tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-89699376142383539182024-03-19T01:01:37.748-04:00Fatherhood & Other Common TerrorsKinda Like Beer in a Wine Glass.Will Burkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10158149526658590324noreply@blogger.comBlogger202125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8969937614238353918.post-36989523297866035842012-01-01T20:10:00.000-05:002012-01-01T20:10:26.402-05:00My New Home.Hi! I've moved, so come on by to my new home at <a href="http://will-somewhatepic.blogspot.com">Somewhat Epic</a>. Look forward to seeing you there, and I hope that you all had a great Christmas & New Years.Will Burkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10158149526658590324noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8969937614238353918.post-41190991342950631022011-12-16T06:07:00.002-05:002011-12-16T06:07:49.503-05:00Up for a potential sh*t storm.It’s 5:45 in the morning, and I’m up. Boo. It didn’t mean to, but Chickerdoodles decided that she would be awake. This doesn’t happen very often, and I suppose that I should be grateful for that, but not at the moment.<br />
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Usually, I’d just let her fuss away until she settled herself down, but she has been getting her second-year molars, and she’s been fussy and fevery. Not a big deal, but she’s also been filling her diapers with Gusto! Oh yeah, changing her just won’t do; she’s had to be showered. Last Tuesday, “it” made its way down to her foot. I should really be sharing this story at high schools – “Now do you want to wear condoms?” One morning, she got up and she had been in such a condition for a while, and had a diaper rash that looked like a burn. It was down-graded to ‘red’ by the next day, but it was pretty awful for her. <br />
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Mostly though, all is well with her. She’s still too young to understand what’s going on with Christmas, but she’ll be pretty excited to unwrap presents, I think. I’ll keep you posted on that. I think that it’s only going to get better as we get to enjoy Christmas through her eyes. Right now though, we’re just re-decorating the tree as she pulls off the ‘treasures’ to run around the house with, and we repair and re-hang them. We usually put up the tree on the first Saturday of December, but it may change to the Monday before Christmas for a few years, since it’s getting maddening. Oh well, in ten days, it will all just be a fridge full of memories.Will Burkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10158149526658590324noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8969937614238353918.post-15792225362021362762011-12-05T21:26:00.000-05:002011-12-05T21:26:11.423-05:00Another Triumph!That’s right; I snatched victory from the jaws of defeat, and got my 50 000 words for NaNoWriMo. On Sunday the 27th, I was already behind, and had had a particularly rough day at work. (It was my own fault – I let my energy get sapped by being pissed off at a co-worker.) I got a modest 1000 words that day. I was nearly ready to throw in the towel.<br />
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So, on Monday, I really knuckled-down after work and did a record-breaking 2700 words. Then, I had a couple glasses of wine (a writer’s vice if there ever was one), and thought, ‘I’m going to set-up my next scene,’ and got another 450 words done. It was starting to look like something that could be saved!<br />
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Tuesday, I usually have Daddy-Daughter-Day, but through the miracle of wife-taking-the-day-off-for-a-doctors-appointment, I was able to get a solid hour of writing in the morning, plus two-hour space between dinner and Bath/Bed procedure, in addition to nap-time, and after Chickerdoodles went to bed, I got a barn-burning, Rip-Snorting, Record-Breaking 4200 words in a day! By Wednesday the 30th, I only had 660 words, and, well, the story kinda tells itself after that.<br />
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I really owe this victory to my wife. Not only was she so understanding about the countless hours I stayed up late and got my word count in. She was also my biggest cheer-leader when I wasn’t keeping up, and kept my spirits up when I was feeling defeated by the size of the task. <br />
I’m looking forward to getting back to Blogging now, and getting re-acquainted with you all. Thanks for your patience in my absence.<br />
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Before I finish, I have to share a Proud Papa moment. I was sitting on the couch, watching TV with Chickerdoodles on my lap, and I did something kinda loud and rude, as men are wont to do in their homes. She said “Puba!” (Toddler-ese for ‘Kuma’). That’s right, she blamed the dog! It was one of those moments that I dreamed of when I first learned that I was going to be a dad. I spent the next day at work, telling everyone who would listen, and many who wouldn’t. Then, about a week later, she farted, then blamed the dog. It was just as funny the second time.Will Burkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10158149526658590324noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8969937614238353918.post-9559335501648206112011-11-07T22:19:00.001-05:002011-11-07T22:22:07.048-05:00Review of Melody Hill, by Jessica BellAs I mentioned last week, I got Jessica Bell’s album, Melody Hill; On the Other side. I was excited about this project long before I heard the album. Part of my interest was because Jessica is such a delightful & supportive Blogger (find her at <a href="http://thealliterativeallomorph.blogspot.com/">The Alliterative Allomorph</a>), but I was especially intrigued that she released an album as a soundtrack to her book. As I said last week: How cool is that!? <br />
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One of my pet-peeves is when I ask someone about a band, and they say “They’re good.” Well, The Beatles are good, and Rage Against The Machine are good, so you really haven’t told me anything. I really enjoyed Melody Hill, and I will try to give a more detailed review than “it’s really good.”<br />
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Having said that, it’s a really good album, but I am having one problem with this. I enjoy this type of acoustic-based singer/songwriter music with female vocals, but it’s been years since I’ve listened to it, so please forgive me if my comparisons are somewhat dated. <br />
