calli enjoying her inner-tube with the mesh seat & hood for the sun. Being at the water front had another advantage; we caught a lot of wind through the cabin (see: Damn Hot!). I'll have pictures soon, but the camera was borrowed, so I'm just waiting on the email.

One of the owners has finally taken my advice (non-subtle prodding) and began writing a biography. She's led an interesting life, and has a talent for it. Just reading her emails, it's plain that she has a talent for it. When we were there, she was inspired to write about us. I leaned over and said “...handsome...clever...” I'm sure that is how I was portrayed. When it's due for release, I'll be sure to keep ya'll posted.

Even though we had all of our regular Calli-sustenance duties, it was a relaxing time. We went up after work on Sunday, got there about 6:30, and stayed until Wednesday afternoon. We would have stayed longer, but we had dinner reservations at Oscar's, an upscale restaurant in town, to celebrate our 3rd aniversary. I'm tempted to get all 'Foodie' on you, so I'll restrain myself to telling you about desert: Rhubarb & Rosemary Creme Brule. The Rosemary part intrigued us, and to be honest, it was great! Who's have thought, eh? They gambled, and they surely landed on their feet with that one!

I've still got a few days off, so it'll be a lot of relaxing, and a couple engagements. Hopefully, more relaxing than anything. And writing. Now that I've mentioned a work-in-progress, I feel more accountable to pick up that torch!

Vacation! Huzzah! (that's Hebrew for 'Hurrah!')

2010-07-04T07:03:00.001-04:00

I'm going to be gone for a few days; at 4:30 today, I'm starting vacation, and we're going to our friend's RV park. They always spoil us with a great trailer for our anniversary get-away, and fortunately, they were spared last week's tornado, though they were only about 20 kms (15 miles?) away.

Now, if I was one of those super-duper daily Bloggers, capable of bending the laws of time and space to get daily posts up, my absence would be more obvious. But I only got one post up last week, so I thought I'd drop ya'll a quick note to let you know my most recent excuse for being away. It will be more obvious in your Comment spaces, where I make an effort to let you know that I've been by with whatever poignancy I can offer with the one hand I'm not feeding the baby with.

Wish us luck with keeping some semblance of routine with Callie in a strange environment. See you real soon, and to our Southern neighbors, Happy July 4th. (You may have noticed that I didn't have a Grand Canada Day Extravaganza. It's not that I don't love my country, but I just got absorbed with my little suburban corner of the world.)

Recovering.

2010-07-02T07:36:00.001-04:00

Damn, it's been crazy. I've barely had any time to myself to write, or anything. Two of my last four days off have been visiting family – always a good time, but being an introvert, it's not re-charging time. Yesterday was a total housework day, and we both worked like we expected the Queen to visit. Fortunately, Calli was in good spirits, so we could do what needed to be done. Then we had the oh-so-clever idea to reward ourselves with a bottle of wine on the patio. With a mix of fatigue and pollution, we weren't too productive today ;)

Calli got us all excited with her standing a couple weeks ago, but now she hardly does it! It's a little disappointing, but I know that once she's walking, there'll be no keeping up with her, so I'm just relishing it while it's relatively easy. When I was talking to my dad about it, he broached the topic of the leash. It seemed that he was trying to be delicate, expecting us to be 'Liberal' and free-range with our parenting. Andrea and I both have a healthy dose of Hippie, and believe she should be free to discover on her own. We also believe that she'll discover more if she doesn't get lost or hit by a car. We're all about the leash.

I was thinking of this when I saw a mother in a store tell her child to hold onto the buggy. I'm pretty confident that even the best-behaved child can get distracted and wander off, so perhaps some handcuffs would be in order. Of course, steel cuffs would be just cruel, we'd need the furry ones.