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This music could easily be played in the same concert with Jewel or Alanis Morisette (being a little more rock-based than the former). I should think that either would be pleased to open for Jessica Bell. It also reminds me a little of Sinead O’Conner’s first album, The Lion and The Cobra, if anyone remembers that. I believe that I’m also hearing a hint of Portishead in there. Her voice alternates from wine-glass-sweet to a rich purr, with an indefinable accent occasionally teasing its way through.<br />
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While the music on Melody Hill seems to have been written with a one-person-with-acoustic-guitar in mind, (see: coffee house), it has been beautifully augmented with keyboards, drums, bass, and tasteful electric guitar. Some songs are more introspective and slow, like “If You Were Me,” or the lullaby-like “Selfish Heartbreak.” Then, we’re treated to the more upbeat and expressive “Don’t Break Me,” or “Love is a Bitch of a Wine (Whine).” “Famous,” featured on her book trailer, is simply haunting, and I’ve had to return to her Blog to hear it again after it ran through my head all day before Melody Hill was available.<br />
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Much of the lyrics are filled with longing and conflict, and if I didn’t know that this was a soundtrack, I’d be concerned for the artist’s marriage. There is no shortage of clever lyrics, and it’s clear that Jessica is a diligent student of the craft. I really enjoyed the phrasing of “I wanna wake to see you, pleased to see me” in “Wash Me Away” The pause in the singing gave it a surprising quality that printed word wouldn’t allow. <br />
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My only problem with this album is the order of the first two songs. Melody Hill starts with a six-minute introspective that escalates towards the end, and the second is more of an up-beat rock song. Typically, an album starts with the song that the artist would start a concert with; a Here-we-are-let’s-go! song. I haven’t read the book yet, so I don’t know how this song-order serves the soundtrack function, but I would have reversed this order.<br />
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I’d really recommend Melody Hill: On the Other Side, and I look forward to listening to it as I write for NaNowriMo (I use the future tense because I’m posting this eight days into NaNo, so I’m writing this on Halloween). Don’t forget about the Amazon Rush on October 11.Will Burkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10158149526658590324noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8969937614238353918.post-55976837179424292882011-11-02T06:25:00.000-04:002011-11-02T06:25:24.666-04:00Insecure Writer's Support GroupI’ll bet that I’m not the first to use the Insecure Writer’s Support Group Blogfest to write about NaNoWriMo. The obvious concern is that I won’t finish, but if I park my arse in the chair for 25 days out of the thirty, that’s 25 days I haven’t written yet, and thousands of words that aren’t on the page yet. On the other hand, I’ve told several people that I’m doing this, so I certainly don’t want to go back to them with my tail between my legs.<br />
But I also want to use this time to let you know that I won’t be around much. I’m sure that you understand that most of my extra minutes will be spent writing. I’ve been trying to get up early to have Bloffee time before Chickerdoodles gets up. I have a feeling that I won’t be too creative in my first minutes of the day, so NaNo-writing may not work. I may feel that getting inspiration from my Blogging Buddies will serve me better, but no promises. I’ll also be staying up late to write, so I could forfeit that early time. <br />
There will be two exceptions to the November NaNo Blogging Sabbatical. This is the first (that I’m writing on Saturday), and the other is a review of a project that I think is just brilliant.<br />
Many of you know Jessica Bell, of The Alliterative Allomorph fame. On November 11th, she will be releasing her book String Bridge on Amazon. On October 24, she released the album “Melody Hill; On the Other Side” as a soundtrack for the book. How cool is that!? Many artists I know have a “major” and a “minor;” like musicians who write, or sculptors who draw, but I haven’t heard of this before. On Oct 8th, I will be posting a review of this album, now available on ITunes. <br />
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rv-hRMA0kqQWill Burkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10158149526658590324noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8969937614238353918.post-15685816903417440542011-10-26T06:55:00.000-04:002011-10-26T06:55:28.813-04:00NaNoWriMo, year two.I’ve been on the fence this year as to whether or not to participate in National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo). I did it last year; I didn’t finish my story, but I got to 50, 000 words. I had the greatest feeling of triumph as I danced around, listening to Aerosmith’s “Roadrunner,” singing “I finished NaNo, I finished NaNo…” on November 30th.<br />
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A couple of days later, it snowed. It occurred to me that if it had of snowed in November, the shoveling would have knocked me out for the night, and making my 1,667 words for the day would not have been possible. And wouldn’t you know it; someone told me that the Farmer’s Almanac had forecast snow for November.<br />
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When I shared these sentiments with my beautiful wife, she said “Why not? I mean how much could it snow in November?” By ph’kr, she’s right! It certainly could snow like a mofo, but more likely, we’ll get a couple inches, here and there. <br />
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When I decided to throw my hat in the ring, I got excited. Talk about following your gut; mine’s saying “buckle up, brother.” The thought of staying up for an extra few hours, with my music and my Starbucks – my buckle-down brew – it just seems like a great time!<br />
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But would it be cheating if I used the opportunity to finish my stalled work? Last NaNo, I wrote a prequel that has occupied the rest of my year. Now the original work has sat neglected for…well,long enough that a fresh approach will hold some surprises for me. I’m OK with it, since it’s a no-prize competition. The point of it being to inspire and build community.<br />
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Who else is doing NaNoWriMo this year? You can Buddy me as Will Burke93.Will Burkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10158149526658590324noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8969937614238353918.post-8748504595178354112011-10-21T06:33:00.000-04:002011-10-21T06:33:58.945-04:00Breakthrough, by Steven Tremp.Say what you will about Dan Brown, he does give us a nice point-of-reference when describing stories. When I say that a story is a Dan Brown style mix of science and murder-mystery action story, I can give you a pretty good idea of what to expect. <br />
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Recently, I had the opportunity and joy to read Steven Tremp’s “Breakthrough,” and it can easily appeal to the same audience. <br />
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The protagonist is drawn into a murder-charge of the scientist who discovers how to create a stable wormhole, making him able to get in and out of a place without the inconvenience of vehicles or doors. With this discovery comes the conflict of whether this will be used by benevolent forces, like candy-grams, or by the highest-bidder delivering bombs to crowded stadiums. <br />
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Immediately, I was impressed with the action. Mr. Tremp was able to portray a detailed fight without stalling the action. He plainly did some study of martial arts to deliver this really well.<br />
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For those of us who have been reading <a href="http://www.breakthroughblogs.blogspot.com/">Breakthrough Blogs</a>, the affinity for science is no surprise. This was also included in the story without losing the reader in jargon. Whether or not you have an interest in the science of the time-space continuum, the part of the story that relies on it will be interesting.<br />
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The protagonist, Chase Manhattan, has a history of CIA-style missions, but what he’s done and who he worked for isn’t spelled out. While I hope this is revealed in later books, it isn’t necessary to the story, and gives a backstory-texture to the work, without the dreaded ‘info dump.’<br />
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Chase also relies on the help of his friends more than the average hero. This added some colorful characters to the story, andI liked the ‘team’ feel.<br />
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I highly recommend this book for any fan of a good action-and-intrigue story. It spans audiences, and in the end, it’s a good story, well told. I really look forward to the next installment of the Chase Manhattan series.Will Burkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10158149526658590324noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8969937614238353918.post-47339243632681605432011-10-18T06:18:00.000-04:002011-10-18T06:18:13.681-04:00A Woman's Wrath.This is a very amusing and somewhat frightening story about my niece, Emma. It begins eight years ago, when she was five. She was at my parents place, just her and Papa. After she went to the bathroom, she wanted Papa to wipe her bum. This is a boundary that Papa just won’t cross.<br />
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She was stubborn, but so was he. In an act of compassion, he brought her a small table with a coloring book and crayons. Nana came home (I think it was four hours later) to find her asleep on the toilet, sprawled over her coloring.<br />
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Flash-forward eight years. Papa’s routine involves going straight to the can after getting home from work. You guessed it – there was no toilet paper. Eight years later, Emma finally got her revenge. As an act of compassion, she left him a coloring book. For the coup de gras, it was open to a picture of a donkey.<br />
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Tune in Friday, when I’ll have a review of Steven Tremp’s novel “Breakthrough.”Will Burkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10158149526658590324noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8969937614238353918.post-70674770980710946462011-10-10T11:45:00.000-04:002011-10-10T11:45:06.863-04:00Happy Thanksgiving!This weekend, in Canada, it’s Thanksgiving. I think that we’re a month earlier than the US because of our earlier harvest season, but that’s just a guess. And why England doesn’t celebrate Thanksgiving is beyond me – if getting rid of boatloads of religious Fundamentalists isn’t cause for a national holiday…<br />
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It’s pretty easy to remember to be grateful when I’m getting two turkey dinners. One was here, so I can be grateful now that the house is so clean, but it was a busy week to get it into this shape. With Saturday being “Showtime,” it was especially busy, and we were in bed by 8:45. That’s right, we’re hardcore.<br />
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With a family like mine, it’s easy to be thankful. On the nights when I’m home at 6:30, I’m greeted by a super-happy dog, and a little girl saying “Daddy!” She’s really more interested in playing with my travel mug, but she’s happy to start playing with my eventually. My beautiful wife will also have coffee ready for me. For many people, this is a nice gesture. For us writerly types, it’s more like communion. <br />
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Andrea and I realized years ago that it was important to show our gratitude on a regular basis, especially for the small things. “Thanks for putting laundry on.” “Thank you for doing the dishes.” And the all-important “Thanks for getting up with Chickerdoodles this morning.”<br />
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About twenty years ago, when I was going through a particularly religious phase, I heard a song by the Christian band Petra called “Grateful Heart.” At that time, I prayed for a such a sense of gratitude, and I’ve been lucky to sustain that since then. Not always, but often enough to keep from getting all Goth and self-destructive. <br />