You may have heard that last week, southern Ontario, and the states in the Great Lake region got a natural hammering. First, there was an earth quake – the first I've heard of in this region. Then that night, tornadoes touched down. Midland, where my parents and sister work lost a car dealership, a factory, and – wait for it – a mobile home park. Really, I didn't just make that up. I'm really glad that we didn't just legalize gay marriage, of pot, or else we'd be hearing from Fundamentalists about how we were being punished, or warned. So, what were we being warned about? Well, it was days before the G8 & G20 Conferences. Then, at the end of the Conferences, Toronto experienced some flooding! They said it was from the rain, but I think it was from fire-hosing so many protesters!

A Good Shower Story.

2010-06-25T07:20:00.003-04:00

As a matter of course, I tend to get up with Calli in the mornings because I'm a morning person (my wife is not), Andrea puts in the lion's share of time at parenting, and deserves to sleep in, and it give me time to read Blogs as I feed her. I won't wake Andrea unless I need to to go to work, and then, not until the last minute.

The other day, Andrea was still sleeping, but a shower had become a non-negotiable necessity. So I bring Calli into the bathroom with some toys, shut the door, and hop in. I've done this before, and I figure that it'll be fine. However, when I'm, almost done rinsing my hair, she starts crying. Not a physical-trauma wail, or a frustrated-and-fed-up complaint, somewhere in the middle. When I pulled open the curtain, I didn't see her, and there's no way a 20+ pound child should be able to hide in a 6x5 space! Turns out, she had pulled herself up on the tub, on the faucet-end, behind the outer-curtain, and was getting showered-on on the front half of her head. No wonder she was giving a confused/upset cry! She was unresponsive to my verbal comforts, so my shower got cut short, and she learned she could survive such a trauma. I'm sure that it was the first of hundreds of half-showers.

When I told this story to my co-workers, I finished with “I bet when you got up this morning, I'll bet you said to your self 'Gee, I sure hope someone at work has a good shower story.' You're welcome.

Last week, I did something kinda stupid. I read something about Obama that flew in the face of my beliefs, and I knee-jerked and let everyone know what a disappointment he was. I didn't do any digging of my own, and didn't even read the articles referenced in the Blog I read.

As it happens, the solution that Norway offered was a chemical that wasn't approved by the American Food & Drug Administration. This seems like a right-flimsy excuse to me for his “Thanks, but no thanks.” Granted, he's under a lot of pressure, and whatever he does will have the Conservative members of American media crawling up his ass to do Tae Bo. Is there any reason he couldn't call the FDA to get 'all hands on deck' to comb through the testing other nations have done, to see if what they'd be using was better or worse than what they've been using?

Another instance in the saga has Obama directing these offers to BP. Now THAT makes sense, except he has publicly taken responsibility to deal with this.

Some theorists have said that he has let the leak go on so he can reinforce his platform on off-shore drilling, or going to cleaner energy. Here's the rub: he could have used this tragedy politically if it had lasted only a week, or a day!

It could be argued that a Canadian has no place bitching about American politics, but a cursory observation will show what affects Washington has on the world. More tangibly, if Il Nino/a affected our climate here in the Great Lakes region, it's easy to imagine that this will have it's ramifications too.

In conclusion, sorry to all. I'm not an Obama-hater, but I'm a little more cautious with my affections. After all, GitMo's still open.

My First Father's Day.

2010-06-23T10:28:00.001-04:00

My first father's day was fantastic! Calli got me a beautiful key chain locket with her picture of her in it (I spent Sunday showing it off to everyone at work. Well, mostly the ladies, 'cause the guys see it and think “Yup. That's a kid alright”). Andrea got me Slash's new CD, and a book: “The Secrets of the Freemasons” by Pat Morgan The book is great, and timely, as I finished another book the day before. It gives away more than I thought they would, considering it's written more like a recruitment pamphlet than a conspiracy revelation. The CD is FREAKIN' AWSOME! It features a bunch of guest vocalists (kinda like Santana did), like Ian Ashbury (of The Cult), Chris Cornell, Fergy (not a fan, but these songs are freaking steller!), Ozzy, Alice Cooper, Cyprus Hill, M Shadows from Avenged Sevenfold, etc. Slash shows a fantastic versatility without losing his particular flavor that makes him so distinctive. Look at me, gushing like a 12-year-old!