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I’m glad that we have Thanksgiving. Though most of us have lost touch with the farming cycles that birthed the holiday, it’s very beneficial to remember to count our blessings every now and then. It’s quant and a little hokey, but the truth is that an attitude of thankfulness can balance out some rough times. What’s the alternative; complaining? That just makes me miserable and unattractive.Will Burkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10158149526658590324noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8969937614238353918.post-7090806157748987112011-10-04T20:12:00.000-04:002011-10-04T20:12:49.325-04:00"...but don't look like you're trying to write well...Idon't know; just write casual."How sad is this; I knew what I wanted to write for my second Insecure Writers Support Group post about three days after I posted the first one. <br />
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In a Podcast, I heard this discussed, and someone asked if writers were a particularly insecure bunch. The interviewee said “I don’t think so; writers just seem to have more of a license to express it” (I’d love to give credit, but I listen to so many, I’ve lost the details). <br />
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Since, in reality, all stories have already been told, the key to writers’ success is “a good story, well told.” I have a TON to learn about story-telling, and I’m OK with that, but it’s the Good Writing that concerns me. <br />
Sometimes, it’s obvious that writers are trying too hard to do Good Writing Adjectives abound, and it seems that at least three thesauruses were harmed in the making of the book. I once read part of a self-published philosophical booklet by a local proprietor of a used CD shop. No lie, it sent me to the dictionary about five times per page. I don’t think I got more than 15 pages into it. I like it when a book introduces me to a new word or two throughout the story, and I like it best when I can get the gist of it from the context of its use. <br />
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So, I worry about is writing well, without looking like I’m trying to write well. There certainly is a place for literary fiction, and I enjoy it every now and then, but that’s not what I aspire to. Like any other writer, I love words, and like any other insecure person, I cover it with my vast intellect (my IQ is at least in the triple digits). So, it’s going to be a game of trying hard to get out of the story’s way. Does anyone else worry about trying too hard?Will Burkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10158149526658590324noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8969937614238353918.post-60909297364038464712011-09-29T07:17:00.000-04:002011-09-29T07:17:49.642-04:00The Toddler Adventure Continues...This week, our little Snookerdoodles had her second Birthday. “Where did the time go”; it’s a cliché for a reason. When we first brought her home, I remember reading and commenting on Blogs with her sleeping in the crook of my left arm. Major life change, to be sure, but in hind sight, it was so easy then. Except for her winding-up and crying for 4-5 hours, starting at about 8:30 PM.<br />
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Now, she has words. She can actually converse, and it can be mind-blowing, after nearly two years of interpreting the pitch of her wails. The rude awakening came when we were driving somewhere, and speaking with Andrea, I referred to another driver as a ‘douche.’ From the back seat, I heard “Doos.” <br />
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We had her party last Saturday, with a ton of family and friends over. It went off without a hitch, after a week of cleaning and other preparation. Beforehand, however, we tried to put her down for a nap (a futile effort that day), and we were eating subs, discussing who would shower first, and we were interrupted with a THUMP! We got upstairs so fast, it was like we had been raptured there, and we found her out of her crib, on her hands and knees, and not too dazed to greet us: “Hi…”<br />
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She hasn’t escaped again since, but we’ll have her in a toddler bed really soon, believe you me. We also need to make up the other bedroom for her. And the projects march on.<br />
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A few days later, I had a pretty rude awakening. I her effort to master her environment, Chickerdoodles was climbing on the couch, and fell off. The bump on the head and the startling had her in tears, and I was doing the standard Daddy thing; cuddling, with the “Aw, Sweety…” I got the brainstorm to call the dog onto the couch, in the hope of making her feel better. I gotta admit, it kinda hurt my feelings when she preferred cuddling up to the dog in her grief.<br />
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This made me think; I’ve gotten into the habit of letting the TV occupy her while I get things done. This can be pretty handy, but I’ve got to put in the time with her too. So on my last day off, We played together more than we have been. We had a great day, and when it was time to put her to bed, she cuddled into me instead of just sitting on my lap for her bottle. <br />
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I’ve always known in theory that it’s the time invested that makes a good parent, but I forgot that in my daily routine. I’m sure I will again. But this week, I read the signs, and corrected myself, and hopefully, I can continue being aware of things like that in my home.Will Burkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10158149526658590324noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8969937614238353918.post-76311251195585239292011-09-19T21:37:00.000-04:002011-09-19T21:37:41.197-04:00As the big studios are trying to crank-out several Blockbuster Extravaganza’s per year, they are increasingly mining the past. This has often worked well, as was the case with Transformers and even The A Team. <br />
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Much of the audience approached these movies with a sense of hopeful nostalgia, and they weren’t disappointed. Well, I’m sure that many were disappointed; nerds are notorious for poo-poo-ing any efforts to revitalize a classic franchise, but that’s neither here nor there.<br />
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Which brings me to the colossal disappointment that was the G.I. Joe movie. To be fair, what did they do right? Well, I enjoyed the emphasis on Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow. And, there was some nice eye-candy. I also liked the origins-of-Cobra-Commander part.<br />
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How about the classic character of Scarlet? Known and loved for decades, they spent minutes on the character, and her “I-don’t-believe-in-emotions-because-they-aren’t-tangible” speech nearly made me throw my TV out the window. Really? I’m sure that only the most damaged High-Schoolers are buying into that bullshit dichotomy.<br />
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And how about those power-suits that the new recruits enjoyed? NOT NECESSARY! The GI Joe lore has quite enough to fill a movie, and make it exciting. I’m not 100% sure that there weren’t these Power Suits, but it just came off like a visual gimmick. Granted, it did work as such, but it would have been better in another movie.<br />
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And WTF with the Baroness turn-coating at the end? They were plainly setting up a series (or a sequel, at the very least). Having a primary antagonist switching sides at the end just did NOT make sense! <br />
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Like a lot of people my age, I have a soft spot for G.I. Joe, and I was very disappointed in this movie. Did they even test-screen it with an appropriate age group? It seems that they were thumbing their noses at us, and trying out some new special effects tricks. If that was the case, good for them, but please, do NOT tack a well-established name on it. <br />
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And that’s my spleen-venting for the week. Thanks for hanging in there.Will Burkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10158149526658590324noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8969937614238353918.post-66442647943925906932011-09-12T07:12:00.000-04:002011-09-12T07:12:58.977-04:00Spreading Yourself -- When Is Another Blog A Good Idea?What a turn out for the Insecure Writers Blog Hop! Great idea, Alex. I already know what I want to write about for October; just goes to show what a rich vein of inspiration our insecurities can be :P<br />
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I had a bunch of people start following me that I was already following from the Crusader Challenge in January, so if you aren’t seeing me pop-up as a new follower, that’s why. On the same note, check to see if you may be double-following me. (I’ve done that. No sense in having more in the Blog Roll than you need, eh?)<br />
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When I go to visit commenters, I click on the name on the comment and go through the Profile. I’ve noticed that several of you have more than one Blog. How do you decide to start another platform? And, where do you find the time? I’ve played with this idea from time to time, but budgeting the time would be tricky. Lately though, I’ve been getting up an hour before Chickerdoodles a few days a week, and this works well for Bloffee time. I’m really not in a writing headspace at this time of day (6:30-7:30), but it’s prime for visiting.<br />
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I also get more ambitious at this time of year. I love autumn, and in September, I still get this back-to-school, time-to-buckle-down feeling. Time to ride this wave, eh?<br />
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So do you have a second (or more) Blog? Why, and how?Will Burkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10158149526658590324noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8969937614238353918.post-84495395950072032082011-09-07T09:44:00.000-04:002011-09-07T09:44:01.749-04:00Pissing People OffFor the Insecure Writers post, our fearless Ninja Leader Alex wrote a thoughtful piece on alienating people, and fear of losing friends. <br />
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I recently finished George Carlin’s memoir, “Last Words.” A major theme was how he broke away from the conformity of the status quo. He is abrasive, and proud of it, and he made a good living at it. There are plenty of Blogs that also get abrasive and offensive, and are very popular.<br />
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In the Blogging circles I frequent, however, we’re pretty nice. Even when asked, I find it hard to be critical of other Bloggers’ writing. But there have been instances where I’ve read posts where political opinions just rub me the wrong way. In such cases, I’ll put my two cents in, but respectfully. I am figuratively in their house, after all.<br />
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On the other hand, in my own space, I’m tempted to go-off on some political stuff sometimes. That wasn’t the purpose I had on setting up the Blog, so I usually don’t, but I sometimes think that something is important enough to bring up. This could get offensive, and of course, I want people to like me. But I think that people (and Society at large) can grow from needing to face difficult questions. Half a century ago, some difficult questions were being raised about Civil Rights, and a LOT of people were upset by this. Many died in this struggle, but now, there a are a lot fewer people against these rights, and there have been generations who treat Blacks, Hispanics, Homosexuals and Women the same as themselves. We have a long way to go, but celebrating the progress helps us progress further.<br />
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The big take-away message from the George Carlin book, for me, was how important it is to be genuine. Is it more important for me to be genuinely provocative, or supportive? Honestly, I think that unity should be the end-game, but without provocation, we tend to stagnate. I guess that it’s all about time-and-place. I’m thinking that I should keep this yardstick handy, and to keep in mind that being phony will make me miserable.Will Burkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10158149526658590324noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8969937614238353918.post-27088322336178275182011-09-06T13:19:00.002-04:002011-09-06T13:19:54.576-04:00Pea IssuesI just had such a clever moment, I had to put it on the Internet. As Chickerdoodles was eating her lunch, I excused myself to the washroom. Since she’s nearly two, I keep my ears open, and do what I gotta do, but rarely for more than a minute. When I returned, I found that she had gotten a pea up her nose. I mean, really up there. An average sized pea looked like a small pea, as much of it was around a corner.<br />