When I got home, Andrea had Veal Parmesan ready for dinner with garlic bread – TREATS!! and black forest cake. Does it get any better?

Normally, I don't like to get attention because it happens to be that time of year (I'd rather get attention for being a clever smart-ass!), but this was different. With all of the focus on fatherhood, it struck me that I'm part of a bigger institution. There are a few words in the language (or any other language) that trigger a lot of sentiment, or baggage as the case may be. Many of the Blogs I've read focus on the hero's that raised us, but there's a few stories of regret too.

Most of the time, it's an absolute delight to spend time with my little girl, but sometimes, she's having a bad day, sometimes I am, but I still spend the time with her, because I don't want to be another cat's-in-the-cradle story. Also, odds are that she will grow up to date men who are a lot like me, and I find that mighty sobering! She's always easy to love, but not always easy to spend time with, so I drink it in when she's all smiles and giggles, and rock and soothe her when she's in an exhausted tizzy. Like every other relationship, she will test my patience, and a view of the bigger picture will serve me well to keep it all in context.

Word To Your Papa.

2010-06-19T20:04:00.001-04:00

Like a lot of people of my generation, I have two dads, and not in a “Fabulous” sort of way. For most of my life, I've considered my step-dad to be my Father.

'Papa' came into our lives when I was eight and my sister was six. He was a friend-of-a-friend of my mom's, and one night after the divorce, we were at a Friday night social gathering, and he talked my mom into taking a ride on his motorcycle, as she had never ridden one before. Slick move, since 28 years later, they're still together.

He had a rough go of it, too. The benefit of informally adopting kids that age is that he got to miss the diaper years. He also missed some key formative years, so he had some somewhat developed little people to go along with his new girlfriend.

There were some glitches, but at the end of the day, he did a marvelous job. As a father, he always (well, usually) had the patience needed to deal with us as kids. He was fond of taking any opportunity to teach us something, not in a lecturing sort of way, but more questioning, like “what do you see here that's relevant,” or “how do you suppose that happened.”

Not that he didn't lecture, but it was a form of discipline. He wasn't inclined to physical punishment, but I seem to recall lectures that could last 3-4 hours. He claims that I'm exaggerating the time, but that's how I remember it.

Of all the fond memories, it's the every-day ones that warm my heart. Summer nights at the fire pit. Autumn wood-cutting sessions. Rubber band fights. Teasing, teasing, and more teasing. Taking guns to the dump to make the cans dance. Board game nights. Inappropriate jokes. I could go on....

When I got married, he honored me by being my best man, and when I have a son, I'll get to fulfill my life-long ambition of naming him after his grandpa.

So today, love and gratitude to my Papa, and a hearty “Cheers!” to all the men who understand that they are practicing the noblest of professions: Parenthood.

Be Here Now!

2010-06-15T08:53:00.001-04:00

Just a note to say, "here is something that everyone needs to read about the oil spill." Seriously, I was an Obama fan until I read this...
http://throwingquarters.com/2010/06/15/where-is-our-help/#comment-1381

Who's Awsome..?

2010-06-12T10:45:00.004-04:00

The job I had to do at work today was a little boring, so I did an informal survey. I asked anyone who was there what kind of bumper sticker I could put on the car to make our kids not want to borrow it, looking for the maximum “I can't be seen it THAT” factor.

My contribution came from Comic Book Guy on The Simpsons (who are, by the way, older than a lot of the people I work with. Now, THAT'S a sobering thought.) “My other car's the Millennium Falcon.” If I find it, I'm totally getting it!

Along the same lines, “My other car's a pair of boots” and “My other car's a piece of shit too.” Someone suggested “My other car's a 10-speed.” Funny, but without the embarrassing factor.