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I had a similar problem with half a Cheerio, but it wasn’t nearly so far up; it was barely out of reach. I covered her mouth and other nostril, and the cereal just floated out on a wave of air and snot. Problem solved.<br />
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I tried this with the pea, but it was clearly futile; the larger item wouldn’t simply float out. Plus, she was looking at me fearfully, and I decided that covering her airways for an extended period of time could cause quite the emotional trauma.<br />
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Needing another plan, I tried to get her to mimic me, blowing aggressively through my nose. She found this quite amusing, but not very helpful. I sneeze would have been great, but inducing one would be tricky.<br />
The next best thing was laughing. My next plan was to take her to the living room and tickle her. That got it! After about a minute, the offending vegetable was safely on the floor! Yay, Me!<br />
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Have you ever had to get something out of a child’s nose or ear? I’d love to hear your stories, just in case tickle-therapy doesn’t work next time.Will Burkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10158149526658590324noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8969937614238353918.post-50926424084631583512011-09-01T20:13:00.000-04:002011-09-01T20:13:39.654-04:00How DidThey Cope Without Pee Wands?In this wonderful age, it isn’t difficult to find out if a woman is “in a family way.” These lovely bathroom wands will clear up the question right quick. <br />
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But how did they determine pregnancy in previous generations? Did they wait three month, and if there was still no “cycle,” they figured they knew their condition? That’s one option. I understand that there was a procedure involving a rabbit (from what I’ve pieced together from an Aerosmith song and an episode of M*A*S*H*, the poor fellow didn’t survive the procedure). But since not everyone had access to a rabbit, or had to keep their rabbits for breeding and stew, some of our clever ancestors had to develop another method.<br />
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If a man suspected that his wife (or other “Lady Friend”) was expecting, he would eat a clove of garlic. After an hour, he would return home. If he opened the door to find the lady in question had a disgusted/mortified look on her face (the look usually reserved for when one farts at her parent’s dinner table, or in Church). If the man was greeted with “Sweet Mother of GOD, You STINK!” the mystery was solved. Time to build, or dust off, the cradle.<br />
Will Burkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10158149526658590324noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8969937614238353918.post-61422768888483300012011-08-25T21:01:00.000-04:002011-08-25T21:01:33.042-04:00The Hating GameYa know how people always say “I wouldn’t be caught dead reading that kind of book,” or “I wouldn’t touch that kind of movie with a ten foot pole.” For my wife, it’s western movies. I don’t mind, because she enjoys comic book movies with me (which I prefer over westerns, anyway.) I know, I’m a lucky, lucky man.<br />
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For me, it’s obvious; I don’t have much time for romances. I don’t like the obvious formulas, the shuddering caresses and trembling limbs…pu-lease! No disrespect to the authors who do this, but I’ve never been able to elicit such reactions from the ladies (I was more often the “Special Friend.” Ladies, do us a favor and retire this term), so it all seems pretty far-fetched to me. Give me a space ship or a magic ring any day.<br />
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Twice this year, I ventured into this strange territory. I recently finished Blog Master Tali Roland’s “The Hating Game.” Honestly, I quite liked it. The premise is that the protagonist, Matti Johns, winds up on a dating-based reality show when she finds herself in financial trouble. <br />
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I found that this hard-as-nails business woman was revealed gradually, as the depth and layers of this ball-busting bitch are fleshed-out through the story. Against the background of an awkward and uncomfortable television setting, she is pitted against production staff with varying degrees of ethics, and struggles to hold her own during the twists that we’ve come to expect in reality shows.<br />
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While a bitter protagonist can be hard to like, she is nicely tempered by her more sensitive best friend, Jess. I also found that the failed fling described in the first chapter was so amusing that I could relate to her ill-feelings towards any romantic involvement. The garlic farmer was also a well thought-out character, and well-placed in the story.<br />
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Being set in London, there were a few references to stores or neighborhoods that I was not familiar with. However, the context of the comments gave me the gist of the type of places she was referring to, so it wasn’t very different than the fictional locales I’m used to.<br />
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While the romantic elements are dominant, I found that the story was strong, and it was easy to stay interested. I’m happy for the chance to support my Blogger buddies, but I’m happier still when I’m enjoying a good story in the process. I’d highly recommend this book, even if you’re like me and do not naturally gravitate towards romantic stories. Cheers, Tali, on a job well done.<br />
Will Burkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10158149526658590324noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8969937614238353918.post-71177546866028103942011-08-22T23:28:00.000-04:002011-08-22T23:28:22.318-04:00Cassastar -- Well Worth the ReadI finally got to read Cassastar by Alex Cavenaugh. It’s kind of A Top-Gun-meets-Star-Wars story, and I really enjoyed it. I found it to be a well-written story, and when it seemed ready to wrap-up, it took another turn and carried on. The characters were well-developed and three-dimensional, but there wasn’t much time spent on the enemies. The focus of the conflict was internal to the characters, and between them within the flight school. <br />
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Personally, the only real disappointment was that the invading aliens weren’t introduced until about half way through the book. I can understand that there’s still military training in peace time, but I would have liked an idea of their political climate earlier in the book. However, I liked how the protagonist’s (Byron) special skill was revealed later in the book, making it a colourful surprise.<br />
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The ending could be a tidy wrap-up for a stand-alone book, or it could lead to a series, and I would like to see that universe expand.<br />
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All in all, most of us love and support Alex because he’s a great Blogger who supports the community, but set that aside. Cassastar is a great book, and I’d recommend it on its own merit. If I didn’y like it, I wouldn’t have even mentioned that I’d read it. “If you don’t have something nice to say…” and all that rot.<br />
Will Burkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10158149526658590324noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8969937614238353918.post-24117924110237782872011-08-22T07:05:00.000-04:002011-08-22T07:05:17.595-04:00A Quick Word To The Published BloggersI find that reading a book from a fellow Blogger is different than other books. With my Blogger buddies, I’m used to reading their thoughts on the craft, so when I read their books, I’m much more aware of what’s going into the book. So far, I’ve read two books from be colleagues, and both have been very enjoyable. <br />
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Unfortunately, when I posted my review of Alex Cavenaugh’s “Cassastar,” I was having issues getting my new computer to play well with Blogger, so it wasn’t possible for people to leave comments, so I’m going to re-post that one tomorrow (Tuesday, the 23rd). Then, on Friday, I’ll tell you what I thought of Tali Roland’s “The Hating Game.” <br />
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If you have something available on Kobo, let me know. I’m happy to support the publishing Bloggers, but I won’t say if I got it or not, because I want to publish honest reviews, but I don’t want to get on here and say that I didn’t like someone’s work. If we were a thick-skinned lot, we’d be in movies, eh?<br />
Will Burkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10158149526658590324noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8969937614238353918.post-5673166147228756162011-08-15T06:49:00.000-04:002011-08-15T06:49:22.497-04:00How Much "Like"-ing is too much?I've noticed that when I'm on my Facebook homepage, the right side features suggestions on things you can “Like.” I'm wondering how liberal I should be with my Likes.<br />
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For example, some of my friends Like “Movies.” Not any particular movie, just movies in general. One of these friends has ambitions to be a professional video editor, so her choice makes sense. Or, if Alex, who regularly reviews movies had such a Like, it makes sense. But the other day, Led Zeppelin was suggested. Of course, I like Led Zeppelin, who doesn't? (Well, I can imagine that there are those who aren't too fond of Robert Plant's voice. His “passion” can get a little shrill.) But they aren't in my top 5, or even my top 10.<br />
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I think that my discretion is based on a conversation with a friend of mine. I was checking out his band's page on MySpace, and among his “Friends” was Metallica and Marilyn Manson. When I asked him about his “Friends”, he said that it has more to do with illustrating your influences. “Aaah...” (cue: light bulb) From there, I figured that I should pick my associations sparingly.<br />
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I'm not sure if anyone checks those things, but I'll bet that my friends occasionally get messages saying that “Will Likes Family Guy, would you like to become a fan?” Hey, no problem. But if I Liked Weezer because it popped up, and I had just been grooving on Buddy Holly, my friends might think that I was into garage band college music, and this simply isn't the case. Seriously, if you're not gonna turn it up and call it Rock, great! Or, lighten it up and call it Jazz. Either option is great, but the middle ground loses what's great about both. But I digress...<br />
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Many Bloggers have Facebook page that we can Like, and well, that’s just sharing the love. Still, it’s genuine, and for some reason I didn’t want to be associated with the Blog on Facebook, I wouldn’t. Fortunately, it hasn’t come up.<br />
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What do you think? Am I being miserly, or is it better to be freer with my affections?<br />
Will Burkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10158149526658590324noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8969937614238353918.post-40028896328265502682011-08-06T17:16:00.000-04:002011-08-06T17:16:25.719-04:00Another Fashion TragedyAs parents, we often fear that we’re doing irreparable damage to our kids (Thank you, Freud!). It seems that most parents have fits of grief over how brutal a job they have done, especially when their kids are older (as in, adult).<br />
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Kids rarely feel this way. I mean, I can certainly look back at things that my folks could have done better, but the actual hang-ups that I inherited are few and far between. Asides from real abuse, kids rarely grow up to grieve their parents’ shoddy parenting. <br />
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I recently encountered such “damage” in a friend. Like much of the continent, we have had some brutal heat this summer. It was so hot, our immigrant friends from India were getting uncomfortable. The aforementioned friend (not an immigrant from an Equatorial region) was wearing jeans. <br />
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I had to ask, because she isn’t the type to be self-conscience about her body – she’s a part time model. As it happens, when she was a wee lass, her mom made her wear purple corduroy capris. Now, whenever she wears capris, she still gets that cringing feeling. OK, that makes sense, and we all grieved for her misfortune.<br />