Another good one with some embarrassment potential is “Stay back, or you'll be in phaser range.”

An honorable mention goes to “Stay back of my poo-throwing monkeys will get you,” but I think teens would be fine with this message.

One mother suggested something that alluded that their parents had had sex in the car. What that led to was our winner: “Viagra saved our marriage.”

Now I'd like to hear your suggestions, what kind of bumper sticker would discourage kids from asking for the car?

It seems that the awards abound, and this is an especially unique honor!
Steven Tremp http://stephentremp.blogspot.com/has created an award, and I am a first-generation recipient of the Awsomous Maximus Award! Oh My, Oh My (fanning self). It is a prerequisite for the Meat & Potatoes Award, for veteran Bloggers who have weathered a few storms. If I can get a pre-qualifier for such an honor after about 10 months of Blogging, well slap-my-ass, I'm flattered and humbled. Thanks Steven!

I have a few nominations for the Awsomous Maximus, focusing on newer Blogs that show great promise! Many awards have floated around lately, so many have been nominated for other awards, but they are none-the-less deserving!

Ella's Edge gives consistent offerings from her life, her family, and her home town, with a lot of honesty and charm.

Mommy Loves Stiletto's is a riot, but not for the faint of heart. If you're uncomfortable with your naughtiness and that of others, skip this one.

Celebrating her first Tartaversary today, Confessions of a Watery Tart is another fun one with a mischievous wink. For the ladies, there are plenty of Beefcake pics, for everyone , there's some fine writing, and insights into the craft.

About 14 months old, Ramblings of a Domestic Goddess really hit her stride this year, and posts thematically DAILY! That's right, she's that hardcore!

Less than a year old, Mithril Wisdom offers helpful reviews on all things geeky, and other insights.

There it is, Live Long and Be Awsome! And don't forget to leave some bumper sticker ideas :)

She Weebles and She Wobbles...

2010-06-10T06:50:00.002-04:00

As always, thanks for all of the comments! Blogger seems to be having quite the glitch issues, with comments being eaten, repeated, etc. By and large, they provide a solid service, though, and every now and then, there's gonna be some trouble.
My story (when I get the time to devote) is on the last days of Atlantis. Has anyone seen anything like this around? I'd hate to regurgitate someone else's work. And there are no elves, they just don't fit, and it's hard to do something unique with elves. Having said that, Heather Bear did just that with “Blood & Iron” and “Whiskey & Water.”

On the domestic side, today was a damn exciting day, Calli has stood on her own for the first time! She's been pulling herself up on anything that'll hold her weight & stay still for a few weeks now, and she's finally ventured to let go! It was only for 2-5 seconds, but we squealed none the less. For one instance, Andrea was phoning a friend, and Calli stood just in time for the answering machine to kick-in. “Ooooh! OOOH! She's STANDING!!! She's standing ON HER OWN! call me back.” Michelle must have been laughing her ass off!

Bet I can guess what the seasoned parents are saying: “You're in for it now.” Yeah, that makes sense. We spend a year striving to get them to walk and talk, then 15 years telling them th sit down and shut up.

Andrea said that she hopes that we're this excited about our future children hitting these landmarks. Well, yeah, but it won't be the same. There will never be another first. Such a raw deal for the others, but I'm sure that it will be special in it's own way.

If ya'll are interested, my lovely wife has started a Blog to document her healthy lifestyle journey. Feel free to stop by Motherhood and Other Controversies and show some love!

2010-06-08T07:38:00.001-04:00

Well, lookit the gig brains on me! I was half way through my shift yesterday, and I thought, “did I put up a picture of the Versatility Award?” And, I forgot to space-out my paragraphs, leaving a big block of words that can be a little hard on the eyes. In my defense, I'd spent a couple hours with it already, and was a little eager to get it done, but here it is:

Thanks for your patience! Have a great day!