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I haven’t had any such fashion tragedies, how about you?Will Burkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10158149526658590324noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8969937614238353918.post-84424553398398205632011-08-01T21:43:00.000-04:002011-08-01T21:43:21.764-04:00What do you think..?Many of you will have heard of the “Slut Walk.” It started in Toronto when a rape victim was told by a police officer that she could have avoided it if she had been dressed more modestly. It doesn’t take a genius to see that this was the wrong thing to say, mostly due to its insensitivity. Enough women took umbrage with this that they started the Slut Walk, kind of like a civil rights march, or a Pride Parade, but for women who want to dress as provocatively as they please without judgement. <br />
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I’ve got mixed feelings on this. I think that women have every right to present themselves as they like, and that men should be gentlemanly and respectful. However, expecting all men to be so respectful is a pipe dream, and women should not be naïve to that.<br />
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Last night, we had one Andrea’s friends over for drinks on the patio, so I took the opportunity to get their opinions. It got lively. “It’s like they want the power without taking responsibility for the reactions they elicit.” Well, yeah. <br />
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Another point was that the sexual triggers for men are obvious. However, there’s a mystery to feminine sexuality. Even in our candid conversation, the best I could get from them was “it depends on our mood.” So when men see a display of sexuality that is familiar, our immediate association is that they displayer is aroused, and trying to be arousing. <br />
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Or let’s look at it from another angle: Would you wear a jersey from a Swedish football team? It sends a very clear message, and anyone who is familiar with the team would approach you, wanting to discuss the players, coaches, and recent games. Or how about a BB King T-shirt? People would approach with their stories of seeing him in ’82, and the hipsters with their “I mostly like his older stuff.” These are graphic examples of how one’s clothes elicit reactions.<br />
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On the flip side, women’s attire does not create a rapist. You’re not going to hear about a man who left his house, thinking of nothing deeper than an episode of Cheers, until he saw a woman wearing handkerchief-sized shorts and displaying three inches of cleavage, then thought, “Well, I was just gonna pick up some Fritos and smokes, but I think I’ll rape her first.” Rapists are predators, and they target the isolated and the infirm. If a woman is radiating power in any sense, a predator will be discouraged, but a woman huddling into herself and separated from the crowd may be a more likely target, whether she’s wearing club wear, or slacks and a hoodie.<br />
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As always, I’m eager to hear what others think on the topic, so don’t be shy! Display your naked opinions in all of their God-given glory.Will Burkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10158149526658590324noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8969937614238353918.post-6763291712965119832011-07-13T06:20:00.002-04:002011-07-13T06:20:11.446-04:00Is This Thing On?Just a quick check to see if this is up -- can you click through from your Reader? Can you comment?Will Burkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10158149526658590324noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8969937614238353918.post-3480385599901995332011-07-09T10:25:00.002-04:002011-08-22T23:25:36.535-04:00AAARG! My comments still aren’t working! My “Publish” button isn’t working, and the only way I get the post up is to go to my “Saved Drafts” page and “publish” the checked selections. When I go the regular “Publish” button, I get a little window in the bottom left that says "Javascript:void(0)" What does that mean?!? If anyone knows, could you email me at willburke93@gmail.com I think that it's related to my Comments issues. Thanks a heap!Will Burkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10158149526658590324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8969937614238353918.post-73618603260668666002011-07-09T10:13:00.002-04:002011-08-22T23:25:36.542-04:00Vacation; The Awful First WeekWe just had our annual vacation to celebrate our anniversary (4 years), and it was great, as usual. It didn’t start out that way though. A week beforehand, Andrea got a drive-through burger, and by the next day, had such an atrocious pain in her middle, she was wondering if her gall-bladder had really come out! She was afraid that she may be having a heart attack. When she finally did go to the Emergency Room, she stayed long enough to have her blood taken, but a bunch of ambulances showed up, and she got fed-up and went home. I mean, how many times have we waited for 5-6 hours to get trained instruction on the proper use of Tylonol & Advil! <br /><br />About an hour later, the hospital called to say that the blood-work showed a serious problem with her liver function. As it happened, at the last minute before her all-bladder surgery(about three weeks before), a stone escaped into her bile duct, causing inflammation, etc. Andrea said that the pain was worse than child-birth. A friend at work – Jen – has also had the procedure, and said that she would rather have ten more kids than to go through that again.<br /><br />Jen is an assistant manager in my department, and someone who I have a solid report with. I was really glad when I got ahold of her when I called to ask for the time off. I had a week of vacation that I hadn’t booked, and she was able to give me the time right then to be with Andrea in the hospital, while taking up the slack with Chickerdoodles. <br /><br />Andrea is well now, and we were able to enjoy our time at Little Banff RV Park with our dearest friends. More on that soon, because my word count is already getting up there, so ‘Toodles’ for now!<br />Will Burkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10158149526658590324noreply@blogger.com0